Monday, June 15, 2009

Barbershop Talk....

So I went to my new barbershop to get a fresh cut since I finally found a good barber in the Humble-Spring area. The choice of conversation in a black barber and or beauty shop is alway interesting. Well this particular time they chose to dicuss the dynamics of a a same sex male relationship. I was thinking, are they serious? No really, we are still fighting three wars, it was the day a African-American man was shot dead while he was just doing his job at the Holocust Musuem in DC, and we wanna talk about this ish? So here we go....One of the barbers said "gay dudes are not going anywhere so we need to deal with them as long as they cool, while making eye contact with me the entire time." Followed by a customer saying "Well I just don't understand how two men can live together like that, I mean when they are getting ready for work are they standing next to each other shaving?" Considering I tip my barber on average $10 a week he felt the need to intervene. He says' " I don't think it's much different from straight relationships, hell we have ur problems, they have theirs, they work, we work, it's just about daily survival in the fucked up work and economy." He then went on to say he has never felt threatened by a gay man because he knows he's happy with his wife, and they often welcome all types of friends to their home, and the importance of their children being educated about all walks of life. Another woman says well I just don't understand it, but should I because I am not a man, and I am not gay. He turn to me and says T-Money what do you have to say.....Talk about putting me on the spot huh...I then go into my spill....

"Well considering I have been a serious same-gender loving relationship for a few years (on&off) I can give you my personal thoughts. I had to agree with the other gentleman about us just living, it's not different. We have the same issues, and we deal with them. When we get ready for work in the morning we take turns since that seems to be what everyone wonders. It's not about being gay or straight, it's about being human. It's kinda fun because we can talk about things that straight couples might not, like sports, cars, and electronics. We support each other, and deal with whatever life throws us...."

The lady looks at me and says "so you're gay?"......DAMN

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Houston Splash Cookie LaCook

I found this, Cookie was a Houston Legend, and is missed in our community....

Monday, March 30, 2009

Pissed Off Woman In Line At IndyMac Bank in Encino

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

American Hustle -- Luenell

Love it.....

Friday, February 13, 2009

T.D. Jakes' Son Arrested for and Charged with Sex Crime

** Another case of a PK gone wild... Okay for those of us from Texas we have always heard that T.D. Jakes son or son(s) were gay, but now the proof is in the pudding....

Author: David Townsend

According to Dallas police, Jermaine Jakes, 29, the son of the pastor of the Potter's House, was accused of exposing himself in front of an undercover vice detective at a city park in Oak Cliff.

Here's the story. It includes a link to the police report, which includes some pretty straightforward language.

It's not clear why this encounter, which took place on the night of Jan. 3, is only coming to light now.

No statement yet, at least not that I'm aware of, from Bishop Jakes.

Jermaine Jakes' lawyer essentially had no comment.

"We are aware of potential allegations involving Jermaine Jakes and are undertaking our own investigation of these allegations at this time," she said. "Given an apparent government investigation, we have no further comment at this time."

SECOND REPORT

The son of Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of the Potter's House, faces a charge of indecent exposure related to an incident in a southern Dallas park last month, Dallas police said.

Jermaine Jakes, 29, is accused of exposing himself in front of an undercover Dallas police vice detective at Kiest Park, near West Kiest Boulevard and South Hampton Road, on the night of Jan. 3, police said.

He was detained at the scene and released.

T.D. Jakes is the founder of the Potter's House, a 30,000-member congregation in the Mountain Creek area.

Faith Johnson, Jermaine Jakes' attorney, said in a written statement Wednesday evening: "We are aware of potential allegations involving Jermaine Jakes and are undertaking our own investigation of these allegations at this time. Given an apparent government investigation, we have no further comment at this time."

Ruben Limón, park coordinator, said today the park closes at 10 p.m. each night and is usually monitored overnight by Dallas police officers.

He said he was surprised to hear that a son of T.D. Jakes was involved in the incident.

"I wonder how that's going to affect the church," he said. "I doubt it'll affect us because the park isn't known for that sort of thing."

Monday, November 24, 2008

introducing TRADEMARK FOTOGRAPHY....

everyone that know me knows i ALWAYS have a camera. i have always loved photography, and i have tried to be unique as i could with photos. i have had a point and shoot for over 10 years now, and i always knew i needed a digital slr, but never took the timeto properly research them. about three weeks ago i bought my first digital slr cannon rebel, and i am in love (ed no pun intended). i am still learning about lighting, and lens, but i am getting the hang of things i have added a few of my photos to show you some of my work...i hope you enjoy!!!

*special thanks to Kanesha & Marlon Waites (My first couple shoot), Steven Currie (my first shoot), and my frat brother melvin and marcus...

- My fellow photographers tell me what you think also...

Monday, October 06, 2008

the arms of the one who STILL loves me....

love should not be in websters, at least in my opinion. love is such a complex theory if you think about it.... it's a gamble, it can be your best friend, worst ememy, it's an addiction some want, some need, some hate, but to know you are loved, and to love someone words cannot express the feeling. i have fallen in and out of love, however i have said for the past two years if you truly love someone you will never turn it off. i love the love of my life two years ago in 2006. i had a bitter and hard break up tht honestly it took me two years to get over. i tired love again, and again, i tried just "talking" to people, not letting feelings get involed and all that, but that was just not for me. i explored almost everything, however despite everything i never stopped loving one.... i am not going to go into great detail, but i will say after a while GOD makes a way for real love to find you.... i have the love of my life back, and after expressing my feelings, and letting that person know exactly how i felt everything came back... when someone loves you they understand you, they accept you no matter what, and they understand if it's meant to be it will be....we have decided to take it one day at a time, but it will work this time....faith has proven itself....pray for us and strength.....

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The Drum Major Instinct


One of my fav. sermons, please enjoy....



This morning I would like to use as a subject from which to preach: "The Drum Major Instinct." "The Drum Major Instinct." And our text for the morning is taken from a very familiar passage in the tenth chapter as recorded by Saint Mark. Beginning with the thirty-fifth verse of that chapter, we read these words: "And James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came unto him saying, ‘Master, we would that thou shouldest do for us whatsoever we shall desire.’ And he said unto them, ‘What would ye that I should do for you?’ And they said unto him, ‘Grant unto us that we may sit, one on thy right hand, and the other on thy left hand, in thy glory.’ But Jesus said unto them, ‘Ye know not what ye ask: Can ye drink of the cup that I drink of? and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?’ And they said unto him, ‘We can.’ And Jesus said unto them, ‘Ye shall indeed drink of the cup that I drink of, and with the baptism that I am baptized withal shall ye be baptized: but to sit on my right hand and on my left hand is not mine to give; but it shall be given to them for whom it is prepared.’" And then Jesus goes on toward the end of that passage to say, "But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your servant: and whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all."

The setting is clear. James and John are making a specific request of the master. They had dreamed, as most of the Hebrews dreamed, of a coming king of Israel who would set Jerusalem free and establish his kingdom on Mount Zion, and in righteousness rule the world. And they thought of Jesus as this kind of king. And they were thinking of that day when Jesus would reign supreme as this new king of Israel. And they were saying, "Now when you establish your kingdom, let one of us sit on the right hand and the other on the left hand of your throne."

Now very quickly, we would automatically condemn James and John, and we would say they were selfish. Why would they make such a selfish request? But before we condemn them too quickly, let us look calmly and honestly at ourselves, and we will discover that we too have those same basic desires for recognition, for importance. That same desire for attention, that same desire to be first. Of course, the other disciples got mad with James and John, and you could understand why, but we must understand that we have some of the same James and John qualities. And there is deep down within all of us an instinct. It's a kind of drum major instinct—a desire to be out front, a desire to lead the parade, a desire to be first. And it is something that runs the whole gamut of life.

And so before we condemn them, let us see that we all have the drum major instinct. We all want to be important, to surpass others, to achieve distinction, to lead the parade. Alfred Adler, the great psychoanalyst, contends that this is the dominant impulse. Sigmund Freud used to contend that sex was the dominant impulse, and Adler came with a new argument saying that this quest for recognition, this desire for attention, this desire for distinction is the basic impulse, the basic drive of human life, this drum major instinct.

And you know, we begin early to ask life to put us first. Our first cry as a baby was a bid for attention. And all through childhood the drum major impulse or instinct is a major obsession. Children ask life to grant them first place. They are a little bundle of ego. And they have innately the drum major impulse or the drum major instinct.

Now in adult life, we still have it, and we really never get by it. We like to do something good. And you know, we like to be praised for it. Now if you don't believe that, you just go on living life, and you will discover very soon that you like to be praised. Everybody likes it, as a matter of fact. And somehow this warm glow we feel when we are praised or when our name is in print is something of the vitamin A to our ego. Nobody is unhappy when they are praised, even if they know they don't deserve it and even if they don't believe it. The only unhappy people about praise is when that praise is going too much toward somebody else. (That’s right) But everybody likes to be praised because of this real drum major instinct.

Now the presence of the drum major instinct is why so many people are "joiners." You know, there are some people who just join everything. And it's really a quest for attention and recognition and importance. And they get names that give them that impression. So you get your groups, and they become the "Grand Patron," and the little fellow who is henpecked at home needs a chance to be the "Most Worthy of the Most Worthy" of something. It is the drum major impulse and longing that runs the gamut of human life. And so we see it everywhere, this quest for recognition. And we join things, overjoin really, that we think that we will find that recognition in.

Now the presence of this instinct explains why we are so often taken by advertisers. You know, those gentlemen of massive verbal persuasion. And they have a way of saying things to you that kind of gets you into buying. In order to be a man of distinction, you must drink this whiskey. In order to make your neighbors envious, you must drive this type of car. (Make it plain) In order to be lovely to love you must wear this kind of lipstick or this kind of perfume. And you know, before you know it, you're just buying that stuff. (Yes) That's the way the advertisers do it.

I got a letter the other day, and it was a new magazine coming out. And it opened up, "Dear Dr. King: As you know, you are on many mailing lists. And you are categorized as highly intelligent, progressive, a lover of the arts and the sciences, and I know you will want to read what I have to say." Of course I did. After you said all of that and explained me so exactly, of course I wanted to read it. [laughter]

But very seriously, it goes through life; the drum major instinct is real. (Yes) And you know what else it causes to happen? It often causes us to live above our means. (Make it plain) It's nothing but the drum major instinct. Do you ever see people buy cars that they can't even begin to buy in terms of their income? (Amen) [laughter] You've seen people riding around in Cadillacs and Chryslers who don't earn enough to have a good T-Model Ford. (Make it plain) But it feeds a repressed ego.

You know, economists tell us that your automobile should not cost more than half of your annual income. So if you make an income of five thousand dollars, your car shouldn't cost more than about twenty-five hundred. That's just good economics. And if it's a family of two, and both members of the family make ten thousand dollars, they would have to make out with one car. That would be good economics, although it's often inconvenient. But so often, haven't you seen people making five thousand dollars a year and driving a car that costs six thousand? And they wonder why their ends never meet. [laughter] That's a fact.

Now the economists also say that your house shouldn't cost—if you're buying a house, it shouldn't cost more than twice your income. That's based on the economy and how you would make ends meet. So, if you have an income of five thousand dollars, it's kind of difficult in this society. But say it's a family with an income of ten thousand dollars, the house shouldn't cost much more than twenty thousand. Well, I've seen folk making ten thousand dollars, living in a forty- and fifty-thousand-dollar house. And you know they just barely make it. They get a check every month somewhere, and they owe all of that out before it comes in. Never have anything to put away for rainy days.

But now the problem is, it is the drum major instinct. And you know, you see people over and over again with the drum major instinct taking them over. And they just live their lives trying to outdo the Joneses. (Amen) They got to get this coat because this particular coat is a little better and a little better-looking than Mary's coat. And I got to drive this car because it's something about this car that makes my car a little better than my neighbor's car. (Amen) I know a man who used to live in a thirty-five-thousand-dollar house. And other people started building thirty-five-thousand-dollar houses, so he built a seventy-five-thousand-dollar house. And then somebody else built a seventy-five-thousand-dollar house, and he built a hundred-thousand-dollar house. And I don't know where he's going to end up if he's going to live his life trying to keep up with the Joneses.

There comes a time that the drum major instinct can become destructive. (Make it plain) And that's where I want to move now. I want to move to the point of saying that if this instinct is not harnessed, it becomes a very dangerous, pernicious instinct. For instance, if it isn’t harnessed, it causes one's personality to become distorted. I guess that's the most damaging aspect of it: what it does to the personality. If it isn't harnessed, you will end up day in and day out trying to deal with your ego problem by boasting. Have you ever heard people that—you know, and I'm sure you've met them—that really become sickening because they just sit up all the time talking about themselves. (Amen) And they just boast and boast and boast, and that's the person who has not harnessed the drum major instinct.

And then it does other things to the personality. It causes you to lie about who you know sometimes. (Amen, Make it plain) There are some people who are influence peddlers. And in their attempt to deal with the drum major instinct, they have to try to identify with the so-called big-name people. (Yeah, Make it plain) And if you're not careful, they will make you think they know somebody that they don't really know. (Amen) They know them well, they sip tea with them, and they this-and-that. That happens to people.

And the other thing is that it causes one to engage ultimately in activities that are merely used to get attention. Criminologists tell us that some people are driven to crime because of this drum major instinct. They don't feel that they are getting enough attention through the normal channels of social behavior, and so they turn to anti-social behavior in order to get attention, in order to feel important. (Yeah) And so they get that gun, and before they know it they robbed a bank in a quest for recognition, in a quest for importance.

And then the final great tragedy of the distorted personality is the fact that when one fails to harness this instinct, (Glory to God) he ends up trying to push others down in order to push himself up. (Amen) And whenever you do that, you engage in some of the most vicious activities. You will spread evil, vicious, lying gossip on people, because you are trying to pull them down in order to push yourself up. (Make it plain) And the great issue of life is to harness the drum major instinct.

Now the other problem is, when you don't harness the drum major instinct—this uncontrolled aspect of it—is that it leads to snobbish exclusivism. It leads to snobbish exclusivism. (Make it plain) And you know, this is the danger of social clubs and fraternities—I'm in a fraternity; I'm in two or three—for sororities and all of these, I'm not talking against them. I'm saying it's the danger. The danger is that they can become forces of classism and exclusivism where somehow you get a degree of satisfaction because you are in something exclusive. And that's fulfilling something, you know—that I'm in this fraternity, and it's the best fraternity in the world, and everybody can't get in this fraternity. So it ends up, you know, a very exclusive kind of thing.

And you know, that can happen with the church; I know churches get in that bind sometimes. (Amen, Make it plain) I've been to churches, you know, and they say, "We have so many doctors, and so many school teachers, and so many lawyers, and so many businessmen in our church." And that's fine, because doctors need to go to church, and lawyers, and businessmen, teachers—they ought to be in church. But they say that—even the preacher sometimes will go all through that—they say that as if the other people don't count. (Amen)

And the church is the one place where a doctor ought to forget that he's a doctor. The church is the one place where a Ph.D. ought to forget that he's a Ph.D. (Yes) The church is the one place that the school teacher ought to forget the degree she has behind her name. The church is the one place where the lawyer ought to forget that he's a lawyer. And any church that violates the "whosoever will, let him come" doctrine is a dead, cold church, (Yes) and nothing but a little social club with a thin veneer of religiosity.

When the church is true to its nature, (Whoo) it says, "Whosoever will, let him come." (Yes) And it does not supposed to satisfy the perverted uses of the drum major instinct. It's the one place where everybody should be the same, standing before a common master and savior. (Yes, sir) And a recognition grows out of this—that all men are brothers because they are children (Yes) of a common father.

The drum major instinct can lead to exclusivism in one's thinking and can lead one to feel that because he has some training, he's a little better than that person who doesn't have it. Or because he has some economic security, that he's a little better than that person who doesn't have it. And that's the uncontrolled, perverted use of the drum major instinct.

Now the other thing is, that it leads to tragic—and we've seen it happen so often—tragic race prejudice. Many who have written about this problem—Lillian Smith used to say it beautifully in some of her books. And she would say it to the point of getting men and women to see the source of the problem. Do you know that a lot of the race problem grows out of the drum major instinct? A need that some people have to feel superior. A need that some people have to feel that they are first, and to feel that their white skin ordained them to be first. (Make it plain, today, ‘cause I’m against it, so help me God) And they have said over and over again in ways that we see with our own eyes. In fact, not too long ago, a man down in Mississippi said that God was a charter member of the White Citizens Council. And so God being the charter member means that everybody who's in that has a kind of divinity, a kind of superiority. And think of what has happened in history as a result of this perverted use of the drum major instinct. It has led to the most tragic prejudice, the most tragic expressions of man's inhumanity to man.

The other day I was saying, I always try to do a little converting when I'm in jail. And when we were in jail in Birmingham the other day, the white wardens and all enjoyed coming around the cell to talk about the race problem. And they were showing us where we were so wrong demonstrating. And they were showing us where segregation was so right. And they were showing us where intermarriage was so wrong. So I would get to preaching, and we would get to talking—calmly, because they wanted to talk about it. And then we got down one day to the point—that was the second or third day—to talk about where they lived, and how much they were earning. And when those brothers told me what they were earning, I said, "Now, you know what? You ought to be marching with us. [laughter] You're just as poor as Negroes." And I said, "You are put in the position of supporting your oppressor, because through prejudice and blindness, you fail to see that the same forces that oppress Negroes in American society oppress poor white people. (Yes) And all you are living on is the satisfaction of your skin being white, and the drum major instinct of thinking that you are somebody big because you are white. And you're so poor you can't send your children to school. You ought to be out here marching with every one of us every time we have a march."

Now that's a fact. That the poor white has been put into this position, where through blindness and prejudice, (Make it plain) he is forced to support his oppressors. And the only thing he has going for him is the false feeling that he’s superior because his skin is white—and can't hardly eat and make his ends meet week in and week out. (Amen)

And not only does this thing go into the racial struggle, it goes into the struggle between nations. And I would submit to you this morning that what is wrong in the world today is that the nations of the world are engaged in a bitter, colossal contest for supremacy. And if something doesn't happen to stop this trend, I'm sorely afraid that we won't be here to talk about Jesus Christ and about God and about brotherhood too many more years. (Yeah) If somebody doesn't bring an end to this suicidal thrust that we see in the world today, none of us are going to be around, because somebody's going to make the mistake through our senseless blunderings of dropping a nuclear bomb somewhere. And then another one is going to drop. And don't let anybody fool you, this can happen within a matter of seconds. (Amen) They have twenty-megaton bombs in Russia right now that can destroy a city as big as New York in three seconds, with everybody wiped away, and every building. And we can do the same thing to Russia and China.

But this is why we are drifting. And we are drifting there because nations are caught up with the drum major instinct. "I must be first." "I must be supreme." "Our nation must rule the world." (Preach it) And I am sad to say that the nation in which we live is the supreme culprit. And I'm going to continue to say it to America, because I love this country too much to see the drift that it has taken.

God didn't call America to do what she's doing in the world now. (Preach it, preach it) God didn't call America to engage in a senseless, unjust war as the war in Vietnam. And we are criminals in that war. We’ve committed more war crimes almost than any nation in the world, and I'm going to continue to say it. And we won't stop it because of our pride and our arrogance as a nation.

But God has a way of even putting nations in their place. (Amen) The God that I worship has a way of saying, "Don't play with me." (Yes) He has a way of saying, as the God of the Old Testament used to say to the Hebrews, "Don’t play with me, Israel. Don't play with me, Babylon. (Yes) Be still and know that I'm God. And if you don't stop your reckless course, I'll rise up and break the backbone of your power." (Yes) And that can happen to America. (Yes) Every now and then I go back and read Gibbons' Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. And when I come and look at America, I say to myself, the parallels are frightening. And we have perverted the drum major instinct.

But let me rush on to my conclusion, because I want you to see what Jesus was really saying. What was the answer that Jesus gave these men? It's very interesting. One would have thought that Jesus would have condemned them. One would have thought that Jesus would have said, "You are out of your place. You are selfish. Why would you raise such a question?"

But that isn't what Jesus did; he did something altogether different. He said in substance, "Oh, I see, you want to be first. You want to be great. You want to be important. You want to be significant. Well, you ought to be. If you're going to be my disciple, you must be." But he reordered priorities. And he said, "Yes, don't give up this instinct. It's a good instinct if you use it right. (Yes) It's a good instinct if you don't distort it and pervert it. Don't give it up. Keep feeling the need for being important. Keep feeling the need for being first. But I want you to be first in love. (Amen) I want you to be first in moral excellence. I want you to be first in generosity. That is what I want you to do."

And he transformed the situation by giving a new definition of greatness. And you know how he said it? He said, "Now brethren, I can't give you greatness. And really, I can't make you first." This is what Jesus said to James and John. "You must earn it. True greatness comes not by favoritism, but by fitness. And the right hand and the left are not mine to give, they belong to those who are prepared." (Amen)

And so Jesus gave us a new norm of greatness. If you want to be important—wonderful. If you want to be recognized—wonderful. If you want to be great—wonderful. But recognize that he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. (Amen) That's a new definition of greatness.

And this morning, the thing that I like about it: by giving that definition of greatness, it means that everybody can be great, (Everybody) because everybody can serve. (Amen) You don't have to have a college degree to serve. (All right) You don't have to make your subject and your verb agree to serve. You don't have to know about Plato and Aristotle to serve. You don't have to know Einstein's theory of relativity to serve. You don't have to know the second theory of thermodynamics in physics to serve. (Amen) You only need a heart full of grace, (Yes, sir, Amen) a soul generated by love. (Yes) And you can be that servant.

I know a man—and I just want to talk about him a minute, and maybe you will discover who I'm talking about as I go down the way (Yeah) because he was a great one. And he just went about serving. He was born in an obscure village, (Yes, sir) the child of a poor peasant woman. And then he grew up in still another obscure village, where he worked as a carpenter until he was thirty years old. (Amen) Then for three years, he just got on his feet, and he was an itinerant preacher. And he went about doing some things. He didn't have much. He never wrote a book. He never held an office. He never had a family. (Yes) He never owned a house. He never went to college. He never visited a big city. He never went two hundred miles from where he was born. He did none of the usual things that the world would associate with greatness. He had no credentials but himself.

He was only thirty-three when the tide of public opinion turned against him. They called him a rabble-rouser. They called him a troublemaker. They said he was an agitator. (Glory to God) He practiced civil disobedience; he broke injunctions. And so he was turned over to his enemies and went through the mockery of a trial. And the irony of it all is that his friends turned him over to them. (Amen) One of his closest friends denied him. Another of his friends turned him over to his enemies. And while he was dying, the people who killed him gambled for his clothing, the only possession that he had in the world. (Lord help him) When he was dead he was buried in a borrowed tomb, through the pity of a friend.

Nineteen centuries have come and gone and today he stands as the most influential figure that ever entered human history. All of the armies that ever marched, all the navies that ever sailed, all the parliaments that ever sat, and all the kings that ever reigned put together (Yes) have not affected the life of man on this earth (Amen) as much as that one solitary life. His name may be a familiar one. (Jesus) But today I can hear them talking about him. Every now and then somebody says, "He's King of Kings." (Yes) And again I can hear somebody saying, "He's Lord of Lords." Somewhere else I can hear somebody saying, "In Christ there is no East nor West." (Yes) And then they go on and talk about, "In Him there's no North and South, but one great Fellowship of Love throughout the whole wide world." He didn't have anything. (Amen) He just went around serving and doing good.

This morning, you can be on his right hand and his left hand if you serve. (Amen) It's the only way in.

Every now and then I guess we all think realistically (Yes, sir) about that day when we will be victimized with what is life's final common denominator—that something that we call death. We all think about it. And every now and then I think about my own death and I think about my own funeral. And I don't think of it in a morbid sense. And every now and then I ask myself, "What is it that I would want said?" And I leave the word to you this morning.

If any of you are around when I have to meet my day, I don’t want a long funeral. And if you get somebody to deliver the eulogy, tell them not to talk too long. (Yes) And every now and then I wonder what I want them to say. Tell them not to mention that I have a Nobel Peace Prize—that isn’t important. Tell them not to mention that I have three or four hundred other awards—that’s not important. Tell them not to mention where I went to school. (Yes)

I'd like somebody to mention that day that Martin Luther King, Jr., tried to give his life serving others. (Yes)

I'd like for somebody to say that day that Martin Luther King, Jr., tried to love somebody.

I want you to say that day that I tried to be right on the war question. (Amen)

I want you to be able to say that day that I did try to feed the hungry. (Yes)

And I want you to be able to say that day that I did try in my life to clothe those who were naked. (Yes)

I want you to say on that day that I did try in my life to visit those who were in prison. (Lord)

I want you to say that I tried to love and serve humanity. (Yes)

Yes, if you want to say that I was a drum major, say that I was a drum major for justice. (Amen) Say that I was a drum major for peace. (Yes) I was a drum major for righteousness. And all of the other shallow things will not matter. (Yes) I won't have any money to leave behind. I won't have the fine and luxurious things of life to leave behind. But I just want to leave a committed life behind. (Amen) And that's all I want to say.

If I can help somebody as I pass along,

If I can cheer somebody with a word or song,

If I can show somebody he's traveling wrong,

Then my living will not be in vain.

If I can do my duty as a Christian ought,

If I can bring salvation to a world once wrought,

If I can spread the message as the master taught,

Then my living will not be in vain.


Yes, Jesus, I want to be on your right or your left side, (Yes) not for any selfish reason. I want to be on your right or your left side, not in terms of some political kingdom or ambition. But I just want to be there in love and in justice and in truth and in commitment to others, so that we can make of this old world a new world.





Delivered at Ebenezer Baptist Church, Atlanta, Georgia, on 4 February 1968.

Monday, September 29, 2008

back and better than ever....

so i have not been doing my blogging thing that much over the past 9 months or so....well that is about to change, i have decided to return to my daily blogging with my new views on this wonderful thing we call life...stay turned for updates!!!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

never would have made it....

i celebrated my 23rd birthday this weekend. i must say i have come such a long way and GOD has really worked some wonders with me. i have had my share of ups and down, but i continue to praise him in advance for blessings in my life. the last year was rough, i dealt with extreme confusion, depression, and loss. with all of the heartache, i was able to maintain sanity, put together goals for myself, and work myself into the type of man i want to be. i was able to travel with friends, and family, i started the process of taking tog media to another level. i cried, i laughed, i loved, i got rejected, but no matter what and how hard it got i kept my head up. i was initiated into the glorious brotherhood of delta phi upsilon fraternity, i grew apart from several people in my life, and i gained so many other people in different department. i cleaned out my closets, i stepped up my game in so many ways. i returned to houston for good. i became the bigger person in situations, i let my grauds down. i dealt with weight, self esteem, family issues and issues from my childhood. i learned to let go and let GOD.

so you may be wondering what's next for TOG? well only GOD knows, of course i have my vision, and with much prayer, and support i am taking every level of my life higher. tog media will prosper, i will be an uncle in a few months. i will start other concepts i have been taking about for years. i will be a better brother, son, friend and love. i will honestly love myself the same way my lord and savior Jesus Christ himself loves me. for i know what is broken in my life he can fix. i will live......

Thursday, June 26, 2008

single black gay male addicted to retail.....

as i sit and think my life has changed so much, but not much has changed. i thank god for my parents and my upbringing every day. as a young boy i was taught important things about life, etiquette, and life skills that most people never learn. the first couple of years of my adult life were spent working hard towards goals that i had set for myself, and most of them were attained. over the past two years so much has went wrong, but so much more has went better. i gained and lost the love of my life, after him i didn't know how i was going to go on, but i managed to move on. as i think about my life now and where i want to be i must say that i feel god is moving me along at his pace... i have a great new place to call home, i am back in my stomping grounds houston, texas, doing what most young men my age dream of. i sometimes beat myself up for things i have no control over, but i quickly realize that's a part of life. my days are spent working, looking good, and yes taking daily trips to the houston galleria. as far as single ti knew people would ask questions, and no matter who i date, i am single until i am married, and trust you guys will know the tog ties the knot. i am now at a point when i am going from the gap to club monaco, from express to ralph lauren, and discover to amex. i understand that to make it in this world in my chosen fields, i have to look good at all times. you have to love yourself, and when people see my level of confidence that makes them take me seriously. i am blessed to have my youthful look, sleek style, good credit, and eye for unique yet simple and stylish looks...what can i say i am just a single black gay male addicted to retail.....

-tg



Thursday, June 19, 2008

another royal birthday....



birthdays are special to me. after putting it off for months i have finally started planning my birthday less than a month from the big day. i am happy that for the first time in my adult life my birthday will be falling on a friday so that will make it fun. a lot of planning and tieing up loose ends is going on now, but i will be sure to keep you posted. i wanted to give you a few spoilers though! i will have club 2020 on saturday july 19th, the entire club, and the theme will be "chucks & true religons"....this year my all star birthday weekend will begin july 18th and end july 20..i am sooo excited!! i will keep you posted....

-TG

Monday, June 02, 2008

i got carried away with sex and the city....



about five years ago i discovered sex and the city. nobody with the exception of my older brother really could relate with me and my love for this show. it had everything, it had fashion, substance, and comic relief. when the show was over everyone talked about the movie. i paid it attention, but i was happy just watching the dvds of the past seasons (particularly season 5) and watching the edited reruns on TBS. when i met my bff two years ago it was one of the first things we as friends had in common. sex and the city provided so much more, it gave me insight into how women think about sex. it gave me goals, and i was even able to compare my own relationships to relationships in the show. i fell in love with carrie, she reminds me so much of myself, and i loved it from her upper east side apartment (when i went to NYC in the fall of '06 i found the stoop and took a photo there it's actually in the village, not the upper east side. i watched the episodes faithfully, and help mold my life a little bit. well here i am not a young black urban professional man, loving life, even with it's bumps and bruises. i went to see sex and the city last friday with my bff, and two other friends. i was pleased. i will admit with so much build up i didn't know what to expect, but i was please. the movie was great on so many levels, and it was what us fans really needed. the sets were great, the costumes were fabulous, and once again it made nyc the most attractive city in the world. the movie gave us love, hope, laughter, and it summed up so much that was just up in the air when the show ended. TOG gives sex and the city five thumbs up!!!!!!!

springing forward....

greetings people! i know i said i was going to do so much better with my blog, but i have been soooo busy! so much has changed, yet so much has stayed the same. i am on my daily struggle to find who i am and what my God has put me on this earth to do. my faith is the same, and i put my hands into his unchanging hands......even though we have daily highs of 98 degrees here in the great lone star state, it's still spring, and spring is my favorite time of year. spring is when the dead comes alive, it's when we have the pastels, and soft colors. it's the days when we don't mind the rain, the time of the year when i see my bluebonnets, and i pick berries. it's the time of the year we hang out on patios, sipping frozen beverages, and the days all my credit cards get maxed out from buying outfits for various events. spring also has been historic in my life for heartbreak, and my relationships being in turmoil. love has it's ups and downs, love is like spring. out with the old, and in with the new. it's when you need to clean out your closet, it's when you need to take the time to enjoy and do you! it's about letting yourself blossom into what you want to be. here i am six months into the year and i have been in love and out of love already.....but i am springing forward...

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

we need uppityworld...

Last summer while I was in LA with one of my bestfriends Sadiki, he and Trent Jackson took me to the Abbey my last night in town. It was that night I saw how far the upptiyworld had gotten, when we were leaving this guy came up to me and said "Terrance, you have the blog uppityworld right?" I was like wow, well that same guy sent me an e-mail asking what was going on with me. He told me they need a blog like this, he is very intrested. You see this started as a hobby, but now I get daily e-mails about how people are intrigued with my blog and my life. Well I see when I am needed, so I will go back to my daily blogging! I hope you all enjoy, please send me you comments, and give me input. I am working now to develop a new full site, and great layout, but just bare with me until I can get it up and going... I love you guys!!!

- Terrance

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Deltas take Atlanta...

This past weekend I had the privilege of traveling to Atlanta, GA with my fraternity brothers for the Interest Meeting of the Delta Chapter in Atlanta, GA. Our meeting was huge success, and I am looking forward to seeing what ATL brings to Delta Phi Upsilon....

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Hey guys, I have been working hard on my new blog, and personal website. My goal is to have it done by April 1st, so I can bring you what you like to see and read again....Keep in touch and I will keep you updated!

-Terrance

Friday, February 15, 2008

the deltas are coming to atl....

my fraternity delta phi upsilon fraternity inc. will be having our interest meeting in atlanta, ga next month. i have attached the flyer for the event, and to all my atl peeps, and readers i hope to see you there!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

valentines day will not be the same for one northern va man...



Tragedy in Woodbridge
Young gay man killed in Virginia robbery
by Yusef Najafi
Published on January 31, 2008

Darius Cooke no longer sleeps in the bed he once shared with Keith Jamar Truesdale, his partner of nearly two years. Until he moves out of their Woodbridge, Va., apartment, Cooke says he'll be sleeping on the living room couch.

It's not a situation Cooke, 21, could have predicted just a week and a half ago when he and Truesdale, 23, were finalizing plans to move into a new ''rent-to-own'' townhouse. Just nine months ago, they exchanged commitment rings marking their one-year anniversary.

A single bullet was all it took to obliterate this young couple's happy dreams for the future.
Darius Cooke with photo of Keith Jamar Truesdale
Darius Cooke with photo of Keith Jamar Truesdale
(Photo by Yusef Najafi)

It was Jan. 22 and Truesdale was managing the Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits restaurant in Woodbridge. It was not the Dale City, Va., outlet where he usually worked. He was just helping out, filling in.

Cooke saw Truesdale for the last time that day as he stopped by the restaurant to collect some of the paperwork needed for their upcoming move. After running some errands in the neighborhood, fate allowed Cooke to be in an adjacent bank parking lot as Truesdale took a break. He walked over and surprised Cooke.

''Damn, you're still here?'' Truesdale teased. ''You got everything you need?''

That was followed by a casual goodbye and Cooke's reply: ''I'll see you at home then.'' It would be the last words they would exchange, the last time they would see each other.

Truesdale was due home around 11 p.m., but he didn't show. Cooke remembers making phone calls to Truesdale's cell phone. He lost count of how many. As the hours passed, panic set in. By 3 a.m., with still no word, Cooke says he couldn't sit still.

''Just as I was putting on my sweatpants to leave, I heard the phone ring,'' he says. ''It went to voice mail and it was just this strange noise -- hollering and laughing on my answering machine.''

As he walked to the answering machine, Cooke realized he hadn't heard laughter, but hysteria. The distressed voice breaking the silence in the living room that the couple often cuddled in while watching Truesdale's beloved Law & Order was Truesdale's mother, screaming and crying for her son. She had heard the news that at that moment was unimaginable to Cooke.

''He's dead, he's dead,'' Cooke recalls her repeating on that call from New York. ''The police called me and told me my baby's dead!''

''What are you talking about?'' Cooke replied in disbelief on the phone. ''No he's not! I'm going to go get him and I'll call you back.''

Cooke sped from the house, frightened and confused. As his car approached the Popeye's parking lot, a little less than five miles away from the couple's apartment, disbelief gave way to cruel reality. Blue and red flashing lights blinded Cooke until he was close enough to see the only car in the parking lot aside from his and the police was Truesdale's.

Cooke says that's when everything started moving in slow motion, when everything changed.


Cooke learned that Truesdale was caught in the middle of a robbery involving two men, one brandishing a knife, the other a gun, demanding he open the store's safe. Not the regular manager, it's likely he didn't have that combination memorized. Truesdale was fatally shot and died at Potomac Hospital around 11 p.m.

Nearly one week after the incident, Cooke says he has yet to hear from police or the management at Popeye's.

''We haven't heard anything,'' he says. ''[Popeye's] said they were going to have a little memorial for him. It never happened.''

A statement issued last week by the corporate office of Popeye's, the Atlanta-based AFC Enterprises Inc., reads in part, ''The Popeye's family is devastated by this situation: our deepest sympathies go out to the family of Mr. Truesdale.''

Truesdale's body was transported to New York City, where a funeral service was scheduled for Tuesday, Jan. 29. While Cooke said he wasn't included in making the arrangements, he planned on attending the ceremony.

''I thought we were going to be together for a long time,'' he says. ''I felt like we built so much together. Most couples our age don't have close to what we had.''

The gunman, who was dressed in black, was described as a light-complexioned black male, 18-22 years old, 5'9'' and 140 pounds. The second man, also wearing black, has been described as a light-complexioned black male, 18-22 years old, 5''7'' and 135 pounds. The Prince William County Police Department is asking anyone with information about the case to call Crime Solvers at 866-411-TIPS.

Taken from:

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

sometime being the baby is not so bad...

i have been opening up more to people that i feel i can trust over the past year or so. well over the past couple of months i have been getting closer to my sister. we have never had a horrible relationship or event a rocky relationship, we just have kinda always did our own things. when she was in high school i remember always being around her, going to basketball practice with her, her and her friends taking me trick or treating. i remember chilling with her & her ex boyfriend when he was a football player at texas a&m in cain hall. i remember crying when i found out she was leaving texas to go to virginia and dc to attend howard university. it was her that showed me the sites the first time i went to dc, it was her that sent me the best birthday and valentines day cards, candy, and got me the great christmas gift. i even spent my 13th birthday with her, as i spent the entire summer with her, i never knew how much she would impact my life nd be able to help me when i was in need. on the flip side of that when i was here in texas messing up in school, and rebelling it was her that stepped in an threatened me with military school, and not being able to go shopping....(they knew how to get to me)..well when i fell in love with dc i found out that she and her then boyfriend now husband larry were moving back to texas, so i kinda forgot about wanting to move up that way. naturally when i decided to hit up dc i wanted to run it by her since she lived there for about 10 years. i was surprised at her reaction when i told her i was going to pursue am internship, and try living in the district. she told me that she worked hard while she was there, but overall it's a great place to live, and i am at an age where i need to explore live and learn. i was so expecting her to tell me to stay my ass in texas and find a job doing nothing, but making money....sometimes being the baby just ain't too bad...



about to shake washington up again....






well i have been trying to get to dc for sometime now. i decided recently that i will be interning in dc over the summer, and hopefully that will open up some doors for me to get a real gig up there by the end of the summer, if not i will have another plan. i took my first trip to washington dc in 1994 to visit my sister while she was in undergrad @ howard university. i was into being a tourist, wanted to see the capitol, white house, and all the monuments. i took a few more trips afterwards, but none like the trip to dc i have taken in the recent years. i have a artistic side, i have never been much into politics and that kind of thing, until i realized that i was a gay man of color, and so many of us just settle for whatever. i had the wonderful opportunity of being introduced to the human rights campaign in 2006. for the first time in my life i was intrigued by politics, the political process, and standing for equality and change. i started looking more and more into public policies, and what i wanted and needed to do to be at my generations forefront of change. you see i have lived, i am pretty advanced for a 22 year old, and i love life. i am one that believes the only way one can truly analyze something is to live it. i don't believe in a lot of physiological studies, and reading books to figure out a type of person. some studies i understand on other i don't nor do i care to attempt to. when i crossed my fraternity i received a call from one of my most political friends, and he had the following words for me that have stuck with me every day since then he said the following

"Terrance, you are the type of person that most of us aspire to be. you are accepted, but you don't care if others don't accept you. you accept yourself. you are proof to society that all gay men of color are not one particular way. with the work you have done with the hrc, on our campus, and in the community in houston, you are truly a leader, and you will go far, i see what you are doing, and you will be one of the people we read about when it comes ot historical figures in the black sgl community."

those words touched me in so many ways that it's crazy. well last fall i took another trip to DC for a hrc hbcu conference, and once again it was a life changing experience. however his trip was different. i was able to actually sit down and talk to people, then more than one person asked me "Terrance have you ever considered coming to DC?" i was like yeah i come all the time, they said no i mean to lobby, work for human rights, and other important issues facing young people..and no i had never really considered. when i was on capitol hill i ran into a friend from undergrad @ pvamu who now works on the hill, and she said "Terrance you look happy" that made me feel great, but more than that it made me consider a move to DC even more. i came home to texas, and six months later here i am. i have had to realize that my life is just that my life, and i have to do things that will please me, and most of all please my lord and savior jesus christ. i will forever be greatful for this gift that i have and now i am ready to use these god given talents to work for my community...

washington is not texas

okay so the weather is cold, i will not take my car, and i will not have whataburger. i will be in a city where it seem that the african-american community is more progressed, and educated. i will be able to chill with other lobbyist, students, and very opinionated people. i will be able to make life long contacts, ride my bike on the mall, and go to museums on the regular. with the help of some of my texan friends hopefully i will fit right in. so after houston splash festivities wrap up seems i will packing up and hitting it.....!

setting a new standard...

my standards in life are high....well it depends on what is high to you. as i look back on my 22 years of existence i can truly say that i have lead an good life. i can truly attribute a lot of my positive qualities to the people i have surrounded myself with. as a young boy i developed my own mind, and my parents made me realize that i was living for me, image is everything , and things i do are not only a reflection of myself, but of them also, and i respected that a lot. at age 22 i am happy with myself, i have a personality that's like potato chips, people cannot just get one. i have tried to make my life be a well balanced as possible. i cannot and will not overdue my education, because while education is extremely important it's not everything. some of the people i admire the most have little or no education. i can sit in almost any environment and be comfortable, i have a decent relationship with my family, and even though i may not see eye to eye with them, i know that they are there at the end of the day. i say what is on my mind, and i have the reputation for being blunt, i try to express myself in ways that will not hurt people, bu sometimes they get hurt anyway, but the truth hurts...as i explore more of tog and get to know different sides of him, i am finding out so much. i am finding that i am open to things that i might not have been open to a while back, like moving away from texas, even dating outside my race....yea i said it...lol..i fell when people look and talk to me they can feel my ethnicity, yet they can also tell i am educated and intelligent. i have the looks that don't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, at least if i have anything to do with it. i am setting a new standard for the people i chose to let into my life. when you have specific goals and you are trying to get somewhere, you don't have time for foolishness or foolish people. i am extremely proud of the young man i have come to be...i might not have had a lot of the thing people feel you need growing up to be successful, but i have proven them wrong. i came from the working class, and a real mother that gave it to me like it was. i realized early in life that the world is a huge and often unfriendly. i have set a new standard.....and i am excited..

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I'M BACK....

well i have taken a little hiatus on my blogging for a little while..over the past six months i have been dealing with a lot. i have had a lot of time to think and i must say i a m so prepared to make some much needed changes in my life.

i have lived so long without taking chances in life every time, i try to make a major move in my life, i seem to get sidetracked, and settle for something simple. i have been making my own decisions for a while now, but i managed to stay within a comfort zone. i chose to attend colleges close to home, i became involved in relationships with people that had local ties. i saw myself living in texas for the rest of my life. i decided that i wanted more from life, and i wanted to take a change from the "norm".

i have had time to sit back and think about where i want my life to go, and what i want to do. i can say i am about to make some major changes, so i want you to stay tuned...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

yes we are DELTA men....





Last year the story broke about some guys from Houston, Texas that had taken the identity of the first Greek lettered organization for women Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated (Happy 100th Birthday Ladies). It was first brought to my attention last week that people had been sending e-mails (even from their work addresses) about the organization in which I am proud to call myself a member. For thousands of young black students national wide it's a dream to be a part of a Greek lettered organization, however to gain membership to these so-called elite organizations people must often stoop to levels that with almost drive any sane person INSANE! Upon entering college in 2002 I quickly choose an organization I wanted become a part of, I then quickly changed my mind. You see I am a proud gay man of color, I am not phased by what society defines as "normal". I was interested to find an organization that was created for gay men of color, that was unique. One that was established for gay men of color to be able to have a real brotherhood without stealing the indentity of another established organization. I found Delta Phi Upsilon Fraternity Incorporated. Once man had a vision 23 years ago to establish an organization for qualifying gay men of color, that they could join without the fear of being rejected, criticized or even killed....yes killed.. Anyone that knows anything about know that I hold my head high and I only associate myself with positive things, people, and things that will positively impact my life, and the lives of those around me. After years of wanting to do it, I finally pledged Delta Phi Upsilon in the late summer-early fall of 2007 and crossed the burning sands at 11:41am on Saturday October 6, 2007. I was surprised to find out last week that people are making my organization out to be some type of "fake" organization or even an auxiliary organization of Delta Sigma Theta (Established in 1913 from former members of AKA). As much as I love the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta, people should not let them flatter themselves things they have an organization like the MIAKAS going around trying to be them....To answer the questions I have been getting we are all 100% men, we understand our importance in society as men. We are a full fledged professional organization with everything every other Greek lettered organization has. It's not our responsibility to prove whether or not we are "REAL" because what and "REAL" organization may differ from region to region, school to school person to person. We area FRATERNITY not SORORITY. We patriarchate in community service projects, social activities, and we are leaders in our community, and anyone that might me interested n learning more about I personally invite you to check out our national website at http://www.dphiu.org. So to those what want to make this into something it really is not I beg you to please find something better to do while you are at work in front of your computers, or at the least become familiar with BCC and take off your title and contact information. With that being said also since we are a REAL organization....REAL MEN...DELTA MEN!!!!....





yes we are DELTA men....





Last year the story broke about some guys from Houston, Texas that had taken the identity of the first Greek lettered organization for women Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated (Happy 100th Birthday Ladies). It was first brought to my attention last week that people had been sending e-mails (even from their work addresses) about the organization in which I am proud to call myself a member. For thousands of young black students national wide it's a dream to be a part of a Greek lettered organization, however to gain membership to these so-called elite organizations people must often stoop to levels that with almost drive any sane person INSANE! Upon entering college in 2002 I quickly choose an organization I wanted become a part of, I then quickly changed my mind. You see I am a proud gay man of color, I am not phased by what society defines as "normal". I was interested to find an organization that was created for gay men of color, that was unique. One that was established for gay men of color to be able to have a real brotherhood without stealing the indentity of another established organization. I found Delta Phi Upsilon Fraternity Incorporated. Once man had a vision 23 years ago to establish an organization for qualifying gay men of color, that they could join without the fear of being rejected, criticized or even killed....yes killed.. Anyone that knows anything about know that I hold my head high and I only associate myself with positive things, people, and things that will positively impact my life, and the lives of those around me. After years of wanting to do it, I finally pledged Delta Phi Upsilon in the late summer-early fall of 2007 and crossed the burning sands at 11:41am on Saturday October 6, 2007. I was surprised to find out last week that people are making my organization out to be some type of "fake" organization or even an auxiliary organization of Delta Sigma Theta (Established in 1913 from former members of AKA). As much as I love the ladies of Delta Sigma Theta, people should not let them flatter themselves things they have an organization like the MIAKAS going around trying to be them....To answer the questions I have been getting we are all 100% men, we understand our importance in society as men. We are a full fledged professional organization with everything every other Greek lettered organization has. It's not our responsibility to prove whether or not we are "REAL" because what and "REAL" organization may differ from region to region, school to school person to person. We area FRATERNITY not SORORITY. We patriarchate in community service projects, social activities, and we are leaders in our community, and anyone that might me interested n learning more about I personally invite you to check out our national website at http://www.dphiu.org. So to those what want to make this into something it really is not I beg you to please find something better to do while you are at work in front of your computers, or at the least become familiar with BCC and take off your title and contact information. With that being said also since we are a REAL organization....REAL MEN...DELTA MEN!!!!....





Tuesday, January 08, 2008

2008 is here, changes are coming, GOD is working...


a guy that reads my blog recently told me that he loves the blog. he said
"terrance, I have followed your life since you started blogging, back when you used to blog on yahoo360, and I have noticed so much change in you, and your life."

back in october of 2007 i was a bit scared to attend my first homecoming as a alumnus of prairie view a&m university, because i felt like i had not done anything position or meaningful since leaving the hill. i have come to see that is not the case. 2007 bought so much to my life, which at the end of 2006 i didn't have. the main thing about the year was i quickly developed for a young boy, to a grown man. adulthood is one of those weird mind-games, because you can feel like you are an adult, you can pay the bills, be in dependant, yet still be a child. in 2007 i dealt with death, relationships, family drama, work-related drama, friendships old and new, love, heartache, and just normal things that most adults deal with on a day to day basis. i pledged a fraternity, i cut people out of my life, saw people from my past, and enjoyed traveling across the country. i worked for a fortune 500, took time to develop myself into a young business professional. with that all being said as 2007 came to an ended i was forced to deal with something i long thought i had dealt with a long time ago. at age five i love my biological father in a tragic accident, and because of my age and so many people around me i never dealt with it head on. well at the end of 2007 i quickly realized that it has affected me in so many ways i could never list them all. it was one day i was standing at the sink shaving i realized no man had taught me that that is why i was using the clippers and still looking scrungie bout the face. i called and opened up to my mother's ex and told him how much i needed him even at 22 years old, and he told me he was there in whatever way he could be. that meant so much.

so as for 2008..

nyc, los angeles, dc, chicago, atlanta...all place i have considered moving just over the past three months. finally decided...i am moving to dallas, texas. i have always loved dallas, since i was a young boy , but i never had a reason for the move, besides my friends and family that lived in the city, but as far as the family is concerned i am not close to any of them like that... i started considering the move, then i decided to look and research would dallas be a good place for a young sgl african-american man to live, possibly do things like build a house, make money, launch a company of his own, and start building his own legacy, and dynasty? the answer seems to be yes. dallas has always had some kind of unique charm about it for some reason. not sure what has always attracted me to the city, but as i grew older i have seen the presence of affluent african-americans, and young professionals in the city with an artsy touch have made me want in to the fun. this move miht not seem like much, but it's me starting to define who i am and what i want to do. i will be 200 miles from home, in my own world, and doing my own thing, and my parents seem to be supportive thus far. i'm excited, and i just know that GOD is doing some awesome, great things in my life.....

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

NABJ loses friend, mentor and advocate Thomas Morgan III


Former New York Times reporter and editor was NABJ’s first openly gay president.

WASHINGTON, D.C., December 24, 2007 -The National Association of Black Journalists mourns the passing of its eighth national president Thomas Morgan III.

Morgan, who served as NABJ’s leader from 1989 until 1991, died Monday in Southampton, Mass. while visiting family for the holidays. He was 56.

Friends say that Morgan, a Brooklyn resident, suffered a heart attack on Sunday night. Morgan was a 20-year newspaperman, mostly with The New York Times, before he retired in 1994, largely to concentrate on his personal fight against AIDS.

"Tom was a man of passion and compassion. He had the ability to walk into a room divided and help those who held opposing viewpoints find common ground,” said NABJ President Barbara Ciara. “His loss is not only a personal one for me, but a great loss for NABJ. As recent as last week he was making his voice heard as we debated the recent FCC ruling affecting minority media ownership. I will miss his counsel, his dedication to NABJ, and most of all his friendship." Morgan won NABJ's presidency in 1989 in New York City, after serving six years as national treasurer. With his election, Morgan became NABJ’s first openly gay president. According to a profile written by Katti Gray for NABJ’s “Committed to the Cause,” there were several members of the organization who wondered aloud whether a gay president “would be a pox on the public face of what is the nation's largest organization of journalists of color.”

"It was painful," said Morgan, at the time. "I struggled with how to represent NABJ without embarrassing the organization but while also being true to myself. I was elected as a black journalist, not a gay one."

"Tom has always been a sacred giant. An intellectual whose life was a shining example to so many who cared about doing good journalism, about the community and living a life filled with integrity,” said Frankie Edozien. “While I’ll forever have the unconditional friendship he offered over the years, I'm saddened for the throngs of journalists who never got to know the man and bask - like I did in - in his sage advice, warm smiles and hearty laughter. His example of living and thriving will not be in vain."

After Morgan retired, he devoted much of his free time as an outspoken HIV/AIDS awareness advocate, serving on several boards.

“He was actually becoming a great influence on people living with HIV/AIDS,” said former NABJ President Sidmel Estes-Sumpter. “He won the battle for so many years. He was still living a wonderful life and proving that people can live with the disease and have an active life. I teased him that we would grow old together talking about the good old days of NABJ.”

As a long-time reporter for the New York Times and a 1989 Nieman Fellow at Harvard University, Morgan had represented NABJ well, long before he was elected president. According to Gray’s profile, when he became the organization’s treasurer, the financial records were literally in shoeboxes and the membership roster was a collection of index cards. He hired a black-owned accounting firm to conduct the first of what would become annual audits and the next treasurer was handed a $1 million stock portfolio.

“We couldn’t have had a better treasurer,” said Estes-Sumpter, who was a regional director on the board during that time. “It was a position that nobody wanted. He always kept our record straight, because he was fastidious about the details.”

As president, Morgan set up NABJ’s national office, expanded the organization’s mentorship and training programs for students and established relationships with outside organizations like the Poynter Institute. The Morgan administration also created NABJ's Hall of Fame and the Ethel Payne Fellowship for black journalists to travel to Africa for several weeks of research. Those projects continue today.

Estes-Sumpter said Morgan’s tenure also opened the doors for women to ascend to the NABJ presidency. Estes-Sumpter immediately followed Morgan as president, becoming the first of five women to hold the position since 1991.

When he left office, Morgan remained active in NABJ. In 2005, Morgan served as an advisor and guiding force for a group of NABJ journalists who went on to create NABJ’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) Task Force.

“We were blessed to know Tom, and when we talk about standing on the shoulders of those who came before us, we mean Tom,” said Marcus Mabry, first chairman of the LGBT Task Force. “In a very real literal way, we are here thanks to him. When Frankie Edozien and I addressed the NABJ Board petitioning for the approval of this Task Force, it was Tom's intercession that I think turned the tide for many of the people sitting in that room in the middle of a January blizzard. I have been thankful for Tom every day, so in a sense little has changed.”

Morgan was inducted into the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association's Hall of Fame in September 2005. Several years ago, The New York Times created the Thomas Morgan Internships in Graphics, Design and Photography, a program to honor talented college journalists. The Times at one time sponsored an NABJ Scholarship in Morgan’s name.

“I remember when the board approved the LGBT Task Force,” said NABJ Vice President of Print Ernie Suggs. “It was a cold, miserable and snowy day in New York City, but he showed up and delivered a passionate plea about why this task force would be important to NABJ and its members. At the time, I didn’t know Tom that well, but I immediately was taken by his dedication and commitment.”

"I trace some of the high points in my career at The Times back to the time in the early 80's when I was a Metro reporter,” said New York Times senior editor Sheila Rule, “and Tom, then an assignment editor, stopped by my desk and asked me to write an Easter story. But "not just any story," he said. He didn't want the typical, traditional, tried-and-true story. He wanted me to find a black family and follow that family around for the day, as a way of capturing Easter's important place in the heart of Black America. And so I did.

After the story appeared, the executive editor stopped by my desk to tell me that it had deeply moved him. The next thing I knew, I was assigned to do a series on the struggles and aspirations of a black family in Brooklyn, which later won an award from Columbia University's School of Journalism. And then I was sent on temporary assignment to the Caribbean. And then I was made a foreign correspondent and sent to Nairobi. I trace all of those accomplishments back to the day when Tom stopped by my desk and asked me to write an Easter story, "but not just any story." I owe Tom a lot, and I'm grateful that I had the chance to say thank you.”

Funeral arrangements are pending. Morgan is survived by his long-time partner Tom Ciano.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

homecoming 2k7 on the hill






about three weeks ago i attended my first homecoming @ my alma matter prairie view a&m university as an alumnus. i was originally going to set up a vendor table for my company, but after a lot of thinking i decided to just really go down and enjoy myself, see some people i have not seen since undergrad, and just really enjoy the time i had on the hill. homecoming is always a great experience you get to share stories with the old heads, eat great food, and really see what the black college experience was about. as i take my life to new chapters it always great to know where to came from, in order to keep the appropriate focus on where you are going.......





a nu era in the life of tog....

for the past six years i thought i lived just for me. i thought i ran my own life, and id what i wanted to do. that analogy was only semi true. over the past couple of weeks i have been doing a lot of thinking about myself, what makes me happy, and what i want my life to be. you see i was once a young sgl black man with only goals of having the life that most educated sgl men have, i wanted the nice loft in nyc, or the house in the suburbs that would have the empty bedrooms. when you come from where i come from, being gay also means that to cover up for what most feel is not normal you have to be successful, you have to have the nice material things, and the huge banks accounts. 2007 have been one of the best years of my life, because for the first time i was able to sit down and explore tog for tog. i was able to make decisions about my life, what i wanted from it, and how i wanted to live it. i used to think it was not meant for gays to be married, and have children, this lifestyle does not openly promote longevity in our relationships, and now that i look back have that mentality is what destroyed most of my past relationships. when you change your way of thinking, and ask god to guide you in your thoughts and decisions he will do just that, and if you show him you are worthy then he will make sure you have the correct understanding in your life. since this has happened he has began the process of putting the appropriate people in my life to make my dreams a reality, and make sure i have that life that i am proving to him i want.

what do i want now?


i now want a family. when you grow up and you feel like your childhood has been altar ed or something has went terribly wrong you often want your chance to give your children the world, or you just avoid children altogether. i want a family, a husband to love and grow old with. i want children who we can give undying love, guidance, and a great home life to. i want to be successful in my business ventures, and show the world that sgl black men are capable of having normal households, and successful lasting lifelong relationships. i want to play golf with my son, teach my daughter how to cook. i want the Christmas pictures, the birthday parties, romantic getaways, and a house of love. do i think i can magically get all of this without determination can hard work? HELL NO!!! but i am willing to put in the work required .

Thursday, October 18, 2007

another chapter of closure....

you never leave a good book unread, you never leave good dessert uneaten, you never leave the house with out taking a shower or brushing your teeth, and a new rule to add to my list you never let love go without closure. after six years in the life as we call it, and many attempts at successful relationships their was one that just got me. earlier this year after taking a break from dating after a horrible experience with a crazy bastard, i decided to jump back into the dating arena. 2007 brought a lot of changes, and by february of this year i was completely comfortable with dating again. one major difference was I was in my hometown, and lets just say the selection was horrible. i found someone and decided that he must have been Heaven sent, and I was going to do right by this man, he was older and established. to make a long story short it didn't work, and i was so hurt and disappointed because i changed so much, and did so much for the good, and i felt like he didn't care. we went our separate ways, and it was not until tonight i told him how i felt and how things had happened, and how much he hurt me, and for the first time i felt like he cared....normally apologies don't mean shit, but his did, because i felt like i opened up to him to let him know the shit was real f**ked up, and their was no way to sugarcoat it, and i didn't try to. you see i feel like it's terrible to make someone else suffer for something that a previous cats did, so address it and move on.........

sometimes we seek too much....


a lot of people look @ me and think because of my attitude and persona i am not a relationship oriented person. i usually stay away from the relationship thing when i am not in one, but this week so much has happened that decided to do a little post on relationship according to tog. i have been a openly sgl man for 6 years now, and of that time about 5 years i have been in some type of serious relationship. When i was new to the game having a boyfriend was simply "cute" i had on for the sake of having one after my first and longest relationship was over. had the person to call a lover yet i was still talking to other dudes, and not taking anything seriously. i have always been content with being alone, but the image of having a fine dude by your side is one of my weaknesses. then their was another relationship, we seemed to have it all, the nice crib, the cars to match, and i even was able to make him over from a over weight sales rack from ross dress for less wearing, to a galleria shopping urban attractive dude. it didn't work, simply because HE DIDN'T WORK, no income, and major bills bring major problems. if i have to miss a trip to the galleria or a vacation because of two car notes, and rent i get a bit temperamental. when it come to relationships i look at what many look at in a mate, size matters to most, but to me size matters not in the pants, but in how you treat me. size matter when i look into your eyes, and you look into mine. in this life sex defines relationships and that is so wrong. it's not ALL about between the sheet, but it's about how you fuck my mind with your words, and how you as my mate make me feel. it means getting that text from you to tell me how much you are thinking about me, missing me, and wanting to be with me. it's about sharing a vision for growth, and love among other things...i often wonder sometimes do we week too much, or not enough??

Sunday, October 14, 2007

i love my DELTA!!!!!

the most exciting news for me in a while....I'M FINALLY A DELTA!!!! so what's the big deal you might ask?!?! well it started back in 2002, when i saw a group of men in houston, texas. attending a fine institution of higher education such as prairie view a&m university, greek life is embedded into your way of life, and it's a culture of it's own. as a freshmen in college i explored many organizations, and one particular organization stood out. as i started attending events i could see that the members were not at all for having a openly gay member. i was thinking damn i can bring so much to an organization, but i will never have a chance because they are going to judge me solely on my sexual orientation. i quickly started to look into organizations and one stood out, it was the first established. it was an organization started by one man with one vision, to give gay men a color a chance to be a part of a brotherhood, loyalty, and be able to remain true to themselves. i found this particular organization had a chapter in houston, however i didn't know any of the members personally. i know that one day i would be a part of this organization. i prayed, and knew my day would come. after years of waiting, i rushed, was interviewed, and i found out i was accepted for membership. i never knew what to expect, but the education process would teach me so much about myself and others. i went on line august 20, 2007. for six weeks, i was introduced to so many situations, and personalities that i never in a million year thought i was be around and exposed to. i was forced to open up to people, and let my weaknesses that i have tried so hard to hide show. i was forced to humble myself, and be broken down in ways i never saw possible in order to be built up as a man of even more class, style, and elegance. on october 6th at 11:41am my dreams became a reality as myself and my seven other line brothers became members of the Infamous Iota Chapter of Delta Phi Upsilon Fraternity Inc. it's still sinking in that i have new brothers, that love and respect me for me. So what does this mean now? it means i am ready to accept the challenge and do what i have to do for my beloved Delta. it mean honoring the purpose of my organization, and taking it to new levels through my passion, and God-given gifts of creativity, and style. it means going out and seeking the best possible men to become a part of this glorious wonderful organization..... just know it's all about that red and old gold baby......

2007 hrc hbcu summit....

last month i had the privilege again to attend the hrc hbcu summit "the power of your voice" in washington d.c.. as always it was a eye opening, unique experience. now the hrc is one of those organizations that is often criticized in the black gay community for being so "white washed". for the past two years the hrc has played a pi vital role in my life as a young gay man living in america. when i was lost and confused on so many things, hrc came into my life, and taught me the importance of equality and human rights. with the hbcu program, you meet so many people ,and get so many ideas. it's so amazing that you can meet people and in a matter of a few hours you feel like you have known them your entire life. you exchange life stories, experiences, you laugh at each other, with each other, you cry, and have fun. the program provides guidance in so many areas of life for young african american students and advisers in the hbcu community. this year the summit was a bit different, their were less people, yet the experience was so powerful. i was reunited with people from past conferences, not just associates, but life long friends. issues that i was once ashamed to admit, i not face them, and communicate them to others. i had the pleasure of meeting so many people in our community that is making a difference each and every day. i was able to sit down and brainstorm ideas with people from across the country as well as come up with creative solutions to address problems and issues. i was able to go p on capitol hill meet a friend from undergrad who is doing her thing, and for her to tell me "terrance, you have changed so much, and you look so happy" was something i needed to hear. for me to meet so many influential people, and almost break down when i had to say good bye was an experience i could never express...

i'm back!!!!!!

i am so loved.... my last entry on my blog was almost two months ago, and let me first apologise for not letting you know i was going to be on a little break, but s you will see and read, i have been so busy that even i didn't know what was going on! Let's see my last entry came while i was in Los Angeles, CA, helping my boy sadiki get settled in to like in kali. california was great, i never thought i could fall in love with l.a., i mean the earthquakes, and it just always seemed like a different world. well thanks to sadiki not having an apartment, we had to explore the city beyond the typical tourist spots. we had to venture into neighborhoods, and get accustomed to the california way of life in a matter of hours. once we got over the initial shock of the apartments not coming with stoves and fridges, then we were fine. after finding his apartment we were able to enjoy l.a., we ate out, shopped, went to the beach, and really enjoyed ourselves. i was so proud of my little buddie when i left l.a., after a short trip due to a family death, i returned to houston where my life would forever be changed........




Thursday, August 16, 2007

queer road trip & vackate summer 07....first dayz...

hey guys i know i have been gone for a little while but i have been busy with work, getting ready for school, and finally i am on vacation in los angeles. my friend sadiki is moving out here to attend usc for his masters, and i rode with him to help him pick out an apartment, get away from TEXAS, and of course do some much needed shopping...i am going to be one broke bitch when i get back home to texas...we left my hometown last friday night and arrived in houston, where we shopped, and really enjoyed the city. sunday we drove to san antonio, where we did a little more shopping, and stayed with sadiki's aunt and uncle, who were just soooo great. monday we took the long journey from san antonio to pheonix, az, where we crashed @ sadiki's friend stephanies'apartment in downtown phoenix. we got much needed rest, and prepared for the rest of our trip. while in phoenix we went shopping and to dinner in scottsdale, az which is beautiful, but a bit over rated. however i got even more shopping in..lol..tuesday night we made the drive to LA which was fun. one of the best things about this trip is, it has allowed me much needed time to rest, and do a lo of thinking. i feel like i have helped sadiki a great deal, and i would do that for anyone. i try to fill my life with people that are positive influences on myself, and doing positive things in life. so if taking a week to travel with him can be a help to what is is doing, i am glad to be here helping as much as i can. once arriving in la we hit the sack, and spent the entire day wedensday looking for apartments, which he found an apartment that i would give up my new condo back home to move to la and be a graphic designer...lol..last night we had dinner with a fabulous up and coming author, and radio host trent jackson, check him out and get his books. we shopped @ the beverly center, where i found my h&m....and had a wonderful time...i will keep you guys posted as my trip goes on...

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

tog one of a few good men???

so about a month ago i entered a contest for clique magazine's top 20 sexiest bachelors in america, and i honesty never though i was going to make it to the finals. i got an e-mail blast today telling me to go to the site to vote, and since i had not been notified i figured i was not chose, when i clicked and saw myself, i almost pissed on myself! i was like damn people actually think i am attractive, and have something to give...lol..i would love to be featured so hit up the link, and vote for me TERRANCE GILBERT 22, HOUSTON, TEXAS... and while you are there check out the site and support clique by getting a damn subscription....and you already know if i am feature it's gonna be party time.........



The Official Site For Clique Magazine http://www.clikmagazine.com/


working wit somethin...

this week is off to a pretty good start. i am preparing to move into my new condo this weekend, and i must say I HATE MOVING! when you are like myself with over 1,500 articles of clothing, a 14 year old collection of magazines which all have their own place, over 35 yearbooks, then moving can be a bit of a task. i feel like this is something i need. over the past three week i have thought and though about this whole situation, as far as attending tamu, and just what another year in bcs will be like. i feel truly blessed to be in a familiar place, with a dynamic university in my backyard, and i am excited to be going into a new experience with my best friend who is like a brother...i have decided that i will be here in bcs for another year, by jan.08 i plan to know which part of metro houston, i plan to reside in, and start the home building process for a summer 2008 completion. for those of you that are close to me you know how much a of hassle that is going to be for me..the next year will be fun, and i am looking forward to all that will come. i will have new experiences, and i am so thrilled to be starting this new chapter in my life......

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

bridging the gap from boyhood to manhood...

it's tuesday morning, and i am just waking up, from the first full night of sleep in over a week, i turned 22 last wedensday 18.july.07 and since then i have been on a rocket of some sorts. i look back over the past year, and i would have never expected a birthday like the one i had last week. last week gave me hope and inspiration, and most importantly it showed me to conquer my dreams, and life. my weekend was great with the exception of a few things i am not going to comment on, but friday night we hung out @ chacho's in houston, and went on to the club, which was shut down early due to a raid by the fire marshal [memo i still need to email bill white, the mayor of houston about that} anyways...saturday morning i woke up had to take care of some business, then it was on to the galleria for a day of shopping, fishing , lunch, and relaxation. my party was saturday night @ the grand lux cafe, and it was by far the best birthday i have had. several of my friends that i had not seen in a while showed up, and we laughed, ate, laughed even more, and even did the occasional reads...even my brother-in-law and sister showed up to sing happy birthday to me...i must say thanks brandon for everything you did to make this such a memorable birthday. sunday i hung out the brandon, and ralph as we did lunch, shopping, and got ideas for our new condo. i had fun all weekend. however the most touching part of my birthday came late sunday night. i was a bit upset about some other things, so to clear my mind i decided to catch the metrorail downtown to snap some pictures of downtown houston at night. i wanted sometime to think. riding through midtown (my fav. part f houston) i knew their were a lot of homeless people, but i had no idea of how bad it was at night down there. i opted to get off @ the mcgowen street station, and walk down main street. as i looked and saw the homeless children. women and men of houston, texas it touched my heart. in a country as rich in america, i counted 64 homeless people in two blocks, then i looked over one block and saw a sign for some new condos that will be starting at $500,000. i was disgusted. i complained as a child about not having the latest brands, and i have now become a fashion icon, with my $300 pairs of jeans, and almost daily trips to the mall, seeing this situation really made me think about things. i continued to walk and in the heart of the downtown historic district where everyone goes out and spends $40 and $50 to get into a club, their were people all around who had not eaten. it was just amazing to see in a city like houston, texas where we have birth some of the countries richest people, where we have 80 story skyscrapers with executive making millions of dollars, where we can spend billions on freeways, and rail transportation, we cannot make valid attempts to combat this problem. it made me think. you see the life i live right now is the life i have worked hard to create for myself thanks to opportunities that were afforded to me. i grew up around structure, with the best of guidance. i am now realizing as a young man that everyone does not have the same opportunities, and no matter how much education i have, no matter what kind of car i drive, what nice condo i live in, that could be me. it made things real practical for me, i could easily go from a comfortable life style as a yubppie sleeping on my 300 thread count sheets, to a worn out cardboard box on main street....

Friday, July 20, 2007

can't stop, won't stop.....

yesterday i returned to work, damn i have been 22 for almost 24 full hours and life seems to be very different. i guess life changes when you have a different outlook on things. it seem that GOD keeps moving things around in my life to make life work, and make life in general a little smoother...i am now sitting here staring at my empty suitcase, as i prepare for the biggest post-birthday celebration i have every had in my life. i have had so many people hit me up, to wish me the best, and if feels so good. as for this weekend, i am so damn excited about my dinner, and just hanging out as i get ready for new beginnings in life. i am excited that i have a best friend that is going out of his way to make sure that my birthday was and is special because of the last year i have had. i am bless to have someone special in my life that is doing the same. i am blessed to have grown and developed my mind into what i have. for when you seek something to much, you will not get it, but when you sit back and let the Lord have his way, when you for be forever blessed. as i look at things now i have a new attitude about life as a whole. i now see success in my future, i see more stability than anything, and i see myself doing big things in life. i see love coming soon, bigger contracts, and just a great life in general. and all i can say is it can't stop, and won't stop!!!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

it was my best TEAday ever.....



where do i begin? well today was my 22nd birthday, and i must say it has been somewhat of a simple day, yet it has been the most special birthday i have have to date. my day started last night (this morning) with phone calls from everyone wish me a happy birthday. i woke up this morning feeling refreshed, and ready for a great day. i took the day off so that was one thing that was going to make the day great also. i decided to stay home do a little packing, and send some e-mails. i went to hour of power @ noon, which is a special mid-week service that my pastor hold every wednesday @ noon for professionals, and community member to come, get the word, eat, and go back to work, school, or whatever. well when i walked in everyone greeted me and wished me a happy birthday, and my general question was "how do they know it's my birthday??" anyway, he went right into the message, which hit so close to home for me as they always do. it's amazing how every sermon i have heard him preach to date has effected me personally and he breaks down in ways I never thought were possible. i guess the major difference in this birthday was that i am saved now, and i understand the importance of Christ in my life. i now understand that GOD created me for me, just the way i am, and he is with me guiding my path. i now understand that everyday is a birthday, and i give thanks for that. after church, i went to a meeting with some clients of TOG and wrapped up a major project i have been working on which was another great gift. ...i took a trip to the mall, and went to check on my cake for this weekend, then i returned home where my family had a cake and dinner for me.....i have so much to be grateful for, i am 22 years old, educationally focused, i have my own business, a great job, great friends, and sanity. i just hope i am blessed with many more days like this in this lifetime.....and just to think my 22nd birthday celebration is not over yet...

the birthday so far....


my first 10 hours of being 22 years old have been great. facebook makes a birthday even more special, just because of the wall posts. last night brandon was the first to wish me a happy birthday and take a drink for me @ midnight. shortly after that landell called and sang happy birthday to me, it was all to sweet with that Louisiana Cajun accent..lol but it was sweet...following that marquitta, jack and kevin all called so i heard from all of my best friends within the first 20 mins of m birthday....as for today, it will be extremely relaxing, just hanging around the house, going to church @ noon, lunch afterwards, and then a meeting this afternoon.....i feel soo good right now!!

22 years old and holding

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

goodbye 21, you will never be forgotten.......the best is yet to come....


GOD IS GREAT!!!!!


well here it is 22 years after my birth, and believe it or not 21 was one of the best ages of my life... i look back this time last year i was in such a horrible state. i was fresh out of a horrible relationship, i was damn near homeless, yes boojie terrance was almost homeless. i was outta college with just a lot of ideas, no real direction. two days after turning 21 i was arrested for some stupid shit, which i was was in two of the nation's largest jails, for three weeks, and that changed my life forever. i was released and decided that i was going to find myself. after regrouping, traveling, and really living, i made some major changes in my life. i quickly saw who i could depend on, and who not to even consider. i re aligned my friends and associates, and even family members. i started blogging, and meeting creative people like myself, and learning. the biggest accomplishment, and i don't even know if it it is appropriate to call it, is when i became spiritually saved in january of 2007. i found a great church home and a great pastor, whom accepted me for me, and told me to live my life, read my bible, and not to live a lie. during year 21 of the life of terrance omar gilbert, i grew quite fond of my best friend who proved his love for me and our unique friendship in many way from countless trips at anytime, to phone calls, to walking my through one of the most horrific battle of my life. 21 brought love, pain, personal illness, spirit, soul, death, both positive and negative changes, but through it all i was able to look deep into my soul and discover my essence as a young, gifted, black man. 21 was a year i learned to let shit go, in order for me to move forward and have a good future i had to let go of some much excess bullshit that was holding me down a preventing me from moving on. i dealt with racism, and homophobia head on, and when i finished i now know how to deal with it. i traveled extensively, i hit up nyc for the first time, and was thrilled about my nyu opportunity. i had many attacks on my personal character, but i let the very character they were attempting to attack speak and defend itself. at age 21 i learned to embark my life even more, and i had many opportunities to express my pride in who i have become to be. i decided to focus on my companies which i have also labeled my "babies" tog media, and tomar events. i feel in and out of love, developed a better fashion sense and spent way too much on clothing...lol. i learned that this world is a big place, and that possibilities are endless, and you have to go out and take it like a longhorn bull by the horns. i stood up for myself in so many ways, and proved to so many people that against all the odds i can be victorious. i learned a lifetime worth of lessons over the period of one year, and i much say thank you to my GOD in heaven, thank you to people that love and care about me, thank you to everyone that has supported me in so many ways....

he is.....

i have been talking to someone new for about 3 weeks now, and i must say i am extremely happy. the story is real short and simple, we met at the PRIDE Houston parade last month, and he expressed a lot of interest in me. well after conversations i didn't know what to expect, so after a long conversation we decided to become exclusive, yet take things slow. i guess i am attracted to the fact that he is motivated like myself, and has great taste. like me he has been hurt a few times, he is a little closer to my age than the previous so we will see how it works out...i will keep my peeps posted....

Sunday, July 15, 2007

through it all........


....as a part of my 22nd birthday celebration I will be entering special inspirational blog entries all week. this is a song that the pastor @ my sister's church sings each week. i always listened to the worlds, but it was not until i came home and downloaded the song that i realized how much that the song speaks to me.. in the song still here by the williams brothers, they express how no matter what happens in life, keep your faith in god, and you will make it by his grace.

i feel so blessed to be going on 22 years old, and have the mind, body, essence, and spirit i have. as i look back over my life i have been through so much, i have had me share of heartache, pain, deceit, lies, and love. love has been my bestfriend, and my worst enemy. i have had poor days. which seem to be behind me, as i am now very blessed with my endeavors. it was interesting things i have been battling for months in a short conversation with my sister she broke shit down to the common d., which is me taking responsibility for being an adult, and handling my own. "if you are responsible and in dependant then fuck people say and think" is what she told me. she told me about her days of struggling @ Howard University in D.C. and how she was not doing everything for everyone, but for herself. "terrance is you have to work as many jobs as you need to to take care of terrance" and as i grow, and develop into the type of person i go one & on about being i now see that God places things and people in my life for various reasons....

Saturday, July 14, 2007

a week fit for ROYALTY.......


**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**



Houston, Texas- public relations guru terrance omar gilbert aka mr. tea will be turning 22 on july 18th 2007, and tog media has a week of events fit for only a prince. due to his birthday falling in the middle of the week most events will take place over the july 20-22 weekend in houston, texas. the official schedule is listed below:



Friday:

10:30. late dinner @ chachos 6006 Westheimer Houston, TX 77057

midnight. partee like a rock star in Houston, Texas various location through out downtown Houston, TX.



Saturday 21.july.07



10 am. breakfast @ the breakfast klub 3710 travis, midtown houston, texas 77004

noon-until early afternoon. shopping.shopping.shopping

7:45 pm. meet for tables @ the grand lux cafe 5000 westheimer, houston, texas 77054

8:18 pm. dinner & drinks with family and invited friends, associates, desert...

11 pm. a night on the town, all over houston, texas



sunday 22.july.07



noon. service awakenings movement

2:00 pm. brunch @ lastrada 322 westheimer houston, texas 77006

6:00 pm. drinks @ berry hill montrose houston, texas 77006



[wishlist]



well you guys know i love creative cards. i will be moving into my condo is like 2 weeks so gift cards from my fav. stores like ikea, target, the container store, bed bath and beyond would be cool. you know i ove me some coach and tiffany & co. as far as clothing is concerned you know i am a GAP junkie, i also rock lucky, club monaco, banana republic, aldo shoes, abercrombie, hollister. music i am feeling john legend, r kelly, ti. but most important just love from you would be great...lol



i look forward to kicking it with so many people and just having the best birthday celebration of my life.....

Friday, July 13, 2007

project ORGANIZATION....

or·gan·i·za·tion [awr-guh-nuh-zey-shuhn]
–noun
1. the act or process of organizing.
2. the state or manner of being organized.
3. something that is organized.
4. organic structure; composition: The organization of this painting is quite remarkable.
5. a group of persons organized for some end or work; association: a nonprofit organization.
6. the administrative personnel or apparatus of a business.
7. the functionaries of a political party along with the offices, committees, etc., that they fill.
8. an organism. –adjective
9. of or pertaining to an organization.
10. Informal. conforming entirely to the standards, rules, or demands of an organization, esp. that of one's employer: an organization mentality.





that's Webster's definition of organization. over the past year of my life as i look back i have done so much growing. i have had some of the best days of my life, as well as some of the worst. i have dealt with a horrible break up, make ups, finding a new best freind that i can confide in and trust, i have changed area codes, and after it all, i am finally making the full transition from a boy to a professional young African-American man. when i think of my life now, thanks to hours of reading, and countless conversations, i now understand the importance of stepping out on faith, and the importance of believing in myself....





project organization is the next phase of my life, meaning i am organizing every aspect of my life, from family, to love, to finances, to my companies. i have been blessed with sooo many opportunities, i have met so many people that have, and are still inspiring, and guiding me through this process. in the next 90 days i will be starting a new school, traveling to to LA with me friend sadiki, going to ATL with brandon, going to fashion week in nyc with devon, and back to nyc with brandon for a mid- semester break... i will be moving into a new condo in less than two weeks, and that alone is taking most of my time, as i am preparing for all that madness. organization has become quite a priority in my life, because i now understand that organization is the key to success in my life.....

Thursday, July 05, 2007

my companies....

someone asked me via e-mail, what exactly are my businesses? i have never stopped to explain my businesses fully, so now i feel like this is the time to do it....

okay as a young child i had a deep affection for art, computers, and the printing industry. my brother worked for then kinkos (now fedex kinkos), and my friend's mother owned a print shop in downtown bryan. well i feel in love with design, and i started working on the school newspaper in the 6th grade, as the sixth grade editor. from then on my passion for the print design came out. i worked on the paper and yearbook in high school, but after i left and went to college i wanted desperately to find a job in the industry. i started freelancing, and landed some great jobs while in undergrad. in 2006 i decided to start my own full service public relations & graphic design firm.



TOG Media : Terrance Omar Gilbert media was originally founded as unique designs in 2001, and in 2005 i changed the name to represent my personality. when people meet me i want them to know i am stylish, creating, ground breaking, original, and unique. i decided i wanted my business to have the same reputation, and what better way then to give it my namesake. TOG Media is a unique boutique urban marketing, and graphic design firm. i specialize in creating custom look for clients that need assistance with image, branding, and style when it comes to their business or organization. i love taking my clients projects to unexpected levels, with creativity. from business cards to invitation for that special event, to lining up the perfect photographer to capture the event, i do it all....check out the blog togmedia.blogspot.com



TOMAR: Terrance Omar` custom event is my newest concept i launched in the spring of 2007. when i moved back to my hometown i decided to launch a full service event planning agency. my hometown which is twin college-towns of about 200,000 was lacking a young, creative, hip event planner, and i decided to conquer the market. with TOMAR i am still in the planning stages, however i have lined up my first major event and i am sooo excited. ...

my wishlist....

it's takkie to ask for birthday gift, but people keep asking what i want so i will tell you...honestly, AMEX or Simon Visa cards are my personal fav. you guys know i keep my camera with me at all times, so anything you can think of to help me with my digital photography will be greatly appreciated..

[the crib] okay so you know is just under a month until brandon, and i move into our brand new digs @ the woodlands of college station. my color scheme is going to be chocolate brown throughout accented in colors like aqua, pink, and lime. i would love gift cards from bed bath and beyond, ikea, linens and things, the home depot, j.c. penny, and target. i am sooo excited that we are turning our grad school experience into the undergrad experience we never had!!!!


[style.style.style] okay my style is simple yet functional and unique. imma jeans and t-shirt boy with the occasional drees up from express. i love man bags as you can tell from my pictures...my fav. colors are pink, tiffany blue, and brown. i love abercrombie, zara, coach, bananna republic, THE GAP, THE GAP, THE GAP, H&M, hollister, forever XXI, aldo, dr. martens, steve madden, gucci, juicy, and lousi vuttion. you be da judge....

[ toys] you know i love gadgets, i am a mac boy so anything related to macs it cool by me. i have also been peepin that product [red] bluetooth @ the sprint store....
[love] cards, calls, and wall posts....show me love.....

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

understanding beyonce a little better.......hell her songs are my life...

so those of you that know me know even being from metro Houston, Texas, i am not a huge fan of beyonce`, i was a huge fan of the ORIGINAL destiny child, but when they made all those changes and i read the stories of what happened it changed my mind on the group, and particularly beyonce and the knowles family. well with growing, you change your mind about people and things, and she is actually becoming a little tolerable. well when her sophomore album deja vu dropped last year i didn't like it initially, now months later i cannot get enough of it. from waking up to get me bodied every morning for workout, to jammin kitty kat, deja va, and irreplaceable, it has grown on me....
irreplaceable in retrospective... for those of you that use facebook you know that my relationship status has changed a few times over the last two weeks. well a couple of months ago i met someone and i thought it was someone i could grow to love, and have something "real" that so many people say they want, however it wasn't. when i decided to start dating i told myself i would revert back to dating older dudes, and that is what i did, but when you date a older guy, you would think his shit is together, but sometimes i find myself as a 21 year old being more goal-oriented, and focused. it's amazing my ex told my best friend he needed someone "Stronger" no you need someone you can walk over and tell anything to...anyways...i was upset decided to go to PRIDE, well i was walking in the parade and i made eye contact with this person. we exchanged number " i let the hrc group keep going, and stayed to get his number" well the following monday when i returned to work i found an e-mail from this person and decoded to see what it was all about. well within a few moments of chatting via e-mail we saw that we both wanted somewhat the same thing, a friend, and of course true love. now i am a huge love and relatiosnhip junkie, i think that is why i get hurt sooo much, well here are a week later, and we seem to be doing pretty well. he calls, we talk, my happiness seems to be important, he is gainfully employed, and a little closer to my age. i am excited to see what the future hold for us...as for what this has to do with ms. beyonce, i thank her for the inspiration of irreplaceable, i used to call it a hoe song, i now understand. to me it means that if you have confidence in yourself, and know the quality of person you are then no one or nothing is irreplaceable....

Monday, July 02, 2007

summer is winding down...a brotha is getting used to the "aggieland" way...

it's amazing how summer officially started ten days ago, yet mine is pretty much over, as a matter or fact the only thing i have reminding me is the Texas heat, and with all this rain that's not always a reminder. i have had some down days over the past couple of weeks, but my good days out wight the bad ones. getting used to being here has not been as bad as i thought it was going to be. texas a&m seems to be a pretty cool place, if you take it in doses...as most of you know i started my new job about a month ago, and it seems to be going well. i have a staff of people that i really like except a few, but you know how that is. i am in a laid back environment with people that seem to be cool, and i can work at a comfortable pace. Today 02.july.07 i woke up, went to visit my grandmother in rehab after her stroke two weeks ago, and she is doing great, i had to remind her she still owes me a peach cobbler. it's amazing even though she lost her speech, she still makes me laugh...afterwards i had to go to campus to deal with somethings, including a new contract tog media received from the greek life office. i will be design all of the recruitment materials for the fall rush, and i am soooo excited and blessed to have the opportunity. i will also be starting my writing for the batt (texas a&m's student newspaper). afterwards i went to starbucks for a frap, and then hit is home. i passed by and did one of my many weekly check up on the woodlands, the new community we will be living in. last night i was on the phone with Sadiki for like three hours planning his move-my vacation to los angeles next month. so what's next? well tonight i will be finishing up my plans for my birthday party next weekend, and getting ready for the essence music festival this upcoming weekend......

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

tog defines his P.R.I.D.E.....


this past weekend i celebrated gay pride along with thousands of other men, women, women-men, men-women, and children across the country, as we mark the annual anniversary of the stonewall riots in new york city. last year was my first year every attending what people in the life commonly refer to as the "white pride". this year was so different, for many reasons. anyone that is familiar with me know that my sexuality does not define me, it plays a huge role in my daily life, but it is not my sole purpose for life, and i don't eat, sleep and shit the rainbow. however their are a few things i wanted to breakdown for my readers so let me vent...




i knew i was gay at a young age, and i felt it was not right. when you are a young black boy growing up their are certain things you are not supposed to say and do. i remember as a young boy i hated outdoors, i loved dolls, and bright colors, however i knew that it would not be accepted at all. when i came out to my mother at 16 she told me she had known and was just waiting on me to tell her, and that she was going to love me no matter what. at 16 i dove head first into the scene, clubbing 5 nights a week, the boyfriends, all that, then focus changed slowly but surely... a year ago i went though so much as i was going though one of the most difficult periods in my life with a breakup, and just issues that many young adults face.



over the past year i have changed sooo much as a person. you see i have never been ashamed of being gay, however i never celebrated with pride like i did this past weekend. i met sooo many people from an adopted 13 year old with two fathers, to a lady in her early 30's with a 11 year old son that she knows is already gay, and is encouraging him to be himself, she said to me " honey my 11 year old bedazzled and rhimestoned my skirt, and i know already, he is going to be just like my brother, and life with our loved ones is too short for us to dwell on something like homosexuality, we should love each other for who the are not who they are attracted to." i saw so many couple and families all weekend and it reinforced what i want in life right now...










i want the all american life. i want the house or trendy condo with my children. i want the suv to take our children where they need to go, and be able to give children the life i might not have had. i want to shop for toys at christmas time, disney world in the summer, and school plays. i want to cook, "not big on cleaning so hire a great maid or nanny", i want to know true love, and to show the world that we are all God's children and all these society barriers need to be broken down for good. i want to show the world that all gay men are not materialistic label whores that club and fuck all the time, instead most of us want normal lives, we want true love, and happy homes....
this past weekend i met so many people that have made a lasting impact on my life, and reinforced the pride in my heart for who i am in my heart, body and soul, and who I have been for almost 22 years now. i walked in the parade with the human rights campaign, and to walk that stretch of westhimer rd. and see ll those people and have complete strangers feel what i feel, feel the discrimination, hate, but yet so much love was a feeling i could never possibly put into words.....

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Houston Pride Festival gives peek at history

** I made the houston chronicle....


Exhibit boasts one of the largest archives on gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender life

Terrance Gilbert, 21, takes a look around the Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church Gay History Tent at the Houston Pride Festival in Montrose on Saturday.
Jessica Kourkounis: For the Chronicle


Just past the hot-pink columns marking the entrance to Saturday's Houston Pride Festival, beyond the stand for a woman painting portraits on river rocks and through the throngs of young couples in rainbow necklaces sat what has come to be known as "The History Tent."

Inside, hushed chatter replaced the music blaring through the rest of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender festival, which preceded the evening's Pride Parade in Montrose.

"That is a very popular table," said Larry Criscione, pointing out a display of black-and-white photographs, including one from a Village People concert. Down from that were aisles of archived magazines and books, including a photo book of female impersonators from the 1930s and a 1974 manual titled "Information on transexualism for law enforcement officers."

A wiry postal worker who talks with his hands, Criscione, 60, has spent the past 13 years building, preserving and cataloging what has become one of the largest GLBT archives in the country. Housed at the Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church in Houston, it includes 20,000 books, 100,000 periodicals and 15,000 photos.

On Saturday, Criscione lugged out about 3,000 of the items to share with the thousands who flocked to Pride.

"I didn't know that anyone kept this stuff about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered people," said Terrance Gilbert, 21, visiting from College Station. "It makes me want to hang on to more stuff."

The collection was started in the 1970s by Charles Botts, a NASA worker who just "loved collecting stuff on the GLBT community," Criscione said.

Before his death in 1994, Botts was spending 40 hours a week building his archives. One time, when Allen Ginsberg visited Houston on a book tour, Botts brought the author his entire collection of Ginsberg books and asked for a signature in each. It's for the gay and lesbian archives, he told Ginsberg, who quickly started signing.

Since Botts' death, Criscione has taken up where Botts left off. A self-described bookworm, Criscione said he was a late bloomer in the gay movement, coming out in the 1990s. But he's made up for it since then: He put 100 hours into Saturday's display, for instance, and devotes about 10 hours a week improving the church's archive.

On Saturday, a steady stream of festival goers filed through his white tent, some to escape the rain, but others were drawn by the intrigue of history. Kate Brusegaard spent much of her time in the tent flipping through old magazines she had read as a younger woman. She said the collection made her think about "how far we have come."

"We're accepted by all these corporate sponsors and everything now," she said, waving toward the food and drink booths crowding the festival grounds.

The Botts collection is one of two such archives in Houston. Organizers of both are engaged in friendly competition for pieces, Criscione said. But one day, the goal is to combine them to form a Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Museum.

Criscione's immediate goal is more simple: to teach the younger generation. Hanging on the wall of the tent Saturday were two historical posters that he likes to point out to visitors.

The first was from June 25, 1978, announcing the first town meeting for gays and lesbians in Houston. Next to it was a poster offering a $2,000 reward for information on the Montrose slaying in 1991 of Paul Broussard, a gay man, by a group of teenagers from The Woodlands. On the poster was a description of the hate crime.

"People need to see our political struggles," Criscione said. "Back then people bled and sweat and died for our rights. People need to know that."

Thursday, June 21, 2007

being encourged...


this week is almost over and i am soooo ready for the weekend...well my grandmother is doing better, she is responsive, and moving, yet she cannot speak. that has made everyone relax a little more around here. i have been working so hard on so many things this week, and God continues to bless me with people to inspire me and encourage me. yesterday i went to a meeting with someone i have become quite fond of, another local graphic designer i am working on a project with, and after like an hour we spoke about so many things, and she had so many nice and kind things to say to encourage me to do my thing. 2007 as i have said repeatedly has been a year of such development in my life from the boy i was into a man. i have come to terms with so many things that i have needed to in order to become a successful man. most 21 year old would be scared to step out of faith as i am doing to start a business with no capitol, and in a environment conservative city like bryan-college station. however thier is something inside my soul that i cannot tell to clam down, and their is a god above that continues to put people in my life that want so badly for me to make it, and see me succeed...well as for the up coming weekend i will be going to PRIDE houston, with my best friend brandon, and going to the true colors tour cyndi lauper concert sunday. next week i will return home work like a slave, and head to dallas, for shopping, to see my friends, and attend my cousin's party. i am sooo geeked...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

the many tests of faith....

greetings all, well this week is officially half over, yet i have been through sooo much already. yesterday my maternal grandmother suffered a stroke. with emotions flying high today we found out that she is doing relatively well, and hopefully with grace of the Lord she will make a recovery. it's a shame that it takes things like this happening to make us understand how much we love and value loved ones. the most important thing for me is maintaing my composure, and beign there for my mother as she has never really been through anything like this. please keep me and my family in your prayers. one a little better note, my new job has been going well, and trying to get ready for the fall has proven to be a even larger task that i expected. out last place fell through so brandon & i will be living in a brand new condo @ a new luxury student community in college station called the woodlands of college station. the fun thing is we will have to find a roomate this week at a roomate match party the complex is throwing, i asked brandon "what are the chances we will meet someone we can live with?" he said "we won't" lol is all i could do.... i have also been working hard on getting everything situated with TOG Media and Tomar, but that is a different entry. tonight someone that i have been cool with hit me up on yim and yold me he read my blog, and was impressed, i am sooo excited that people are reading and exploring me and finding out what type of person I really am, and as sally field said "you like me.."

Sunday, June 17, 2007

let them eat cake....

as most of you know i am planning for my birthday this year...last year was not the best birthday for me, so i said this year if the Lord said the same i would have a birthday to remember. i am not going to say too much for fear of spoiling it for my guests, but i will say i am soooo excited about my birthday. i am back in my hometown so i have chosen to have a little affair here, very personal, nothing too big, but done with the up most class!! my theme this year is my favorite things [like oprah]. my event will be a lawn party where my family and friends can enjoy themselves, and i can do some much needed catching up with some of my family and friends. hell is took me damn near three weeks to design a invitation, and the few people that have seen them are saying how creative they are. someone told me i need to tell them what to do as far as gifts were concerned.... here it goes:

- well i have become fond of a few things, i love tiffany and co. i know it is not in most people's budget, but i love it. i also love the gap & abercrombie, i wear small shirts, and tops, and my waist size is a 28-30x30. i love glasses, ipods, john legend, sex & the city, whole foods, and dvds. i also love underwear....so there we go...lol



honestly as long as i am around people i love, i will be okay. the past year has taught me so much about life in general, and i have been so blessed......

Thursday, June 14, 2007

the HEAT......

as i walk out of the house everyday I am reminded of how hot is gets in texas. well so far the summer of 2007 is proving to be one of intense heat and changes for the good. i am preparing to move into new digs with my best friend brandon, who also will be attending texas a&m in the fall for grad school. when i moved home i sold a lot of stuff with the anticipation of moving to nyc, but since i am here i will go ahead and buy new shit, so we are going to have fun @ ikea huh brandon? since i have been home i kinda reverted back to a teenager, as i got comfortable with not have to worry about daily responsibilities of life such as rent, and all that. however the more comfortable i got, the more uncomfortable i got, and i quickly realized i needed my own space... brandon seems to think i have good taste in everything, i picked out a nice apartment close to school, and work for me, i wanted something new and that we could quickly feel at home....not only that i am preparing for my 22nd birthday festivities, which will be a week long of events..... after that i will be getting ready for school, atlanta pride, and our trip to nyc....so the heat is on......

the art of closue...

closure is an art in itself. well if you have been keeping up with me you would know that 2007 has been a year i have grown up, and chosen to take a more spiritual approach to life in general. well last sunday my pastor preached about closure. the sermon hit me is so many way, mainly because i was a a part of the sermon. well last month i lost my job, a job i had put so much into, and because i seem to be america's threat, young black, educated and gifted, they let me go as a graphic designer. well it was to my surprise the following day i got a better job, with better pay, a better work environment, and benefits. once you give close to issues that seem to be wearing you down, your life is so much easier. once you discover that their is a GOD or all that handle all of or problems at his own will. GOD puts us through struggles to test our faith, and show us that their is none above him and his word. i am blessed to have spiritual guidance from someone like my pastor that does not pass judgement, and understands what it's like to be a young black man with so many obstacles stacked against you. he understands growing up with a mother who works hard to provide, and at the same time shows a boy how to become a productive man. he tells me to just do you in the eyes of the Lord and you will be okay "t" and that is what i do. i used to be caught up on what ex's were doing what others had, and what i wanted to have but i now understand that you have to put closure on issues. people that have done me wrong i pray for them and go own about my daily tasks. i don't place a heavy emphasis on material things, and my image like i once did. i understand everything in life happens for a reason, and because of God's goodness he owes us no explanation.....

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

i see just how popular my blog is.....

today when i got home, my mother asked me "who has some type of vendetta against you??" i asked her what do you mean? well it turns out that someone took the time to print every page (130 to be exact) of this blog out and send it to my my old address addressed to my grandparents. well considering i don't put anything on my blog that i am not afraid of anyone in the world seeing, i don't see what that individual(s) motives were? did they think because I am a young gay man of color that this would some how rip my world apart? i said fuck it i am going to take my blog down. it was not until i saw what they sent that, i said damn someone is soooo worried about me, that they would take the time to print out my entire blog, spend $5.00 on postage only to get NOWHERE.... whoever did it must not have read my blog. you see i am a very independent young black man who take care of himself, i don;t answer to anyone, because i have worked hard to educate myself, and i work everyday to provide for myself so if i even wanted to be a transsexual i could. i don't come from one of those close minded families that take things like this and let it tear them apart, and more importantly i come from a family where shit like this pitiful attempts to tear us apart only bring us closer together to find out who did it. when you do shit like this you put you name on it, but they were not even have the ball or cunt to do so......if anything they have inspired me to continue blogging about my life and current events, and i know that people are hitting my shit up......

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Dallas may get openly gay mayor

Councilman Oakley makes the runoffs; he'd be the first gay mayor of a major U.S. city.
Reprinted from The Advocate.

On June 16, openly gay City Councilman Ed Oakley and former Turner Construction CEO Tom Leppert will face off in Dallas in a runoff mayoral election. Should Oakley win, Dallas -- the nation's ninth-largest city according to 2005 population estimates -- would become the first major American city with an openly gay mayor.
Though Oakley's candidacy has not been without opposition, attempts to derail his campaign have failed thus far. On the morning of the initial May 12 election between 11 candidates, many residents received an anonymous call claiming, "Ed Oakley has a radical gay agenda for Dallas," and urging, "Dallas needs a strong conservative leadership."
The call ignited outrage in the blogosphere, with many claiming it was a violation of Texas Ethics Commission rules.
But Oakley spokesman Craig Murphy was not surprised by the tactic. "We expected the call," he says. "It's the anonymous sort of advertising that you would never put on TV."
Nonetheless, Oakley, who currently represents District 3 on the Dallas City Council, placed second with 21 percent of the vote while Leppert led the pack with 27 percent. Since no candidate received a majority of the votes, the two with the highest percentages are slated for a runoff.
Oakley, a Dallas resident for the past 25 years, has served on the city council since 2001. His previous positions include six years on the City Planning Commission, and two years on a zoning committee.
"Oakley is an insider who really knows city policy," says Dallas resident Jeff Phillips.
Oakley recently garnered endorsement from the Dallas Police Association (DPA). "This endorsement was the big one," says Murphy, stemming from to Oakley's strong call for crime reduction during his campaign. His plans include hiring additional police officers and tearing down 2,000 of the most crime-ridden apartments in Dallas.
Oakley also has the endorsement of the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund, a national LGBT political action committee working to increase the number of openly LGBT elected officials across the country. The Victory Fund's endorsements come primarily through donors, who are working to raise $100,000 for Oakley's campaign and are currently at just over $71,000.
"[Oakley's] election has the capacity to change politics," says Victory Fund Vice President for Communications Denis Dison. "And I think he will."
While not making any official statements regarding his stance on LGBT issues, Leppert has been known to support anti-gay Texas Representative Pete Sessions, contributing $2,000 to Sessions' 2004 reelection campaign. On the Human Rights Campaign's 2006 Congressional Scorecard, which rates legislators based on their votes on LGBT issues, Sessions received a 0 out of 100. Leppert also did not return an endorsement questionnaire from the Dallas Gay and Lesbian Alliance, one of the city's largest gay rights organizations.
Though it may come as a surprise that Dallas, Texas, is the setting for a potentially historic election, a largely unnoticed wave of liberalism has been sweeping over this city once renowned for its macho swagger and buxom cheerleaders.
Last November, Democrats won 47 local races, many which were previously held by longstanding Republican incumbents.
The Dallas Convention and Visitors Bureau's LGBT Web site boasts that "Dallas truly is the most liberal city in Texas!" with its "sassy drag queens and strapping gay rodeo champs."
Dallas also has the ninth-largest concentration of same-sex couples in the country, according to the Williams Institute, a think tank studying sexual-orientation law and public policy at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law. The Cathedral of Hope, the world's largest gay church with a congregation of 3,500, also calls Dallas its home.
The increase of gay representation in Dallas politics has its own extensive history. In 1991, a judge ordered that the city council districts be redivided amongst 14 different seats, thus ensuring better minority representation. The first openly gay city council member was elected two years later. Dallas currently has a few county-level elected officials who openly identify as gay, including Sheriff Lupe Valdez and County Judge (the chairman of the county commissioners) Jim Foster.
Looks like Austin's got some competition for "most gay-friendly city" in Texas.

sheer success....a brotha takes it.....

i am a big fan of bravo reality shows. well during the last couple of months i had not been watching much t.v. due to work and other things, so when i started watching t.v. again i saw bravo had a new reality show sheer genius. i caught the show one one of those days where they show it over and over, and instantly fell in love. what attracted me to the show the most was the fact that we had a brotha on the show that seemed to have a lot going for himself. after initially watching the show i quickly called brandon to compare note, and brandon told me anthony would be the winner, and i agreed. anthony is a 40 year old from Hertfordshire, England, but now resides in L.A. where he is a hair stylist. anthony seems to be different from other African-American men that end up on reality shows, he didn;t crave the attention, and just get on the show and make a pure ass of himself like others i have seen. i am glad that we finally have had a brotha win a hit show, and i am looking forward to seeing him do big things, and meeting him one day.....

Thursday, April 12, 2007

becoming a aggie....






you see i am from aggieland where we see no orange, where we bleed maroon. i am from the place where on game days i avoided college station, i am from a place where when the bonfire fell, we were a community in mourning. i am from a place where being an aggie for most is a continuing a legacy. after much careful consideration, and a little bit of persuasion from a few friends and mentors, i decided to hold it down @ tamu for my masters in business administration in marketing. yes as liberal as i am i am ending up at one of the most conservative schools i know of, it's going to be funny to see how this all turns out! check out the pics....

inspi(red) foreal....


last night i went to bible study, and there were so many things that we studied, that provided a more clear understanding of my life. i have been in my hometown for a little over 6 months working, and trying to re-group after last years events. one important thing i did discover is the power of forgiveness... i had to forgive my ex and all i went through with him in order for myself to feel complete. after things didn't work with trey i came home and decided to let the lord have is way when it came to how he wanted me to live my life, and did he deliver me in so many ways? when you patiently wait for god to bless you, the things that were one time important don't even seem to matter. i was patient with him, and he blessed me with so much more that i could have ever asked for. when you put your hand in Christ and walk with him he will provide for you like no one else can..... after church last night i went to dinner with jay, and we talked for over an hour about where we had been, and it was a little easier to figure him out now. and i really believe that with time and patience that this relationship between the two of us could be very beneficial. i mean he has the structure i have always wanted in a mate, and the fact i am quite a bit younger than him doesn't bother him. we have a chemistry that is hard to explain, but it works....

Thursday, April 05, 2007

a dream, a simple fantasy....no it's real life....

so I have been in my hometown for a couple of months doing the real world thing. i never saw myself here after doing the college and big city thing for four years. after a horrible break up after a abusive relationship, and damn near hitting rock bottom emotionally, I decided to return home to re-group and fully prepare for grad school. what was supposed to be a short layover has turned in to a nice stay, and i must say for the good. since being home i have grown up sooooo much, and i have so much more to be thankful for now. i have become saved, i have a new found love for my family, even though it gets rough, my wardrobe has tripled and i am in a progressive relationship with someone new, something i had a huge doubt would ever happen to me again... most importantly i am living out my dream of owning my own business here in my hometown. the reality is i will probably end back up in houston within a couple of months, but i will be much more prepared to deal with things i was not in the previous years. who knows, i just know thus far i am please with 2007, and the blessings GOD has sent my way....

Monday, March 19, 2007

keeping the faith.....

faith

–noun

1.confidence or trust in a person or thing
2.belief that is not based on proof
3.belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion
4.belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.
5.a system of religious belief
6.the obligation of loyalty or fidelity to a person, promise, engagement
7.the observance of this obligation; fidelity to one's promise, oath, allegiance, etc.
8.Christian Theology. the trust in God and in His promises as made through Christ and the Scriptures by which humans are justified or saved.

------------------

faith is one thing in my life that has been tested so many times. i decided that 2007 for me would be the year of walking out on faith, and letting God guide my paths, and with the first quarter of the year over, God has proved that he is indeed an awsome God. I have a new church home, closer friends, and family members, tog media is growing more and more each day, i have a new boyfriend, and i am developing into the type of young man i have always wanted to be. as i explained to a friend in a recent conversation it is not about driving a bmx or living in a nice crib, faith is based on knowing that all you have is a blessing, the good, the bad, the happy, the sad. when i put my life into the hands of the Lord he has shown me he has so much in store for me.......I truly know the best is yet to come.......

Friday, March 16, 2007

Death makes you think....


Yesterday I accompanied my mother to her first cousin's funeral in Dallas. The services were bitter sweet, I know she had been suffering for so long, and I know she made the journey to Heaven. She and my mother over the past couple of years had become more like sisters than first cousins. I have a best friend, and two ex's that have lost their mothers, I could not imagine the feeling. On the drive up to Dallas I was able to talk about so many things, and just really understand more things about life in general. My mother and I might bump heads about each others decisions, in life, but when it is all over and done with, I understand the importance of a Strong mother, who is willing to do whatever she can that is morally ethical for her children. To have my mother as a mother is to know unconditional, true, limitless love. I am excited because Jay (my boyfriend) is meeting her today, we will see how this goes.....Mama I know oyu read my blog, and check my facebook, so I want you to know I love you so much....

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Check out my Slide Show!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Irrepressible liberal columnist Molly Ivins dies


AUSTIN -- Molly Ivins, whose biting columns mixed liberal populism with an irreverent Texas wit, died Wednesday at her home in Austin after an up-and-down, seven-year battle with breast cancer. She was 62.
Ms. Ivins, the Star-Telegram's political columnist for nine years ending in 2001, had written for The New York Times, the Dallas Times-Herald and Time magazine and had been a sought-after pundit on television talk shows where she provided a Texas slant on issues ranging from President Bush's pedigree to the culture wars rooted in the 1960s.
"She was magical in her writing," said Mike Blackman, a former Star-Telegram executive editor who hired Ms. Ivins at the Austin bureau in 1992, a few months after the Times-Herald folded. "She could turn a phrase in such a way that a pretty hard-hitting point didn't hurt so bad."
Ms. Ivins, a California native who moved to Houston as a child with her family, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1999. Two years later, after enduring a radical mastectomy and chemotherapy, doctors told her she had a 70 percent chance of remaining cancer-free for five years. At the time, she said she liked the odds.
But the cancer recurred in 2003 and again last year. In recent weeks, she had suspended her twice-weekly column for Creators Syndicate, allowing guest writers to use the space while she underwent further treatment. She made a brief return to writing in mid-January, urging readers to resist President Bush's increase in the number of troops in Iraq. She likened her call to an old-fashioned "newspaper crusade."
"We are the people who run this country," Ms. Ivins said in the column published in the Jan. 14 edition of the Star-Telegram. "We are the deciders. And every single day, every single one of us needs to step outside and take some action to help stop this war.
"Raise hell," she continued. "Think of something to make the ridiculous look ridiculous. Make our troops know we're for them and are trying to get them out of there. Hit the streets to protest Bush's proposed surge."
She ended the piece by endorsing last Saturday's peace march in Washington: "We need people in the streets, banging pots and pans and demanding, 'Stop it, now!'"
Ms. Ivins died at 5:24 p.m. Wednesday at her home in central Austin, representatives of her family said.
President Bush called Ms. Ivins a "Texas original" in a statement Wednesday.
"I respected her convictions, her passionate belief in the power of words, and her ability to turn a phrase. She fought her illness with that same passion. Her quick wit and commitment to her beliefs will be missed. Laura and I send our condolences to Molly Ivins' family and friends."
The spice of Texas
Born Mary Tyler Ivins on Aug. 30, 1944, in Monterey, Calif., Ms. Ivins was raised in the upscale River Oaks section of Houston. She earned her journalism degree at elite Smith College in Massachusetts in 1966.
She later earned a master's degree from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism.
She ventured to Minnesota, taking a job as a police reporter for the Minneapolis Tribune.
Growing weary of the winters in the Upper Midwest and missing the spice of Texas food and its politics, Ms. Ivins moved to Austin to become co-editor of the Texas Observer, long considered the state's liberal conscience.
Nadine Eckhardt, the former wife of the late Texas novelist Billy Lee Bramer and who later married former U.S. Rep. Bob Eckhardt, said Ms. Ivins soon became a fixture in the Austin political and cocktail party scene in the early 1970s.
"That's where she became the Molly Ivins as we've come to know her," said Eckhardt, Ms. Ivins' friend for nearly 40 years. "The Observer had such wonderful writers doing such wonderful stories at the time, and Molly was always right in the middle of everything."
Her writing flair caught the attention of The New York Times, which hired her to cover city hall, then later moved her to the statehouse bureau in Albany. Later, she was assigned to the Times' Rocky Mountain bureau in Denver.
Even though she wrote the Times' obituary for Elvis Presley in 1977, Ms. Ivins said later that she and the Times proved to be a mismatch. In a 2002 interview with the Star-Telegram, Ms. Ivins recalled that she would write about something that "squawked like a $2 fiddle" only to have a Times editor rewrite it to say "as an inexpensive instrument."
So Ms. Ivins returned to Austin in 1982 to become a columnist for the Dallas Times-Herald and reconnect with such political figures as Ann Richards, who would later become governor, and Bob Bullock, then the hard-drinking state comptroller who later wielded great power as lieutenant governor.
Trademark language
Her column provided Ms. Ivins the freedom to express her views with the colorful language that would become her trademark. She called such figures as Ross Perot, former U.S. Sen. John Tower and ex-Gov. Bill Clements "runts with attitudes." As a candidate for governor, George W. Bush became "Shrub," a nickname she never tired of using.
Surprised became "whomper-jawed." An angry person would "throw a walleyed fit."
Ms. Ivins, who was single and had no children, told readers about her cancer in a matter-of-fact afterward in an otherwise ordinary column.
"I have contracted an outstanding case of breast cancer, from which I fully intend to recover," she wrote in her Dec. 14, 1999, column. "I don't need get-well cards, but I would like the beloved women readers to do something for me: Go. Get. The. Damn. Mammogram. Done."
Ms. Ivins wrote three books and co-authored a fourth. She was a three-time finalist for a Pulitzer Prize and had served on Amnesty International's Journalism Network, but the iconoclastic writer often said that her two highest honors were being banned from the conservative campus of Texas A&M University and having the Minneapolis police name their mascot pig after her when she covered the department.
According to family representatives, Ms. Ivins is survived by her sister, Sara Ivins Maley of Albuquerque, N.M., her brother, Andy Ivins of London; sister-in-law Carla Ivins, nephew Drew and niece Darby; niece Margot Hutchison and her husband, Neil, and their children Sam, Andy and Charlie of San Diego, Calif., and nephew Paul Maley and his wife, Karianna, and their children Marty, Anneli and Finnbar of Eltham, Victoria, Australia.
Funeral arrangements were pending

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Check out my new site...


I have been getting hit up by so many people asking why I not had any updates, check out my all new site, and subscribe....Holla @ Cha...

http://uppityworld.com

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Times Square crowds may break records

By DAVID B. CARUSO, Associated Press Writer Sun Dec 31, 7:13 AM ET

NEW YORK - Hundreds of thousands of revelers were expected to flood Times Square on Sunday evening for a celebration that will attempt to wash away thoughts of world conflict with music, glitz and celebrity star power.
ADVERTISEMENT

Those who arrive will find New York City at what may be the peak of its prosperity and appeal to tourists.

With relatively warm temperatures in the low 40s expected, this year could be a record-breaker on several counts, organizers said. Crowds are expected to pack Broadway all the way to Central Park.

An unprecedented 3.5 tons of confetti will be dumped on the crowd during the evening. Visitors are expected to drop tens of millions of dollars on food, booze and souvenirs, capping what some are calling the city's busiest tourism year ever.

"When you think about five years ago, when we had our first New Year's Eve after 9/11, there were two questions on everyone's mind: Was there going to be another attack, and was New York going to make it?" said Tim Tompkins, president of the Times Square Alliance, which co-organizes the party.

"That's so far removed from where New York is now," he said.

Indeed. Rooms with a view of the square at Doubletree Guest Suites are going for $2,000 for this year's celebration.

Tables at Foley's Fish House, which has a panoramic view just above the crowd in the Marriott Renaissance New York Hotel, have sold out at a cost of between $750 and $1,000 per person for the evening, said Marriott spokeswoman Kathleen Duffy.

This year's celebration is shaping up to be a made-for-TV bonanza like never before.

More than a dozen major acts will perform on three different stages during the evening, including pop singer Christina Aguilera, the rap group Three 6 Mafia, country band Rascal Flatts, R&B singer Toni Braxton and the cast of the Broadway musical "Jersey Boys."

Lesser known entertainers will start performing as early as 6 p.m., when the famously flashy New Year's Eve Ball is raised to the top of a flagpole.

The explosion of live acts is a recent phenomenon, fueled by fierce competition for viewers by the television networks, several of which have arranged their own entertainment on their own stage.

"If you're actually here, you get nonstop entertainment for six hours, whereas a few years ago, you would literally sit there and chatter your teeth," said Tompkins.

Dick Clark will be back for ABC's "New Year's Rockin' Eve" broadcast for the second time since a stroke caused him to skip a broadcast in 2004.

His appearance last year was an abbreviated one in which he acknowledged that his illness had left him in "bad shape," but Clark's spokesman, Paul Shefrin, said the icon was doing better and planned to lead the countdown to midnight.

"As each day or each month goes by, he improves a bit," Shefrin said. "He looks forward to being on the air, and I hope that people feel the same way."

As usual, the pinnacle of the evening will be the drop of the ball at 11:59 p.m. to mark the last 60 seconds of 2006, followed by much cheering and kissing.

Security will be tightened in Times Square for the celebration. Revelers will have to pass through police checkpoints. No bags or backpacks will be permitted and bomb sniffing dogs will roam the crowd.

Public drinking is once again banned, and visitors will be corralled in a series of viewing pens that curtail their ability to bar hop until the show ends.

Mayor Michael Bloomberg said this week that revelers would be "safer in Times Square on New Year's Eve than anyplace else," but insisted that tight security will not spoil the show.

"The ball drops and people scream and the confetti comes down and the fireworks go up and the band plays. And it's just ... it's about as American and New York a thing as you can possibly do," he said.

"Come early," he added.

Saturday, December 30, 2006

my black queen....





i never met her, but she touched my life in so many ways. she was the type of woman i would want to marry if i were straight, she was a woman of class style and defiance, and we lost her in 2006. Coretta Scott King ,the widow of the late martin luther kind died january 30th 2006, at a clinic in baja california, mexico, from complications caused my ovarian cancer. after she died i did more and more extensive research into her, and i have found that she stood for so many things beyond what is often reported. as a young black gay man i often struggle with acceptance especially from the older black community, and she stressed the importance of equality, often pointing out that discrimination and not allowing gays the same rights was the exact same as segregation to africanamericans prior to the civil rights movement. i know i said the last was my final entry, but this was on my mind...

the best is yet to come, goodbye 2006.....



2006 will be over in less than 48 hours, and here i am closing out yet another chapter in my autobiography. 2006 had a pretty rocky start, dealing with personal problems, and struggling to find myself. in January i spent most of the moth sick with a bad cold, and my relationship was on the frits. however i managed to rediscover a spirital side of myself by finally becoming a member of brookhollow missionary baptist church (the church without walls) in houston, tx. in february i had to opportunity to travel to washington dc, for a conference that changed my life in so many ways, and i returned to tx with a new look on being a young african american gay man in america. i launched my company, started doing my own seminars, working in the community, and started to better myself overall as a person. my 18 month relationship with ed came to a horrible end, and that threw my world into complete chaos. when you have it set in your mind that you have to present yourself as happy when you really are not, yet you are in love, it fucks with you big time when you loose everything. one of the most important things i discovered is that one thing that looks a certain way on the outside is often so very different on the inside. i went to jail, and was released in july, while i was in jail for 3 weeks i had so much time to think about myself, others, and what i wanted to do with my life. i developed a better relationship with my family, eliminated a lot of extra people in my life, and focused more on me. i saw that graduating from college does not ensure stability nor comfort, it makes it harder if you don't have it, because you are left with so many questions of what-if and why in your head. i went to new york, and had a great time just relaxing courtesy of mr. stanley. now here i am ready for graduate school, working, and making strides towards my ultimate goals in life. i am looking forward to 2007, so much change for the better. i am launching my website on january 1st 2007, where i will showcase many things from news, to politics, to my personal daily journal-blog, to interviews with the people everyone is talking about. i am also launching a new seminar series, and working with organizations on HIV-AIDS awareness in the black community, so i am extremely excited about that. in 2007 i will be moving to new york (or maybe another city) full time to pursue my dream of becoming a writer, and national advocate for human rights, and equality. i might have a small frame, but i have a loud voice. with the loss of many great people in my community over the past year i know that god has put me here on earth to fill someones' shoes, and i am blessed with the education, vocabulary, and mind to do it, and that is what i intend on doing. with this being said, this will probably be my last blogger entry on this site, i want all of you to come join me in the uppityworld....i will update this site maybe weekly with headlines from my new site www.uppityworld.com. may god bless you all, and have a happy and safe new year, see you in 2007 in the uppity world......

Friday, December 29, 2006

white women i love....






join me in the uppityworld.......



2006 has been a year i will never forget.....from embracing my sexuality, and claiming my truth, to finishing college, going through the most painful break up in my life, to finding new opportunities, friends, and passions, it has been one hell of a year. this will be my last entry on this site, as i embark on my new mission with my new website uppityworld.com. i am launching a new site with more information, photos, news, my blog, and just something new for my people. to all of my avid visitors i hope you will join me in the uppityworld daily, and give me your input. i am very excited about my upcoming year. i am looking forward to my website, touring the country giving lectures to people about the importance of acceptance and equality. i will travel more, i am moving to a different place, and i think this will be the start of many great new chapters in my life and i am excited....i invite you all to join me in the uppityworld......

back in the closet....



today i was @ copy corner, and i noticed people looking out of the front door, then all of a sudden people started running, and screaming for us to get into the closet. it was tornado. now even me being the person i am don't often think about shit like that. it was only a matter of seconds and i saw shit flying and total chaos. the even more fucked up thing is while i was in the closet i was attempting to call those closet to me, and no one picked up their phones, some were dead some just didn't anwser, and all i could do besides pray was to remember how awful it was to be in the closet. the storm passed over, like so many things, but it made me change my views on lots of things. i can only imagine how the people in new orleans felt in august of 2005. when in just split second thier lives were forever changed by mother natures' bitch ass. i promise the way that bitch acts she is probally a black woman....lol...but on the reals i am glad to be here, and it goes on my list of life experinces....but it has made me realize how much i hated being in the closet....lol









Tuesday, December 26, 2006

my lone star christmas....






yesterday was my 21st Christmas, and as much as Christmas get different, they stay the same. this year was a little bit different. my family went all out this year for Christmas, and i loved every bit of it even though i was a bit of a Grinch. the day started at my mom's house, i woke up, and went to my sister's to open gifts with my nephew Ben. we spent the middle of the day at my grandparents house (mom's ppl) that is always a trip because we talk about everything. it was funny how my uncle the pastor kept referring to gay men as punks, and how he kept pointing out how much he was not a punk. you see that is how my family deals with things, i am sure they all know i am gay, but they never talk about it directly, yet it still comes up, and i have grown so much i don't even get offended anymore....i ended the day with a trip to my other side of the family's house, where i saw a few of my cousins, and ended the night with a trip to my father's to deliver him food, and all that good stuff.....my Christmas was fine, i am truly blessed, to know the true meaning of the holidays, which is bigger and more important than any ipod, car, $300 pair of jeans, and something that no wrapping paper can wrap. it is a bout understand the birth of Christ, and being around they ones you love, and the ones that love you.......

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

gone, but never forgotten...





"The Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want he make me lye down in the green pastures, As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, thous art with me...."

Bethany Norwood, the PAMU Cheerleader who was injured in a 2004 accident, has died, she was 24.

Norwood broke her neck in six places leaving her paralysed from her neck down, however she still returned to school, and graduated from PVAMU. I didn't know her personally, but I along with the across the nation knew her story. Everyone has their own story, but all of that is not important anymore. One thing I did remember about her is the strength to go own despite her paralysis she continued on, going to classes, eating in the msc, and being a normal panther like the rest of us. I am glad that she had the chance to do what she came to Prairie View A&M University to do, get a degree, and leave some type of mark. We know that she is in a better place now, away from a world of uncertain, and so much pain in many shapes, forms and sizes. I ask that everyone please keep her family in your prayers, and just remember how precious this thing we call life is, and how in a heartbeat if can change or be gone......We bleed purple and gold for her, she may not be with us physically, but she will forever be with us in our panther hearts....

Additional Links About Bethany....

Black College Newswire Story

http://www.tirr.org/press/96.php

http://www.kvue.com/news/state/stories/121206kvuepvamucheerleader-cb.181b97f.html

Sunday, December 10, 2006

my new site...


okay guys i am developing my new site, which is on my list of things i am trying to have done by the end of the year. it is under construction, but feel free to check it out and i will post on here as sson as i get everything taken care of with the construction of the page....


the real world and the "N' word...

growing up mtv's the real world was one of my favorite tv shows. i particularly enjoyed the miami season. i fell off for the past couple of year, however with a little bit of additional time, and a new dvr i have tuned in to the new season in denver. on the first episode i was excited to see that there were going to be two black men which is something almost unheard of on reality shows unless they pertain to sports or endurance. Well of course there is a lil gay white boy, and i was feeling him for a little while. The black guy from Howard had the worst reaction to the topic of homosexuality, and i was disgusted by his entire take on the situation of having a adult homosexual roommate. He even made a statement about how if his frat brothers knew that they had a gay member they would kick them out, "how many punk greeks do we know guys??" but that is a different topic. in last weeks episode the gay white guy gets drunk, the jock black guy from omaha, turns into a stupid thug, and goes into a rage, and the little gay calls him a nigger, it even made me say DAMN! okay with all that has been said over the past three weeks with the "n" word as it is often referred to, i am finally ready to speak on it. honestly i m not as offended by being called a nigger "i am a black boy from the south so i have been called it a FEW times..." as i am being called a faggot or homo by a straight person. That lead to me ask the question as i gay before i am black? i answer i am both.....my personal opinion is that we all have some type of prejudice especially when it comes to race. as young black men and women most of us are raised not to trust white people, we often try to act like we are cool, and can all coexist peacefully. i hate to hear black people talk about oppression, and reparations, yet they still treat the black homosexual community the same way white people have treated us all of our lives, so in many ways i feel like i am several minorities. do i think it is wrong for a white comedian to use the "n" word, and get away with it? hell no it's not right, but at the same time all my black borthas and sistas myself included need to stop using the word all together. we cannot expect others to respect us by not using a word if we still use it sometimes several times in one sentence......and that's just the TEA.....

Thursday, December 07, 2006

january will be crazy...


okay so i will be starting grad. school at nyu next month, however i will be staying in TX and just flying up for class meetings, and doing my education via distance learning. with school, and launching my seminar tours, i will be a busy lil brotha...so far this is what the schedule is looking like..



21-23.dec.06 new orleans for new orleans bowl
24-28.dec.06 - christmas with my family in tx
28.dec-2.jan.07 - new years in nyc
15-19. jan.07 - first week of class meeting in nyc @ nyu
23.jan.07 - seminar @ texas southern university. houston, tx
24.jan.07 - seminar @ lamar university. beaumont, tx
25-29.jan.07 - honda battle of the bands atlanta, ga (my mini vacation)
29. jan.07 - seminar @ southern university & a&m college. baton rouge, la
30.jan.07 new york

"a brotha will have some good ass ff miles..."

christmas cards....

i have been working on my x-mas greetings this year. since graduation was no big deal i have decided to include my graduation announcement inside my x-mas cards, 8 months late huh, feels like getting money from pvamu to pay tuition. other than that today was pretty much a slow day...

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

mentors, more than friends...highly respected individuals....

Angela: i met angela harvey in dc, she is a synamic person that motivates from the heart via personal experinces. she has the humor, and love in that favriote auntie kind of way...i love her to death...

Danni: I met Danielle while i was shopping in rice village one day. she has offered me some of the best non judgmental advice i have ever gotten in my life, and i a forever grateful to know her, and have the relationship we have..... Marlon: the awakenings movement, awakenings movement is something that one cannot put in words, but it is powering and dynamic... marlon is awesome, i first met him at fish grits and politiks, and since then he has been one of my role models, like danni he offers non judgemental advice, and advises from the heart....check them out... Maurice....damn...what else can i saw. i first met him in dc at the hrc hbcu conference earlier this year, i then got a chance to speak with him at the dallas premier of his film dirty laundry. maurice is a kind hearted, genuine brotha doing his thing with the films, and i give him madd love and respect.... Jonathan: well for a while he has been a huge inspiration to me. i first saw him a couple of years on a bet special, and the one thing that stood out the most was he said he loved starbucks. i listened to his story, and i always wanted to contact him. well i was able to meet him via facebook, and my space, now we chat daily, and he is truly a inspiration to many gay men of color. i know that he and his message will go far, and many will listen.....love ya friend... Brandon: one of the most positive impacts in my life in general. brandon serves as the diversity chair for the HRC, and under the small fashionable frame, is a loud voice, and huge advocate. brandon is like a gay father to me, he give me the best advice, will fly in to meet with me when i need anything, and always stays on top of me about claiming my truth. he is one of the driving forces behind my new seminar series, and i am am truly honored to know him and be close to him... Darian: okay i met this awesome brotha while looking through blogs one day, and i must say this lil brotha is fabulous. i respect him the most for giving almost everyone the benefit of the doubt all the time. he inspired me to walk out on faith, and do what is best for me. he has an awesome blog also....this is a new friendship i cherish a lot also.... JL King: okay to the man that blew the top off the dl thing, i disliked him because of what i have heard about him and his vies in the past, and i was fortunate to meet him in november, and see for myself. j.l is great, he spoke on the issues, and afterwards had a conversation with me about several things, and even called me when he got back to the atl. i have a new found respect for him, and i am glad to have had the opportunity to have been in his presence, and look forward to working with him.... HRC HBCU CONFERENCE ATTENDEES 2006: to my fellow HRC HBCU brothas and sisters , so many of you inspired me in so many ways, it felt good to be around people like myself. we discussed issues, and opened up to one another, and left with life long friendships, and bonds....


well for you to have respect from me is a huge thing. i very rarely meet people that touch me in special ways, but just being themselves. i have been fortunate to meet many individuals in 2006 that have touched me and my life in many ways, and made me want to claim my own truth. you see i came out to my family at age 16, i was young confused. i am so glad that god stepped in and turned me into the young man i am today. i was on the path to getting caught up in what the world has to offer for young gay men of color, living a unsafe life of fraud, and just being a very cold, and alone individual. i was a student at my high school where i was constantly harassed, bullied, and made fun of because of who i was. i stopped going to school, and was ordered by a judge in november of 2001 to get my GED. i got my ged, and planned to go back to high school, but then decided to try my luck at college. i was accepted to more than 15 school with my ged, sat, act, scores, letting of recommendation, and my essays, including Howard University, Morehouse, Georgia Tech, Southern Methodist University, Texas A&M University, and the University of Texas, yet i choose Prairie View A&M University. i entered pvamu in the summer of 2002, and told myself i would never look back. four years later, here i am a man, once a confused boy, i am now an educated black man, claiming my truth, and making strides forward to impact my community in ways i know only i can. i have not made it this far without help and wisdom from many important people from community leaders, to family and friends...and for this i give these individuals a great amount of respect...

you do you, and i will do TEA...

making everyday world aids day....


the world has never seen anything like the growing HIV-AIDS epidemic. as all of you should know last friday december 1st was world aids day, but i had a probelm with that. i watch cnn 24-7, 365, and i was happy that they ran so many stories about hiv, and unlike in the 1980's when many ignored hiv-aids, we have come a long way, but there is so much that needs to be done to ensure that those that come after us can live long healthy lives. i did my best to take some pictures of places, people and events that i thought did a great job at reconigising the importace of awareness. hiv and aids has affected me in many ways, and it was not until i went to a funneral of someone i knew that passed due to complications of aids, that i realized just how serious this is. it is more to this global pandemic than telling people to use condoms, and handing out lube at pride events, its about edcuating our communities, mainly our ineer city, rural, and hbcu communities about the importance of understanding, and accepting hiv, knowing the risks, and knowing what a dionosis intels. it's about teaching our black women that every black man is not sleeping with another man, and that is the only way you can get it. it is about more than wearing pins, getting press time, and looking cute in red. it is not about looking down or treating our infected peers any differently, but making them feel welcome to talk about it, and help with the education of others. we all may not be infected, but we all are affected. with this being said from me i will be launching my seminars in the spring where i am going to go into communities and speak educating them about acceptance, euallity, and education in general. if i can speak at a college or university and have one black woman gain trust for a good black man she has at home, and make them get tested together to anwser questions she might have, then my job is complete....i have been blessed with knowledge, education, good health, and a voice and i am going to do my part to make everyday world aids day....

what are bestfreinds for?









okay so it was my best friend's birthday november 29th 2006, and i wanted to make it special...he had stated that he wanted a stripper, and a nice dinner, so that is what he got...you see not many people would understand our unique bond, however we understand each other in so many ways. more than once he has been there for me in so many ways, always offering the best in advice, possible solutions, and to ruff some people up if i need him to. the most important thing is he is supportive in everything i do including my new plans for the year. it feels good to have a best friend that you can actually have complex conversations about everything from women's studies, to African-American history, to TV and film. i have never had a friend i could be open with, invite to my home to chill with my family, and attend classy events with... i think best friends are people that god put in our lives to be there when he is handling everything else. his party was great, we ate, talked, had drinks, then went back to his house for cake and stripping, it was a great night enjoy the photos....


catching up...


okay last week was a long one, but turned out to be very rewarding....it was my last week of classes in my first semester of grad school at UH, I ended up finishing with a 4.0, so i am hella happy, i will be one to the next with a great record...last wednesday was my best friend brandon's 23rd birthday, and i felt with all he has done for me this year the least i could do was throw him a TX sized celebration, to show him people care and love him...work was great we are so busy with the holiday season here, but the people for the most part are cool, and i am adjusting to the job pretty well. with my job alone that shows how much my mind has developed. i never saw myself with two degrees working @ a copy shop, but honestly i am happy, it's a personal job, i wear what i want, pretty much come and go as i please, and i can be myself. i spoke with my boss, after he wrote a note on my paycheck last week saying "t, we are delighted to have you with us...keep up the great work...", when i saw that, the feelings that i was just the little black token queer boy were gone. when you get a job and they know you are gay, and you are the only black male there you have a few questions, but all of them kinda come and go... when i first interviewed for the job i was asked "looking at your experience and resume` you are over qualified and even in undergrad you were making about two time more than we would be able to pay you." i simply replied that i am currently trying to "find myself and my way" and make a name, and life for myself, and i wanted to have a minimal stress job, and be able to relax, focus on my big move, and getting myself together mentally, and i was hired because of my energy and spirit...so we will see how this plays out, there are still a few things, i am slowly realizing that white people just don't really understand us black people, but who can we blame for that???

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Doing Better Y'all...

okay i am working on a new entry....i have been hella busy, but i am working on developing my new website....

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Ugly Betty.....




my favorite show ugly betty on abc is the season hottest new show. i love the show for many reasons, but mainly for the purpose of watching betty's nephew Justin, who in my personal opinion clearly gay, and something that we have needed on tv for a long time. in today's' society many children are discovering themselves and their sexuality at young ages.

on last weeks episode the mother of justin confronted the father, and told her that the most important thing was for him to be comfortable with himself, not one of these stereotypical teenage boys playing sports, and things of that nature. justin has a great fashion sense, he is so talented in many ways, and reminds me of myself in many ways. so much speculation has been throwing around on blogs, and even wikipedia about his sexuality, but it is quite clear to everyone what the writers intentions are....tea says it's a hit.....

'Ugly Betty' looks good

By Scott D. Pierce
Deseret Morning News

If you were to run into America Ferrera, you'd see a cute, bubbly, attractive young woman. But if you were looking for the star of "Ugly Betty," you'd never recognize her.
"I take that as a compliment," Ferrera said.
In "Ugly Betty" (7 p.m., Ch. 4), she plays a fish out of water. Betty Suarez is an extremely intelligent young woman who's hoping for a career at a magazine like Fortune and ends up at fashion magazine Mode — and only because publishing tycoon Bradford Meade (Alan Dale of "The O.C.") hires her as the personal assistant to his womanizing son, Daniel (Eric Mabius), the new editor, because he knows Daniel won't want to sleep with Betty.
Betty isn't ugly, although the bad glasses and braces don't help, but she really just doesn't care about the whole fashionista world she's found herself a part of. Betty is an absolute delight — a character you can instantly fall in love with and root for.
"When I'm in character and I'm wearing Betty's costume, I feel more confident, more beautiful, and more pretty on the inside than when I'm myself," Ferrera said. "When I'm Betty, there's a light that shines from the inside."

There are some parallels between Ferrera and Betty. Even though she's a very attractive woman who — compared to most of us — is a svelte little thing, she ends up playing "big" girls in movies like "Real Women Have Curves" and "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants" because she's not a size zero.
"I didn't even know I was fat until I started acting. I didn't know how fat and ugly I was until I started going on auditions," said Ferrera, who is neither. "To me it seems like the roles that mean something ... are roles that are flawed and the roles that nobody else wants to play."
I've got to think that a lot of actresses would have loved to star in "Ugly Betty" — it's an almost magical hour that's full of humor, mystery, hardships and triumph. Based on a Colombian telenovela, it's sort of a surreal world populated by heroes and villains — most notably the evil Wilhelmina (Vanessa Williams), who wants Daniel's job — and a mystery about what really happened to the late (maybe) Fey Sommers, Mode's former editor.
At home in middle-class Queens, Betty is surrounded by a loud, loving family (Tony Plano as her father; Ana Ortiz as her sister; Mark Indelicato as her nephew); at work in Manhattan she's swimming with sharks (although she does find friends).
For Ferrera, playing Betty "takes away the pressure on me as an actress. I'm not a model. I never wanted to be a model. ... That's not what I set out in my life to do."
"I set out to tell stories. I set out to represent real people. And to me, Betty is the most beautiful opportunity that's ever come across my path to represent a whole generation of young women who don't recognize themselves in anything they're watching. Whether it be magazines or TV or movies, they're invisible. And to me, it's an honor to take on this role. I love, love, love being her."



TERRENCE HOWARD: Just Styling & Profiling
By Karu F. Daniels, AOL Black Voices
How you doinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?
Academy Award nominated actor Terrence Dashon Howard is featured as the new Man Of Style in the Dec. issue of 'In Style' magazine, which arrived on newsstands, nationally, today.
In the fashionably savvy spread, the 37-year old 'Hustle & Flow' actor hustles to find his "purse" during the interview and also reveals he loves brooches, scarves and floral body wash.
Not on a woman -- but on him.
"Color seduces and calms people," the "soft-spoken" Howard said. "I can’t see a man in pink starting a fight."
Ummmmmmmmmmmm.
"It's limited," the Chicago native said about men's style. "I went to the fashion Oscars, the CFDAs. All of the men were wearing black. We need more options than black, blue and gray… If I had the time to design my own clothes, I would."
Howard is entirely too busy working on his film career, which includes a repertoire of countless movies from the Academy Award winning fare such as 'Crash' to box-office clunker 'Idlewild.' Just a few weeks ago, while flipping the channels, I caught a scene from 1996's ambitious 'Sunset Park,' which he starred in. The Chicago native has been at it for quite some time (he broke into acting on 'The Cosby Show' in 1984). And it's finally paying off.
The in-demand actor has a slew of films in the pike, including the forthcoming 'Pride' and 'August Rush.'
The newly single father of three also talked about OPRAH WINFREY ("She doesn’t talk about how much power she has; she's just Oprah. She's got a great figure and she dresses appropriately. She's always a great role model"); BEING FAT ("I remember a time when I weighed 205 pounds. My face was fat and stomach was bulgy. I was eating and enjoying life."); BLING ("The minute you put on that kind of jewelry, people can't relate to you" and SPLURGING ("I paid off the mortgage for my house in Philadelphia. Other than that, I don't splurge. I'm not into that").
And of course the contents of THAT DAMN PURSE ("I've got to have my cell phone, which I hate. Some lotion for my hands. Lip balm. A comb-- I use an old pick. And a breath freshener.")
For real now, how are you doinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn?
Or more like, How you been?
Ha!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

o how time changes life....

here it is the day before the day we give thanks...and i am so thankful for this special gift i have called "life".... this time last year i was running around houston, tx looking for a honey baked ham to take home for thankgiving, and ready to get home to eat. i was in love, i had a friends, and i was looking forward to my last semeter in college. i thought i had it all, i had a boyfriend that most would kill for, a new car, a bad ass apartment, and i seemed to be happy in every scense of the word, but little did i know my life was about to take many drastic turns.... i was looking forward to the holiday season this year, i was supposed to be engaged by now, picking out floor plans for a new house, and planning my huge reception, and filling out paper work to change my last name....however i am here home with my family, and taking soooo many steps forward in a positive way. i am no longer in that realtionship, and the entire break up was sooo mentally, and physically draining on my mind body, and soul, that i am glad god has given me the courage to move on. i am home now where i need to be dealing with real issues, and becomeing the man i need to be in order to be successful. i have a job i love, i am around family for the most part that i can stand, i am finically stable, and i am embarcing one of the biggest moves in my life, from TX to NYC.... i feel like for the first time in a while i am living, living with few regrets, and knowing that i am going far in life. i have developed a standard of life that i want to live, and i am making the preperations to ensure that i have a successful, long and great life...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

dear santa or whoever can afford this shit....






someone told me it was takkie to create a wishlist when you are grt i don't give a shit people cannot use the lame ass excuse of not knowing what you wanted or what size, or what color, so i am about to squash all that shit now!!!

Terrance's Holiday 2006 Wishlist......

Well you know I am moving to NYC, so anything you can think of to help with my move from clothes to gift cardz to help decorate the crib....

fav colors: RED,PINK,BLACK

size: pants 28-30 inch waist, 32 length
shoe size: 11
style: preppy baby...
books: anything dealing with men of color will do
shirts: i am into the solid polos, and cute fitted tees, along with ties & bow-ties
I have also included some pictures for you viewing pleasure.....

i am now a proud NYU-er.....





well I was accepted a while back, now i have my spring schedule for graduate school at nyu. i will stay here in TX until midspring and then make my full move to NYC. I am enrolled in 9 hours via distance learning, and i will have to commute to nyc 2-3 times monthly for class meetings, and too meet with group members...... i still find it hard to believe that after not even putting the much effort into academics, i still came out on top, and everything has truly been a blessing... the time i spend here in tx i will do my community serivce, and save money to make the transition to new york little easier....

Saturday, November 18, 2006

spoiled rotten.....







life experiences can change us, and we might not even know it. take myself for example, i have been back in my hometown for about two months, while i make all of the necessary preparations to move to new york for graduate school. i decided a while back that i was going to make some major changes in my life, and i must say i am feeling the exact from the changes i have made. i told myself i was going to just go with the flow, and enjoy life as a whole not just select units of it. i told myself i was going to embrace my life more, and build better relationships with people particularly my family and closet friends. i went through a horrible break up which i am still feeling the effects from, and still seeing the vi sable, and emotional wounds it left behind. my relationship with my mother has always been close, however when i left to go to college 4 years ago a lot changed. i started to develop my own thoughts, started to mole myself into the type of young black man i wanted to be, and move forward at a fast pace. well here we are 4 years later, i have a few relationships behind me, and a head full of more knowledge of just how the world, and people in general operate. for example i returned to the main campus this past week to see jl king speak, and walking around i honestly did not miss my alma matter. there were still the little tired desperate boys walking around looking at me like i was stupid. upon return home i have lenghty conversation with my other best friend jack, who is a senior at pvamu. he told me that his theory for why most hate me, is not because of my attitude, he said "terrance it is because they are not you". he told me that looking at me and really knowing me he understands how my mind works, he told me he understood most of my views, and i can come off as being rough around the edges until you get to know me.... i am a openly gay black man living in tx with a voice, and not many people can say that. i have a equal balance of gay and straight friends, and most importantly i have a i don't give a fuck attitude. if i see something i want, from a prada bag, to a university i want to attend, to a bowl of soup I GET IT AT ANY COST.... I believe that that entire attitude comes from my mother. with the lost of my father at an early age my mother did a great job making sure her "baby" was supported in everything, and well taken care of at any cost, and i will forever be grateful to her for that. looking at my life i could clearly see why others who pass judgement on me and my life without knowing me. when you have a world with so many small minded individuals then you get this kind of shit... being home has really made me become more humble in different ways, my mother and i still bump heads about simple culture issues, she is comfortable with her life, and sometimes does not understand mine, but i just have to explain to her that as much as she wants to be in my generation she is still old skool...when i look back 4 months ago i didn't know where my life was going. i had no vision, and i never thought that coming home to regroup would be so rewarding. i have come home to many business opportunities, a new job i love, and home cooked meals multiple times a week. most importantly for the first time in my life i feel like i am free to be terrance, not the flashy, label wearing, outspoken token queer boy, but the same outspoken, relaxed, original boy from bryan, tx.....so when people call me a spoiled brat, that is one of the few names besides the ones on my birth certificate, that i will answer to....

Thursday, November 16, 2006

my encounter with J.L. King...




last week i found out through campus mail that j.l. king the new york time bestselling author was going be giving a lecture at my alama matter prairie view a&m university. i spoke with brandon, and we decided since he would be this close to us we would go see what the brotha had to say. i must say from hearing from people that had heard him speak, people that read the books, over all i had a tainted image of him. i figured that he was just one of these guys who has gotten rich over typical situations. i was told that he did not call himself or other men that have sex with men and maintain hetorosexual relationships with women gay. i figured that he was going to be cocky becasue he is the poster man, and the man that blew the top off this whole dl shit. by sunday i had decided i was not going to attend, however brandon soon convinced me that with me wanting to be the big time journalist, and blogger i needed to attend. i still refused to by the book, so while i was at work i copied a image from his website, and had it mounted and laminated, to get an autograph. we arrived on campus quite early i was able to walk around, and mix and mingle with people i had not seen since before gradaution. we went into the auditourm and found some seats, i had a bad feeling in my stomach, looking around the room i noticed so many black women, old and young, and many professionals from the university itself. now i an known for having a bit of a loose mouth in event like this so, so many people had told me to hold my thoughts, and please not do nor say anything i would regret. the sga introduced him, and he stepped onto the stage, everyone in the room was paying close attention to what was being said. he started off telling us about his background, not going much into his personal life, he told us about how he ws first discovered, and how he and oprah first met. he told us about doing the oprah show, and how much it changed everything. then he got to the knitty gritty, he broke down statistics about hiv and aids in the black community, and how it was destroying our communities in africa, and if we were not careful, we in the united states, the richest country in the world would end up like some of the third world countries where so many children are parentless die to aids. he went on to tell others to accept our fellow gays, and that in the world they would have to encountor gays in some way or another. he told us that it was about respect for each other....and then it was time for the question and anwser session...well with everything that had been diccussed the questions i was going to ask, had been anwsered. so when i started to hear all of the other questions, i decided to ask mine...i was please with the response i got in return. afterwards a pastor got up and decided that he was going to "enlighten" him on a few things, at that point i got up and walked out of the room, all the way down the main coridor of the student center to the oppisite end. with everything that had happened with religion and homosexuallity i was not at all in the mood for that. i walked back and was able to catch king's response which shut the pastor up, and the crown went wild. afterwards the book signing was in the lobby...i stood in line, with brandon, and once we got up to the table we had conversations with him about how actually hearing him had changed both our minds, and we were so glad we got a chance to hear words from his mouth, not what everyone else was saying. he told me hat he wanted to work with me on some things, and even return to campus soon. i gave him a card, and he told me he would be in touch. i am so glad i went, it was a great event, i felt so much differently than i had walking in......

Saturday, November 11, 2006

desperate homosexuals....(PVAMU EDITION)

i live a life based on simplicity, partly because of the people i have chosen to stay away from. someone recently asked me "since you went to pvamu, you made some great friends huh?" i simply told them no i didn't because i was extremely selective when it came to friendships because of the fake and fraud that goes on in this community. in life i tell others they can take me for what i am or have nothing at all. i have been in the gay community for about 5 years, and i have seen so many people do so much underhanded shit, i have seen so many friendships destroyed, and seen so many people hurt, as well as been hurt myself. when i arrived at pvamu i found myself being one of those people who other didn't like, because i was outspoken, proud of every aspect of my character mentally, and physically, and i didn't conform to what society says a black man is supposed to be... after coming out to my mother five years ago i decided that i was going to live a life of pride in every way. i could not get along with so many of the other gay boys at pvamu because i felt and still feel so many of them were fake, phony, and fraud in many ways. many of them will throw rocks, and then hide their hands. pvamu, and college in general was not a new thing to me, growing up my mother cultured me and allowed me a lot of freedom, and she was one of the realest when it came to parents. so many young african-american gay men fear what others are going to think, yet they make themselves look stupid by doing stupid shit. they swear that society cannot "clock" them yet they are such little queens. when you decide not to talk to them because you fear mess, you are stuck up. they see you everyday on the yard, and don't speak, but when they see you far away from the yard, then they act as if you go back to charm school or some shit. during my time in undergrad my main focus was to get in, get out, and have a little fun in the meantime. i made many associations with many people, but not many were with members of my gay male community. i could tell, and still could tell the people that got to college and got the only bit of freedom they ever had in life. so let me break it down....

desperate homosexuals:

- they pile into a small living arrangement, and live in sometimes even clean, but deplorable conditions....i.e. illegal residents in the village, or more than two people in a one bedroom apt.

- they see you everyday on the yard, don't speak as if you don't exist, but break their necks to speak to you at the club or in the mall

- they scream and holla out about the lord, have parents that are very religious, yet they are the biggest whores on the yard

- they use the bsm to hide the fact that they are gay, when everyone with anyone with any type of common sense knows that most males members fuck around...

- they stay @ pvamu for years, and years, without a technical major

- they think hitting up american eagle, express, and abercrombie is doing it big, but have yet to go on a real shopping spree

- they have no mode of transportation, yet they want to look at you crazy when you pull up in your shit

- they live on campus just for the boys

- they smile in you face yet know that they really don't like you...

- they get mad at you for being comfortable with yourself, and not taking shit from anyone

- they are usually cool with members of the straight community hoping to pull and turn ni99as out....

- THEY ARE JUST A FUCKING MESS.....

if anyone got offended by any of the above listed then i could care less, i am just spilling the tea.....

Friday, November 10, 2006

R&B singer Gerald Levert dead at 40


(CNN) -- Gerald Levert, the R&B singer whose hits included "I Swear" and "I'd Give Anything," as well as chart-toppers with the groups LeVert and LSG, has died, according to his label, Atlantic Records. He was 40.
Levert died of a heart attack Friday at his Cleveland, Ohio, home, according a statement from Atlantic.
"He was one of the greatest voices of our time, who sang with unmatched soulfulness and power, as well as a tremendously gifted composer and an accomplished producer," the statement read. "Above all, he was an exceptional human being whose warmth and grace inspired us all."
Levert, the son of O'Jays member Eddie Levert Sr., first hit it big with his sibling Sean and friend Marc Gordon as the trio LeVert in the mid-'80s. The group's hits included the 1987 song "Casanova," which hit the Top Five on the pop charts.
Gerald Levert went solo in 1991. His hits included a duet with his father, "Baby Hold On to Me."
In 1997 he and singers Johnny Gill and Keith Sweat formed LSG. The group's self-titled album sold more than two million copies, and their hits included "My Body."
More recent albums by Levert included 2002's "The G Spot" and 2004's "Do I Speak for the World."
His most recent album was 2005's "Voices."
Levert had four children.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

finding my way...

why is it sometime that the thing we fear the most turns out to be the best thing for us in the end?? after my horrible last break up earlier this year i was left feeling so empty and incomplete. i mean i was with this person, and i saw a life with them, i sketched and did blue prints for a house on autocad, we had cars, bank accounts, credit cards, and my family like him. i cultured him, showed him vic and anthonys, when he was used to the golden corral, i upgraded him brom ross dress for less to foley's (now macys), and club monnaco. i had a love for him, that i cannot put into words, so when he left like he did, and did the things he did i din't know how to take it, and i didn't take it well. i cried for days and night, abandoned our apartment, and avoided those most close to me. i thought would never be able to love again. during the entire summer my life was just one depressing thing after another...i even ended up in jail. while i was in jail i had a lot of time to think, i thought a lot about loving myself, and who were really the most important people in my life. i knew that when i got out of jail i needed to turn my life into something good, something powerful, and love would be the last thing on my mind. my family showed me how much they loved me, when i was released they were there to bring me home, i spent a week at home eating good food, and readjusting to my new life. i returned to houston, to another ex just for the sake of having someone sleep next to me at night, but i was not the kind of person he wanted. he wanted me to be submissive, and take his shit, and i was tired of that. i started graduate school at u of h and decided i maybe need to venture away from houston. i started to brainstorm places, atlanta, nope too typical, dc maybe, NYC YES!!!! i decided to attend nyu for graduate and after advice from many i knew that it would be good for me. i decided to return home to spend time with my family before i left, and i mustsay that was the best decision of 2006. i am here now with my mother and sibling, and i am enjoying myself. my mother and i are getting back to normal, my brother and i still have disagreements, but i just take them for what they are, and i love my crazy ass big sister to death... it feels good to be done with college, able to relax around family and not have to always worry about so much stress. in houston i was sooooo stressed over so much shit that i could not even control. i have found love, i have 3 job...yes 3 jobs, to save for my move, and i am loving life for the first time in forever.....

60 Minutes' Ed Bradley Dead At 65


(CBS) Veteran 60 Minutes correspondent Ed Bradley died Thursday at Mount Sinai Hospital in Manhattan of complications from leukemia.

Bradley joined the staff of the venerable news magazine 26 years ago. His consummate skills as a broadcast journalist and his distinctive body of work were recognized with numerous awards, including 19 Emmys, the latest for a segment that reported the reopening of the 50-year-old racial murder case of Emmett Till.

In a special report, CBS Evening News anchor and managing editor Katie Couric said Bradley was "considered intelligent, smooth, cool, a great reporter, beloved and respected by all his colleagues here at CBS News."

"He certainly was a reporter's reporter," fellow 60 Minutes correspondent Mike Wallace told CBS News Radio.

Bradley was honored with the Lifetime Achievement award from the National Association of Black Journalists. Three of his Emmys came at the 2003 awards: a Lifetime Achievement Emmy; one for a 60 Minutes report on brain cancer patients, "A New Lease on Life;" and another for his hour on 60 Minutes II about sexual abuse in the Catholic Church, “The Catholic Church on Trial."

Bradley’s 60 Minutes interview with condemned Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh was the only television interview ever given by the man guilty of one of the worst terrorist acts on American soil; it also earned Bradley an Emmy.

His reporting on the worst school shooting in American history, "Columbine" (April 2001), revealed on 60 Minutes II that authorities ignored telling evidence with which they might have prevented the massacre.

Other hour-long reports by Bradley prompted praise and action: "Death by Denial" won a Peabody Award for focusing on the plight of Africans dying of AIDS and helped convince drug companies to donate and discount AIDS drugs; "Unsafe Haven" spurred federal investigations into the nation's largest chain of psychiatric hospitals; and "Town Under Siege," about a small town battling toxic waste, was named one of the Ten Best Television Programs of 1997 by Time magazine.

Bradley's significant contribution to electronic journalism was also recognized by the Radio/Television News Directors Association when it named him its Paul White Award winner for 2000. He joined other distinguished journalists, such as Edward R. Murrow, Walter Cronkite and Peter Jennings, as a Paul White recipient.

More recently, the Denver Press Club awarded him its 2003 Damon Runyon Award for career journalistic excellence. Bradley also received the prestigious Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Awards grand prize and television first prize for "CBS Reports: In the Killing Fields of America" (January 1995), a documentary about violence in America, for which he was co-anchor and reporter.

His work on 60 Minutes has gained much recognition, including a George Foster Peabody Award for "Big Man, Big Voice" (November 1997), the uplifting story of a German singer who became successful despite birth defects. In 1995, he won his 11th Emmy Award for a 60 Minutes segment on the cruel effects of nuclear testing in the town of Semipalatinsk, Kazakhstan — a report that also won him an Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University Award in 1994.

Also in 1994, he was honored with an Overseas Press Club Award for two 60 Minutes reports that took viewers inside sensitive military installations in Russia and the United States. In 1985, he received an Emmy Award for "Schizophrenia," a 60 Minutes report on that misunderstood brain disorder.

In 1983, two of Bradley’s reports for 60 Minutes won Emmy Awards: "In the Belly of the Beast," an interview with Jack Henry Abbott, a convicted murderer and author, and "Lena," a profile of singer Lena Horne. He received an Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University Silver Baton and a 1991 Emmy Award for his 60 Minutes report "Made in China," a look at Chinese forced-labor camps, and another Emmy for "Caitlin’s Story" (November 1992), an examination of the controversy between the parents of a deaf child and a deaf association.

In addition to "In the Killing Fields," his work for "CBS Reports" included: "Enter the Jury Room" (April 1997), an Alfred I. duPont-Columbia University Award winner that revealed the jury deliberation process for the first time in front of network cameras; "The Boat People" (January 1979), which won duPont, Emmy and Overseas Press Club Awards; "The Boston Goes to China" (April 1979), a report on the historic visit to China by the Boston Symphony Orchestra, which won Emmy, Peabody and Ohio State Awards, and "Blacks in America: With All Deliberate Speed?" (July 1979), which won Emmy and duPont Awards.

Bradley's coverage of the plight of Cambodian refugees, broadcast on the CBS Evening News with Walter Cronkite and CBS News Sunday Morning, won a George Polk Award in journalism.

He also received a duPont citation for a segment on the Cambodian situation broadcast on CBS News' "Magazine" series. He covered the presidential campaign of Jimmy Carter during 1976, served as a floor correspondent for CBS News' coverage of the Democratic and Republican National Conventions from 1976 through 1996, and has participated in CBS News' election-night coverage.

Prior to joining 60 Minutes, Bradley was a principal correspondent for "CBS Reports" (1978-81), after serving as CBS News' White House correspondent (1976-78). He was also anchor of the "CBS Sunday Night News” (November 1976-May 1981) and of the CBS News magazine "Street Stories" (January 1992-August 1993).

Bradley joined CBS News as a stringer in its Paris bureau in September 1971. A year later, he was transferred to the Saigon bureau, where he remained until he was assigned to the CBS News Washington bureau in June 1974. He was named a CBS News correspondent in April 1973 and, shortly thereafter, was wounded while on assignment in Cambodia. In March 1975, he volunteered to return to Indochina and covered the fall of Cambodia and Vietnam.

Prior to joining CBS News, he was a reporter for WCBS-AM, the CBS-owned station in New York (August 1967-July 1971). He had previously been a reporter for WDAS-AM in Philadelphia (1963-67).

Bradley was born June 22, 1941, in Philadelphia and was graduated from Cheyney (Pa.) State College in 1964 with a B.S. in education.

©MMVI, CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

i'm so glad i went to pvamu...


well somethings never change, it seem that texas a&m university has gotten it's semesterly attack on the already scarce black community. i am currently searching for the youtube file at the center of this tasteless, horrbile joke or whatever the fuck it was supposed to be.... meanwhile here is the letter posted on the tamu website...



An Open Letter to the Aggie Family
November 7, 2006
Yesterday was a sad day for Texas A&M. It was brought to my attention that individuals who appear to be Aggie students had posted to a public web site a home-made video that is so utterly disgusting that, regardless of race, religion, or background, I believe virtually any member of our Aggie family would be outraged and ashamed if they viewed it. The content of the video is offensive on many levels and would be so to all Aggies, but is particularly insulting and hurtful to members of our Black community. The hateful video is not simply an example of poor judgment and insensitivity; it appears to have been purposefully produced to insult and demean. When one member of the Aggie family is insulted, we are all insulted. I find the content of the video inexcusable and I believe virtually all Aggies join me in that belief. I cannot fully express my disappointment and embarrassment that Texas A&M students may have been involved in this matter. While I respect and value the constitutional right to free speech, I can neither condone nor accept that right being disrespected in this manner. We believe we have identified the students allegedly involved in producing the video and are directing them to meet with Student Affairs officials to discuss their actions, as well as their future at Texas A&M. The university has already contacted the web host and demanded that the video be removed, and they have done so.The university will be hosting a community forum at 7 p.m. this evening in Rudder Tower, Room 601 to provide students, faculty and staff an opportunity to express their opinions about how the university moves forward and overcomes this disgraceful episode. In this vein, I applaud the editors of The Battalion for strongly condemning the actions of students whose behavior is counter to everything Aggies stand for -- loyalty, character, integrity and respect. I deeply regret that anyone was hurt by viewing the video, or simply knowing or hearing about it. At a time when Texas A&M is doing more than ever to attract, retain and graduate a diverse student body, the damage done by the insensitivity of two or three individuals is immeasurable. I am extremely disappointed by their behavior, but even more saddened by the hurt this might bring to many members of our campus and extended communities.Finally, I am truly outraged by this moronic video. Those who made it are no true Aggies, and I expect they will have to live with the consequences of their actions in this matter for a very long time.Robert M. Gates, President Texas A&M University

Friday, November 03, 2006

he can fix what is broke....











the mississippi mass chior sings the song he can fix what is broke, and it has inspired me in so many ways. for the past 4 months, i have been on a journey to find just exactly who i am. back in april i met brandon who i feel that GOD put in my life for a reason. i was going through a terrible break up, and just to much emotional stress and drama, i met this person who offered to help me in many ways, but most importantly just be there in a time of need. for the most part i am now able to admit things that i have not been able to admit in the past. i met brandon, and saw a man on the outside, but a boy on the inside, and i knew that he could help me as a friend as well as i could help him. it's been seven months, and i am closer to him than my own brother. the unique thing about brandon is he accepts me and i don;t have to put up a facade for him, he takes me as i am and wants nothing more. he explained so many things to me that once confused me. you see i grew up in a small town in a mostly single-parent house hold with a hard working mother who made sure i never had a want or need, but i was so unhappy. i was ashamed of who i was, where i came from, where ie lived and just my life in general, and for what reason i don't know. looking back i had so much more than all of those i thought had so much more than me. most of my childhood was spent in my room crying, and trying to decide how to cover lies that i told. i never invited friends over, and i made it my duty to hide everything about my personal life, and for what? on the other hand i met brandon, he came from the type of family i used to look at and want ot be a part of so much. i wanted my mom to marry some executive in a suit, move to pebble creek, and have a cleaning lady. brandon had all of this growing up but he explained to me that thing may appear one way on the outside, and be completely different on the inside...he said that in black america that is mostly a facade, that those families that we see like that are often disfunctional, and just a plain mess. part of growing up and becoming a man is to accept the hand that GOD deals us and find the bst way we can to play it on the table. i have a head full of knowledge, a parent that cares, the best best friend in the world, siblings, other family members, and a man who i love a adore so much, a boy could not ask for much more....

true love can not be expressed in words....





"the only time we don't speak is during sex & the city, I get carrie fever....."

i have had a few relationships in my time, but for the first time in my life i feel like i am truly in love. when you are 2000 miles away from your boyfriend, and you want to be with no one else, don' and not worry about him having wondering thoughts then that's love. in the past i have ahad a problem being who i really was for fears of acceptance, and not understanding the importance of true love. i have had those love me, i have been cheated on, i have done the cheating, i have been hurt, and i have hurt others. i have had the realtionships that i knew were not going to work, and just stayed in them to pass time, but i have realized something... life is too short and unpromising for us to be with someone or have soemthing that has us unhappy. over the past six month i have learned to love myself. when i was down and out, and had no one else except a bestfriend, someone from my past came into my life, and i truly feel that God bought us together once again. something if we sit back and wait, god will deliver us in more than one way. all the things i wanted in a dream guy i now have, i have me someone that can make me laugh, someone that i can have complex conversations with, someone who works hard, and dammit he even turned out to be a a kappa man.... the most important thing is he make me feel good in ways i cannot put into words, for the first time i feel like i have someone that is attempting to understand me, my thought process, and me in general, and for those of you that know me, know how hard that can be....kids, the upper westside apartment, and house in the hamptons are still a little way off, but the most important thing is i am happy, and i feel like i am free to be me for the first time...

hometown not so bad, at lease for a few weeks...

in preperation for my move to nyc i moved everything from my apartment in houston, back to my mom's in bryan. i was going to go back to houston to work, and finish the semester at the university of houston. of my 3 years in houston, i only came home and stayed a week like once during my first year, when i had the summer flu. coming home has been quite an experince. i have seen so many things, and learned so much about those in my family. living in the city, attending college, and bettering myself was great for me, and i often battled with thoughts of spereation, and being ashamed. i disagree with a lot that goes on in my hometown with my family. it's amazing to me that people can point out problems with me, and even living 100 miles away i could still give them small control over my thoughts, and actions, but yet things go on right in front of them, that are more serious in nature than anything i have ever done, and people opt to ignore it. before i left and went to nyc i was at the end of my ropes with almost everyone, but after my trip, and coming back from new york know the next time i returned it would be for good, calmed me down a lot. i got a part time job here, to occupy my time, and get out of the house, and have a little change in my pocket. i have also been in contact with a lot of people from highschool that are still here, and i might even go out with them...as for the next 8 weeks I will enjoy what's left of my time here in texas, and try my best to prepare for the biggest move of my life....

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

cross country moving can be a bit much....

okay when you are moving like 2000 miles away from home shit can get stressful. one thing about me is i have moved probally 10 times over the past four years, and after my last move i was prepared to be in my apartment until i built my first house. well the break up came, the house plans were scratched, and i ended up deciding to move to new york for grad school. now i am face with daunting task of planning every little step of my move. i have sooo much shit, and though i have parted with much of it over the past month, something i will never be able to part with. i know i mght sound stupid by saying this, but i am worried about getting my yearbook collection to new york. as far as home furnishings i have decided to pretty much give away the things i have here, and sart over when i get to new york. i will be glad when they finally open an ikea in brooklyn. but until then i have no problem going to long island or jersey. once brandon decides to come i will come to houston, and whatever i have left here i will bring back. no biggie, just a lot of planning to do. as far as the whole apartment process, it is completely different from houston, in houston we have complexes, and great deals for apartments, in new york they want so much shit mainly so much money....but that is just the way things are...I know that all of these are just minor worroies and everything will work out in one way or another....

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

growing up, and doing what's right for me....




while i was in nyc, my mother decided to read my blog, and the entry she read, she though i had left texas for good. i assured her that i had a plan for moving to new york, and that i would be fine. i returned here to texas for a shorttime to take care of some things, before making my final official move to new york. when i arrived back home it was like a dark cloud, came over me, my feelings and emotions. for a while i have battled with many issues that i have ignored, but as i get older and get a louder voice, i will not and cannot remain silent. some issues when you comment on them it only makes tha sitution worst, so that is why i have choosen not to live around my family. for the fisrt time in my life i am finally starting to feel comfortable with almost all aspects in my life. i am laying the foundation for a successful career in public relations, community service, and journalism, my mind is at ease for the most part when it comes to me. yesterday i had a horrible arguement with my brother, who has sooooo many issues that i cannot even begin to explain any of then nor do i care to, and i finally said a lot of things to my mother that was on my mind. i told here that i didn't feel comfortable around them, i didn't feel confortable as a visitor in her home, and i should not have to feel like that because of a sorry ass 28 year old who is wasting his life. i told her that i am moving to new york, and i don't want o hear anyone try to tell me to wait, or not to go becasue my mind is made up. i understand that my mother worries about me, i cannot explain the type of relationship that we have, i can only say that it is a love hate special realtionship which is priceless to me. i have to look at her pov from a parents perspective, yet i have to remember that i have to do what is good for me, and something that will make me a better person in the long run. my biggest fear that i explained to my bestfreind brandon, was i don't want to become one of these little homosexual black men that move 2000 miles away from family, and get one of those horrible, lonely relationships, where i have nothing but others in the gay community to get a family feeling. i want to maintain a good relationship, but i am finding that is going to be very very hard. there are so many things about my hometown that i just hate, and when i say it it makes it seem like i am ashamed or i have let going o college and living in the city change me, and that is not the siuation at all...i'm not sure, i guess i will have to continue to pray about it, and hopefully eveything will be fine, if everything is not, i know i will be....

Monday, October 30, 2006

why i didn't go to the statue of liberty....


one of my friends from undergrad saw all of my pictures from nyc, and asked me, why didn't you go to the statue of liberty? so here is my anwser. as a young black gay man living in the united states of america, i am happy and every proud to be an american, but i still feel in many ways i don't have much liberty. i live in what is supposed to be the smartest, and richest counrty in the world, yet my peers are fighting a war for no reason, i still have to damn near sell my soul for a quarter tank of gas,i am not free to marry who i love. coming across the atlantic ocean immigrants from countries in europe saw the statue, and knew they were in a new place to start a new and better life, my poor ancestors were not treated to a view like that. they were forced onto ship only to get to a country where they would never be free again.....so why should i get get excited about that, were the people of new orleans free when our own government left them to die for the days proceeding hurricane katina? do my fellow glbt brothers and sisters feel like we have liberty, when we have to hide our feelings, have a goverenment that we feel could care less about us, and not marry or be free to love as others...so how do you feel??

Sunday, October 29, 2006

my response...to the bilble and the homsexual....

We sometimes use the Bible to our advantage when it can be a disadvantage

Terrance O. Gilbert PVAMU Alumnus, Freelance Journalist

In response to Otis Clayborne’s editorial that appeared, in the October 26th issue of The Panther, I wanted to offer more of a personal backed by professional opinion.

Everyone is entitle to believe what they want to believe, live how they want, and worship who they want, for it is a right afforded to us by being citizens of the United States and America, and in my opinion a God-given right.

It’s amazing how we (the African-American race) can magically use the bible to be the sole research for whatever topic we are arguing. Mr. Clayborne, you cited the same old typical scriptures, that all of straight society always quotes at the GLBT community. Leviticus 18 (man shall not lie with man), well this is my first argument I have laid with a few men in my 5 years of being openly gay with myself, family, and friends, I have never laid with a man a woman, but yet as another man my equal, for if I wanted to lay with a man as a woman I would get a woman. For you must be very careful because each scripture you use can be distorted for the fact of making the person challenging you look good.

While you were reading into your Bible so in depth did you happen to look over a few more of my scriptures that society often conveniently ignores, hmmm let’s see; Leviticus 19:27 You shall not shave around the sides of your head, nor shall you disfigure the edges of your beard. 28 You shall not make and cuttings in your flesh for the dead nor tattoo any marks on you. I am the Lord. For the most part we all get nice tapers, even cuts, and fades, so is this greater than homosexuality? What percent of the student body have some type of tattoo or piercing on their bodies, or was it only the class of 2002 that came to PVAMU and many of us made the infamous trips to Houston in the middle of the night for tatts and tongue rings both gat and straight?

It is the same Bible that was used by slave owners to justify the oppression of black slaves. So where do we as a people draw the line, do we simply just pick and choose what gets us into heaven and what does not? It is sad that so many of my peers preach what they want to instead of try to unite and find common ground when it comes to understanding the Source.

I often wonder when I read articles and editorials like the Mr. Claybornes’ I just have to remember that like many of my other peers it’s just a repeat of homophobic rhetoric recited by their pastors, and parents. It seems that anyone who challenges the rhetoric or the word must be a non-believer of a devil. The truth is when it comes to many topics and issues in the Bible, people often quote scriptures they like or is fitting for the situation, often without any knowledge of the real facts.

I am an openly gay homosexual black man living in Texas of all places, and life has not been a walk in the park. It is wrong immorally for me to love another man, yet it is okay for out community leaders, pastors, political figures, and parents to lie, cheat and steal. If no one else has said it I have. We can focus time and energy on slamming the gay community with irrelevant issues and use the Bible in pitiful attempts to justify ignorance. Walk around PVAMU and I promise you will find many more things along with homosexuality that indeed the Bible condemns.

In conclusion Jesus never discusses homosexuality anywhere in the Bible. I am a true believer in the word, and I have my own personal relationship with GOD, and I am on my own journey to a heaven that I truly believe exist. I just like everyone else was created out of sin, and I am not perfect, but at the end of the day when it is all said and done for Terrance Omar` Gilbert, God himself will have the last word. We must fist all learn to love each other as brothers and sisters.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Bible and the homosexual

** Okay this is from my school's newspaper, I am currently working on my response to this article....

The Bible declares in Hosea 4:6, "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge."

E.L. Bynum, pastor of the Tabernacle Baptist Church in Lubbock, Texas, once said, "Many years ago it was not proper to speak in public about homosexuality. It was something that polite, decent people just did not talk about. They knew it existed, but they knew it was wrong. Religious people knew the Bible condemned it as a sin. Perhaps, too many Christians have been silent too long on the subject. In the last 20, years there has been tremendous change in public attitudes. This has come about through the influence of magazines, newspapers, and books, which have advocated a soft and sympathetic attitude toward this sin. Some doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists have defended homosexuality. It has had an impact on public opinion. Now, the homosexuals are coming out in the open and bragging about their practice. Many "gay parades" have been held. Some cities have had "Gay Pride Week."

Webster defines homosexuality as being "characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex." E. L. Bynum speaks the truth. Christians have been silent too long on this subject and it's high time that we discuss and expose it. Before I get into this, know that regardless of what man says about homosexuality, a true Bible believer must turn to the Bible for God's truth on the subject. It is here we will find God's eternal truth, which should settle this matter forever.

We find the first mention of homosexuality in Genesis 19:1-5. In this passage, we find that God has sent two angels, who appeared as men, to Sodom to warn Lot of the city's impending doom. Once the angels entered Lot's house, the men of Sodom surrounded the house and asked him, "Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them." It is clear that the Bible uses the word "know" many times to describe a sex act between two individuals. "And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain," and, "Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch" (Gen. 4:1, 17). Lot offered to give the men of Sodom his two unmarried daughters, which had not "known man," but of course they were not interested in women. They wanted men because they were sodomites. Then, shortly after, we find that God destroyed the city with fire and brimstone.

In the book of Leviticus, we find two explicit scriptures stating God's view on homosexuality. "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination" (Lev. 18:22). "If a man also lie with mankind as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death" (Lev. 20:13).

In the book of Romans, chapter one, homosexuality is pictured as being at the end of the road. It is at the lowest level of human depravity. For this cause, God gave them up unto vile affections, for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was met" (Romans 1: 26-27).

Homosexual ministers and ministers who condone homosexuality have written many articles defending its practice, but they never bother to explain Romans one. The reason is obvious. It cannot be explained in any way. It must either be ignored or denied. Widespread homosexuality in a society is a sign that God has given them up. If America continues to follow the widespread homosexual trend, it will destroy our civilization but, if you're homosexual, I have good news. Acts 3:19 says, "Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out." I strongly encourage you to not only follow this scripture, but to get involved in a Holy Ghost filled church that preaches every inch of the Bible.

i heart new york...


nyc is great. i am so ready for my big move to the city that never sleeps. i returned to TX last week for what is turing out to be my final trip to Texas as a Texan. new york was never a place I saw myself living until recently. the city for some reason became so attractive, and I had to see what it was all about. upon arrival i was in love with the city. new york city is like no other city in the world. so many people, so many things, and so much to see. part of what shaped my idea of nyc was trey, who changed the way i thought about things. it feels so good to have someone in yuor life that can show you things, someone you can talk to, and someone who when you are making the biggest move of you life, is going to be there to help you, and truly be there. my trip to new york was great, I told myself I was not going to be a tourist, but there were some sites I just had to see, I had to have my cupcakes from the magnolia bakery, and visit times square. it did help shape many things that will be diffet=rent from tx, for example i must now prepare to take little packets of mustarf with me everywhere, becasue it is unheard of on burgers in nyc for some strange reason....??

Updating This Weekend...

I promise I am goingto do better you guys! I am in the process of updating everything on my blog look for an entire new look by the end of the weekend......

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Boy in the city....

I arrived in NYC on Tuesday, and I LOVE IT!!! When I got here Tuesday it was raining, and kind of cold, which pissed me off beacuse it seemed like the rain followed me from Texas. I flew jetBlue, which just started offering flights from Houston Hobby to JFK last month for $79.00 one way. The flight was fine, a little bumpy, but nothing horrible. I was aable to sit back and watch the today show, some cold case shit on A&E, and catch up on Project Runway. Being able to watch TV sure makes the trip a lot better, however I am pissed that they don't have CNN... I arrived, and had to wait for Trevor to meet me. Tuesday night we went to Manhattan, he wanted to make me familiar with the subways, and show me his where his job was on the Upper East Side. In the rain we went to Time Square, and that was when it officially sank in that I was a boy in the city. When you are from small town Texas, sometimes things like this can be a bit overwelming. Until about tow months ago I never had considered living in NYC, I always thought it was too many people with horrible additudes, and a entirly different world from the rest of the United States of America. Wedensday morning I woke up, and got ready to go meet Jonathan at the GLAAD offices in midtown. For my first time on the subway by myself I didn't get lost, and I was so proud of myself. The GLAAD offices were great, a comfortable space on the 8th floor of an older building in Manhattan's Midtown. The colors were bright, and everyones' space seemed to be clean and well organized. I sat down with Jonathan and talked about everything from coming out, to school, to what I wanted to acomplish by moving to New York. I was glad that I was able to talk to him, and get his input about eveything. Like myself he is from the South, I left a small town and went to Houston, he went to Emory in ATL, then made the move to the Big Apple. He told me it's going to be a good thing, and he thinks it will be great. After the meeting was when the fun started, I decided to go out and get lost...I ended up walking the streets of Manhattan for about three hours, before ending up at Trevors' job. He was excited when he saw that I was able to make it alone, and he took me across the street for pizza. My fisrt slice of NYC pizza was off the chain.... I decdied to go and take a look at the upper east side for myself, and I was so impressed. I felt like my adopted character Carrie Bradshaw off Sex and The City. I walked up and down Fifth and Park Avenues, went to the Apple Store, and Tiffany & Co. I must say I love this place if I have not aready said it....I spke to my mother for the first time since I had been in NY, and the conversation went great, of course she fussed about me not bring good shoes for walking expecially after my whole foot problems. But she told me she was happy I was having a good time. That is the hardest thing is leaving my mother, I feel like she has been my keeper for some long and always had my best intrest at hand, and now by me up and leaving to move over 2000 miles away is kinda slap in the face. My mother is happy with living in a small town where it takes her 15 mins to get to work, and she knows everyone in town. When I told her about all the people here, and just the general atmosphere of NYC, she was like "I wouldn't like that", but I know she will feel different when she comes to visit me next summer. Trevor too me to a resturant in to eat BBQ last night, it was nothing like TX, but if filled me up for the train ride back to Brooklyn. By time we made it back to his place I was tired, I could only take a hot shower and retire to bed....NYC is one of those places where you go and go and go, so by time you make it home you can sleep and really nothing else. I was so happy to see that so many people hit me up of facebook saying they were happy for me...As for today, I am going to relax, and I might get out later this afternoon and explore a little more...but I am not sure yet....I will keep you all posted...