The Original Gentleman

Whitney........

2012-02-12T05:56:00.000-06:00

Whitney Houston, superstar of records, films, dies | accessAtlanta

2012-02-12T05:43:00.000-06:00

Whitney Houston, superstar of records, films, dies | accessAtlanta

Police: 2 of 3 suspects ID'd in videotaped attack | ajc.com

2012-02-10T04:49:00.000-06:00

Police: 2 of 3 suspects ID'd in videotaped attack | ajc.com

My OFFICIAL NOH8 PHOTO

2011-12-21T19:02:00.004-06:00

The Prodigal Son- A letter to TD Jakes from his son

2011-11-15T06:16:00.001-06:00

Well, this morning I woke up to am e-mail with a link from Youtube that has gone viral overnight. If you follow my blog or even if not I had a post back in February of 2009 when Bishop T.D. Jake's son was was accused of exposing himself in front of an undercover vice detective at a city park in Oak Cliff. The Bishop apparently never issued a statement regarding the matter, other than a few reports saying it was private family matter. Well apparently his son it still having some very deep emotional issues that have not healed, and as I posted back in 2009 another PK (Pastor's Kid) gone WILD. I guess society deems these children as either perfect, or just terrible, however after watching this video clip from a poetry slam, I feel so bad that this man is hurting, and I'd just like to pray his healing process can begin soon. NEvertheless once the media get a hold of this, it will go even more viral, and he will likely be on every talk show before the end of the week!

Check out the video and tell me your thoughts!

Luke 15:11-32 (New International Version)

The Parable of the Lost Son

¹¹ Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. ¹² The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

¹³ “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. ¹⁴ After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. ¹⁵ So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. ¹⁶ He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

¹⁷ “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! ¹⁸ I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. ¹⁹ I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ ²⁰ So he got up and went to his father.

“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

²¹ “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’

²² “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. ²³ Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. ²⁴ For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.

²⁵ “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. ²⁶ So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ²⁷ ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’

²⁸ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. ²⁹ But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. ³⁰ But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

³¹ “‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. ³² But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

Duane Cramer: Trailblazer, Photographer, Activist

2011-10-30T12:59:00.001-06:00

Over the years I have been blessed, and fortunate to meet many that share the same unique visions, goals, and ideals as myself. This past August I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Duane Cramer, an amazing activist and photographer. Mr. Cramer has quickly become one of my mentors, and I just just his work, I ran across this article and I just had to share it! Keep up the awesome work, and keep inspiring my generation to think, live, and dream BIG!

Myself, and Mr. Cramer at the "Testing Makes Us Stronger" Launch in Atlanta, GA, Aug. 2011

Duane Cramer: Trailblazer, Photographer, Activist - Link to article on Blackaids.org.

Addressing the HIV Epidemic among Gay and Bisexual Men

2011-09-28T11:03:00.001-05:00

I had the chance to personally meet Dr. Kevin Fenton, the director of the National Center for HIV/AIDS, Viral Hepatitis, STD, and TB Prevention (NCHHSTP) last month at the 2011 National HIV Prevention Conference in Atlanta, GA. Dr Fenton discussed in various sessions over the four day conference the US Government's stance on the on going crisis among gay and bisexual men, particularly those of color. I left the conference with a clearer view of how I can make a difference in my nation, can the various communities in which I consider myself to be a part of. I returned home to Dallas with both a different perspective on just how this epidemic is spreading, and what I can do to join the fight.

Being someone that's been into the fine art of communications all of my life, I decided I would take the things I love to do, polish them for the good, and make my talents more useful in my communities. I give credit where it is due, and I will say the Obama administration has done a fabulous job in enhancing National Communications across the board. I make daily visits to both the White House's website, and the CDC's sites for work reference purposes, and for educational resources as well. Below you will find a link to a article from Dr. Fenton released on yesterday the Fourth National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.

http://twitter.com/CDC_DrFenton
Addressing the HIV Epidemic among Gay and Bisexual Men

CDC awards $55 million for HIV prevention among gay, bisexual and transgender youth of color

2011-09-27T18:26:00.001-05:00

Three Texas Agencies Receive Federal Funding For HIV\AIDS Prevention

The Centers for Disease Control & Prevention announced today — National Gay Men's HIV/AIDS Awareness Day — that is is awarding $55 million over five years to 34 community-based organizations, including Abounding Prosperity in Dallas, TX, and Legacy Community Health Services, Houston Area Community Services, Inc. both in Houston, TX.
The grants amount to approximately $300,000 per organization each year and will be used to expand HIV prevention services for young gay and bisexual men of color, transgender youth of color, and their partners.
“On this National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, we are reminded of the urgency of the HIV epidemic in the United States and the dramatic impact among gay and bisexual men, who account for more than 60 percent of new infections,” said Dr. Jonathan Mermin, director of CDC’s Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention, in a statement.
“We must also recognize that the epidemic cannot be overcome without effectively addressing the severe and rising toll of HIV infections among gay and bisexual men of color, who continue to be hardest hit by this disease.”
According to CDC estimates released in August, between 2006 and 2009, the annual number of new HIV infections increased 48 percent among young black men who have sex with men.
Among Latinos, gay and bisexual men account for nearly two-thirds of all new infections with nearly half of these infections among Latino men who have sex with men occurring in the 13-29 age group. It's also estimated that 28 percent of transgender people are HIV-infected, according to the CDC.
"The new CDC awards are designed to enable CBOs with strong links to these populations to meet their specific HIV prevention needs. As part of these awards, each organization will be required to provide specific prevention services. These include providing HIV testing to a total of more than 90,000 young gay and bisexual men and transgender youth of color, with a goal of identifying more than 3,500 previously unrecognized HIV infections (over the five-year funding period) — and linking those who are HIV-infected to care and prevention services," states a press release from the CDC.
"CBOs will also carry out proven behavioral change HIV prevention programs and distribute condoms to young gay and bisexual men and transgender youth of color who are at high risk for HIV or are HIV-infected."
The CDC funding is spread out over 19 states and Puerto Rico. The CDC states that 30 organizations are receiving funding for efforts to reach young gay and bisexual men of color, six organizations are receiving funding to reach transgender youth of color and two organizations are being funded to reach both groups of people.
"Geographic distribution of the awards is aligned with the AIDS burden among men who have sex men of color in the United States. For example, 44 percent of the funds will go to CBOs in the South, where 42 percent of AIDS diagnoses among MSM of color occurred in 2008," the CDC press release states.
"The new awards are one part of CDC’s efforts to reduce HIV infections among young MSM and transgender youth of color and supports President Obama’s National HIV/AIDS Strategy which calls for prioritizing prevention efforts for the most-affected populations," the CDC states.

Copyright 2011 Terrance O. Gilbert All Rights Reserved ©

Official Press Release

CDC awards $55 million for HIV prevention among gay, bisexual and transgender youth of color

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention today awarded $55 million over five years to 34 community-based organizations (CBOs) to expand HIV prevention services for young gay and bisexual men of color, transgender youth of color, and their partners. The awards expand upon a previous program to reach these populations with an increase of $10 million to fund a larger number of community organizations. The average award for each organization is approximately $300,000 per year.

“On this National Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, we are reminded of the urgency of the HIV epidemic in the United States and the dramatic impact among gay and bisexual men, who account for more than 60 percent of new infections,” said Dr. Jonathan Mermin, director of CDC’s Division of HIV/AIDS Prevention. “We must also recognize that the epidemic cannot be overcome without effectively addressing the severe and rising toll of HIV infections among gay and bisexual men of color, who continue to be hardest hit by this disease.”

Recent data show that young men who have sex with men (MSM) of color are at particularly high and increasing risk of HIV infection. According to CDC estimates released in August, between 2006 and 2009, the annual number of new HIV infections increased 48 percent among young black MSM. Among Latinos, men who have sex with men are by far the most severely impacted, accounting for nearly two-thirds of all new infections. Nearly half of these infections among Latino MSM occurred in the youngest age group (aged 13-29). Transgender people are also severely affected by HIV. It is estimated that 28 percent of transgender people are HIV-infected.

The new CDC awards are designed to enable CBOs with strong links to these populations to meet their specific HIV prevention needs. As part of these awards, each organization will be required to provide specific prevention services. These include providing HIV testing to a total of more than 90,000 young gay and bisexual men and transgender youth of color, with a goal of identifying more than 3,500 previously unrecognized HIV infections (over the five-year funding period) – and linking those who are HIV-infected to care and prevention services. CBOs will also carry out proven behavioral change HIV prevention programs and distribute condoms to young gay and bisexual men and transgender youth of color who are at high risk for HIV or are HIV-infected.

The 34 funded CBOs represent 19 states and Puerto Rico. Thirty organizations will receive funding for efforts reaching young gay and bisexual men of color, and six will receive funding for efforts reaching transgender youth of color (two organizations are funded to reach both populations). A complete list of organizations receiving funding is provided below.

Geographic distribution of the awards is aligned with the AIDS burden among MSM of color in the United States. For example, 44 percent of the funds will go to CBOs in the South, where 42 percent of AIDS diagnoses among MSM of color occurred in 2008.

The new awards are one part of CDC’s efforts to reduce HIV infections among young MSM and transgender youth of color and supports President Obama’s National HIV/AIDS Strategy which calls for prioritizing prevention efforts for the most-affected populations.

CDC also works to develop tailored prevention programs designed to change HIV risk behaviors, empower individuals to protect themselves from infection, increase diagnoses of HIV, and support HIV prevention and treatment services. CDC supports the implementation of these programs with technical assistance and funding for health departments and CBOs. In addition, later this year, CDC will roll-out a new phase of its HIV testing campaign for black gay and bisexual men with intensive local campaigns in select cities, accompanied by national internet advertising and social media outreach. The campaign, called Testing Makes Us Stronger, is a part of CDC’s five-year, multi-faceted national communication campaign, Act Against AIDS.

For more information, please visit http://www.cdc.gov/hiv.

***

Organizations Funded Under CDC's New Awards:

Abounding Prosperity, Dallas
AID Atlanta Inc.
AIDS Alabama, Birmingham
AIDS Project of the East Bay, Oakland, Calif.
AIDS Service Center of Lower Manhattan, New York City
AltaMed Health Services Corporation, Los Angeles
Asian Pacific Islander Coalition, New York City
Bronx AIDS Services, New York City
Brooklyn AIDS Task Force, New York City
CANDII, Inc., Norfolk, Va.
Care Resource, Miami
Center of Halsted (Horizon Community Services), Chicago
Columbus AIDS Task Force, Columbus, Ohio
Community Health Awareness Group, Detroit
Community Health Project, New York City
Diverse and Resilient, Inc., Milwaukee
Family Health Centers of San Diego, Inc.
Foundation for Research on Sexually Transmitted Diseases, New York City
Houston Area Community Services, Inc.
Hyacinth AIDS Foundation, New Brunswick, N.J.
Kansas City Free Health Clinic, Kansas City, Mo.
La Clinica De La Raza, Inc., Oakland, Calif.
La Clinica Del Pueblo, Inc., Washington, D.C.
L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, Los Angeles
Legacy Community Health Services, Houston
Lester and Rosalie Anixter Center, Chicago
My Brother’s Keeper Inc., Ridgeland, Miss.
New Orleans AIDS Taskforce
Philadelphia Fight
Positive Impact, Inc., Atlanta
Puerto Rico CoNCRA, San Juan
South Carolina HIV/AIDS Council, Columbia
Us Helping US, People Into Living, Inc., Washington, D.C.
Women Accepting Responsibility, Baltimore

###

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

CDC to Launch New Campaign Targeting Young Black Gay/Bi Men This Week

2011-09-26T07:48:00.000-05:00

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention held a conference Aug. 15-16 in Atlanta. The conference included new research on HIV’s impact on men who have sex with men in the black community. I was privileged to be among a small group of individuals who got a chance to preview a new campaign aimed at increasing HIV testing and awareness since the CDC estimates that a very high percentage of MSM are unaware of their HIV status.

The “Testing Makes Us Stronger” campaign is part of a $45 million, five-year initiative launched by the White House in 2009. On Aug. 3, the CDC released its new estimates of the annual number of new HIV infections in the U.S. from 2006 through 2009. While the CDC says there is “relative stability” at around 50,000, they also show the continued disproportionate impact on black gays and bisexuals.

“The most concerning aspect of the new estimates is the finding that new HIV infections among young black MSM increased by an alarming 48 percent during the four-year period 2006 to 2009. And this group, young black men who have sex with men, age 13 to 29 years, was the only group in the United States to experience significant increases during that time,” said Dr. Kevin Fenton, the CDC director for HIV/AIDS and STD prevention, on an Aug. 15 conference call with reporters and public health professionals. “These new analyses underscore the urgency of reaching young black men who have sex with men with HIV prevention. We cannot allow the health of a new generation of young, black gay and bisexual men to be lost to essentially preventable diseases.”

CDC Medical Epidemiologist Dr. John Su followed up, explaining results from the first national assessment of HIV co-infection with syphilis, of whom black men and MSM are disproportionately impacted.

“We observe significant disparities by sex partner, race, ethnicity and age,” Su said. “Fifty-three percent of MSM were co-infected with HIV, compared to 9 percent of men having sex with women only, and five percent of women. The percentage of black MSM who are co-infected was higher than MSM of other races or ethnicities, 59 percent of black MSM compared to 50 percent of white MSM and 49 percent of Hispanic MSM. Among 15 to 19-year-old MSM, the significantly greater percentage of black MSM were co-infected with HIV than MSM of other races or ethnicities, 35 percent compared to 22 percent of white MSM or 11 percent of Hispanic MSM in the same age group.”

Additionally, “we observed a 167 percent increase in cases of primary and secondary syphilis among 20 to 24-year-old black MSM.”

Below here are a few photos I snapped at the reception the was held at the Atlanta Marriott Marquis last month. A lot of hard work and research was put into developing a diverse yet culturally affirming, and sensitive campaign. About a dozen public health, community activist, and government employees worked countless hours to ensure this campaign had a lasting, clear and consistant message to young black MSM's.

Special thanks to a few people including the Communications team at the CDC in Atlanta, my buddy Venton Jones from the National Black Gay Men's Advocacy Coalition (NBGMAC) in Washington DC, my new mentor, and buddy Mr. Duane Cramer of Duane Cramer Photography, the team from Better World Advertising . This is a wonderful campaign our community can embrace and be very proud of for years to come!

Members of the expert panel, creative team, photographer

Myself and Mr. Duane Cramer

Mr. Duane Cramer, Mr. Les Pappas (Better World Advertising), Dr. Kevin Fenton

Myself, Dr. Kevin Fenton (CDC), and Mr. Venton Jones (NBMAC)

The Social Affair III

2011-09-23T19:59:00.000-05:00

Join myself, and many others next weekend for the third installment of the Social Affair, the official Tweet & Greet of Dallas! This year the guest list stretches from coast to coast with some of the most followed names locally and nationally! I'd like to send a special shout out to @Ubellument United Black Ellument, who is sponsoring this event for the community free of charge! It gets my sTamp of approval for a musT aTTend evenT during Dallas's annual PVAMU vs Grambling and Black Pride Weekend!

It's that time again DALLAS!

2011-09-22T08:46:00.000-05:00

I am so glad to be on the marketing committee this year for DFW Pride Movement! The committee has been hard at work planning a great weekend of events! Enjoy!

Black and LGBT in the Black Church

2011-07-26T09:58:00.000-05:00

Straight and gay pastors weigh in on the polarizing isssue

by Tomika Anderson

Kenyon Farrow says he was 10 years old when he learned that being openly gay was a liability. As a member of his uncle’s church in Cleveland, he says he remembers when the congregation’s openly gay choir director and his male partner would bring food for the church potluck, folks would whisper about which dish it was so nobody would eat it and “catch AIDS.”

“This was when the AIDS epidemic was first gaining notoriety,” says Farrow, referring to the early 1980s. “Since HIV/AIDS was automatically linked to homosexuality back then, you’d hear a lot of the fire-and-brimstone-type speeches, about how being gay was an abomination and a sin. If you were gay, you pretty much learned to keep quiet.”

Unfortunately, says the former Executive Director ofQueers for Economic Justice and Policy Institute Fellow with the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force, not much has changed since then. He says that while nowadays Christian LGBTQs (Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual, Transgender or Queer) in large cities can opt to attend queer-friendly churches, those living in small towns or in the south must either worship at home or quietly attend predominantly heterosexual ones, at the risk of being found out. “[Gospel superstar] Donnie McClurkinwas at a youth revival at this mega church in Memphis in 2009 where he was calling out ‘all the sissies,’” recalls Farrow. “He said, ‘I’m not here to save a whole bunch of sissies this weekend,’ demanding that they come out and down to the front as part of this whole public shaming. Now, is that sort of thing fair? Absolutely not,” says Farrow. “But it definitely happens.”

Formerly closeted pastor Joseph Tolton, who formed his own Pentecostal ministry six years ago, the Rehoboth Temple Christ Conscious Church in Harlem, can speak to that type of humiliation from personal experience. “I used to attend the New Life Tabernacle Church in Brooklyn,” he says, “and my best friend at the time—who I hadn’t told I was gay—was about to get married. He asked me to be his best man,” Tolton shares. “I felt like I needed to come out to him and his fiancée before I did that…but when I told them, they asked me not to be in their wedding. I knew then that I had to go,” he says.

Rigid attitudes around homosexuality in the church, mosque and in communities of color overall may explain the fervor that surrounded embattled Georgia pastor Eddie Long. After years of publicly denouncing homosexuality—even going so far as to lead a special ministry for gays and lesbians in order to convert them into heterosexuals—Bishop Long was sued last year by four young men who alleged he used his pastoral influence to coerce them into a sexual relationship with him. A national uproar ensued as he scurried to settle with them out of court. Some argue that had it been women Long had the affairs with, he might have gotten a slap on the wrist. But because his dalliances allegedly involved (underage) men, his feet were put to the proverbial fire.

New York City-based trauma expert and wellness coach Dara Williams says it is the fear of public condemnation that keeps folks—in and outside of the church—from being honest about who they are when it comes to their sexuality. “The black community is very conservative about most sex-related issues,” she says, “and homosexuality is one of them. Sexuality in our community is generally oppressed or not discussed, and we can see through our [collective] rate of HIV infection that this kind of secrecy is literally killing us.”

Williams, who has held a private practice for 25 years, says that what her LGBTQ clients want mostly from the Black church is to be received into a welcoming and safe space—without having to be on the “down-low.” “Hiding [your true self] can cause one to suffer from depression, anxiety, anger and sadness,” she says. “It is not a healthy or self-empowering way to live your life, let alone worship.”

Reverend Mozell Albright of the United House of Strength in Brooklyn feels gays should be welcomed in church, but mainly because “they are spiritually sick” and must come to be “healed.” “In Leviticus 20 and 13 it says man shall not lie with another man,” she says. “It also says anyone who does this shall be put to death. They can push for all these [new laws] permitting gay marriage and other rights all they want. God’s word still stands.”

Reverend Albright is not alone. The National Black Church Initiative, described as a faith-based coalition of 34,000 churches that includes 15 denominations and 15.7 African-Americans, says it is committed to “protecting the biblical definition of marriage.” If elected officials in NY move forward with the recently passed legislation supporting gay marriage, the group vows to mobilize their congregations against any of those lawmakers. “…The recent passage of the same sex marriage bill was not only unjust, but unholy,” said Rev. Anthony Evans, President of the NBCI, in a recent press release. “What Governor Cuomo and the state Assembly did was to unleash the full power of the black church against them.”

Farrow calls that attitude hypocritical. “If all sins are created equal, why is [homosexuality]—and not adultery and premarital sex, which are obviously happening inside the church—damned to hell?” he asks. “It’s only a problem when people feel uncomfortable,” he says. “As long as gay folks are singing and dancing for [a straight audience] they are tolerated, but the moment they bring their partner to service or wear too much eye makeup, the whispering starts,” says Farrow.

And while the recent passage of gay-right initiatives like same-sex marriage in various states and countries may do nothing to change the mindsets of pastors like Rev. Albright, Farrow says they go a long way to empower gay people who have long been oppressed.

“The day of reckoning is coming for people in conservative Black Christian churches that want to consistently harass and judge people,” he says. “Folks aren’t going for it anymore. The role the black church had in the community years ago isn’t what it used to be—half the black community doesn’t even go to church, and there’s a reason for that. That ‘holier than thou’ attitude isn’t about anything else than controlling people’s behavior. And folks who continue to hang on to it are calling for their own irrelevance and demise.”

For more on Black LGBTQs, visit blackenterprise.com/blacklgbt. To read about the trails and triumphs of being black and gay in corporate America, pick up the July 2011 issue of Black Enterprise magazine, on stands now.

Gay men’s ‘frat’ offers alternative- If You Are A Delta Man STAND UP!

2011-07-26T09:09:00.000-05:00

For those rejected by traditional fraternities, DPhiU provides true brotherhood

Delta Phi Upsilon National Membership Chairman Adrian Homer, left, and members Jarod Moore and Timothy Jackson at the DPhiU national conference in Miami, Fla. last week. — SUBMITTED BY DARRYL WILSON, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF DPHIU

Fraternities and sororities put much emphasis on their ideals of community service, sisterhood and brotherhood. So when Anthony Fluellen, a Lincoln University graduate, wanted to join a fraternity, he was confident that his morals matched those of the fraternity he was interested in.

“I just knew if not anybody else, I knew that I would make that line for my qualifications alone and my social spirit,” he said. Fluellen was an A and B student, a student ambassador, the 2009–2010 Mr. Lincoln University, and president and founder of the Gay Straight Alliance at Lincoln. But Fluellen’s confidence only got him as far as an interview.

“I deeply believe that because of my sexual preference, I was denied not once, not twice, but three times,” said the 22-year-old. Fluellen continued to search for an organization that would give him that fraternal bond he wanted and would accept every aspect of him.

Two months ago, Fluellen officially became a member of Delta Phi Upsilon (DPhiU) Fraternity, Inc., the first international fraternity for gay men.

Fluellen’s story is very much like other members of DPhiU who say they were rejected based on their sexuality.

“I did everything I was supposed to do. I made the connections. I went to an interest meeting,” said David Butler Jr., who was actively involved at Towson University. “I thought if they wanted anybody to be a member, it would be me.”

Butler was upset when he then got a Facebook message saying the organization’s members would not want him to represent them on campus.

“The reality was I was an openly gay man,” said Butler, who is the North Atlantic regional director for DPhiU.

Butler said that the man who sent him the Facebook message is gay himself, but assimilated to be in the fraternity.

“The issue that we are facing in Black communities between gay men and heterosexual men has to do with notions of hegemonic masculinity to which many heterosexist institutions such as fraternities ascribe,” said Lee Carson, president of the Black Gay Men’s Leadership Council. “The reality is there are lots of gay men in mainstream fraternities, but the homophobic nature of most frats keeps these men closeted.”

Both Butler and Fluellen blame ignorance in the Black community about homosexuality as the underlining cause of the discrimination they faced in Greek life.

“This is not a Divine Nine thing, it’s a community thing,” said Butler about the nine national Black fraternities and sororities. “The Black community created the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.”

“Black folks are seriously behind the times when it comes to LGBT acceptance and understanding,” wrote Chris Alston, president of Philadelphia Black Gay Pride, in an email. “We need to tear down that wall currently surrounding some of the ignorance in the African-American community. … Unfortunately we have a long, tedious task ahead of us to get this city where we need to be concerning the LGBT communities of color.”

Fluellen is the second member to join DPhiU in the Philadelphia area. George Banks joined in November 2010 and is helping to develop community service projects, and a chapter in Philadelphia.

“Philadelphia has a huge population of gay men of color. I think it’s extremely important to have our organization here so we can continue to be positive role models for gay men of color,” said Banks.

The organization is not currently affiliated with any universities, but has regional divisions throughout the country. The North Atlantic region has 37 active members.

“Young men are coming out earlier these days, and they don’t have any positive role models to support them,” said Kendrick Clack, president of DPhiU.

The organization’s five principles are brotherhood, friendship, loyalty, justice and temperance.

There currently are no straight men in DPhiU, but Clack said the organization would accept straight men. In the North Atlantic, prospective members must have at least college or technical training to join. For more information on the organization, visit dphiu.org.

Representatives from Alpha Phi Alpha and Kappa Alpha Psi said their organizations do not allow or encourage member discrimination based on sexual preference. Representatives from Omega Psi Phi, Phi Beta Sigma and Iota Phi Theta could not be reached for comment.

DeSoto school board doesn’t decide fate of new superintendent

2011-07-26T09:07:00.000-05:00

greaT read: NFL Hall of famer Michael Irvin talks for the first time about his gay brother and explains why he’s on a pro-gay mission from God.

2011-07-14T11:01:00.000-05:00

** This was a awesome story! Kudos to Cyd and Michael Irvin for this, it's something that needed to be read, and said. I am one of the biggest Cowboy Fans for various reasons, and we need more people to express their views about something that is becoming less and less taboo! - TOG

Photographed by Roger Erickson | Styling by Constanze Han

NFL Hall of famer Michael Irvin talks for the first time about his gay brother and explains why he’s on a pro-gay mission from God.
By Cyd Zeigler

It was a Friday evening in Fort Lauderdale, warm and clear, like so many that 12-year-old Michael Irvin had experienced growing up in southern Florida. He was riding in a car with his father, Walter, a roofer by trade who spent what little spare time he had operating as the local Primitive Baptist minister. The two were heading home after an errand that was a regular payday ritual: Walter would drive into town to buy cigars and then drop off money with Michael’s grandmother to help with her bills. It was the late 1970s, a time of strife in America, and young Michael had already seen a lot in his low-income neighborhood. But nothing prepared him for what happened next.

As Walter drove up Northwest 27th Avenue, about to turn onto 16th Street, his son noticed a man who looked just like his older brother, Vaughn, walking away from their house toward “all the craziness in the ’hood,” Irvin remembers. It couldn’t be Vaughn: “This man was wearing women’s clothes.” But it was. “My brother had a very distinctive walk,” he says.

Irvin couldn’t believe his eyes. He turned to his father. “My dad looked back at me and said, ‘Yes, that’s your brother. And you love your brother.’ ”

That was it. Irvin, who went on to become one of football’s greatest players, as well as the epitome of the troublemaking macho NFL stereotype, would never again discuss the issue with his father. “Whether Vaughn and my father later spoke about it, I don’t know. But it wasn’t something that was ever discussed among the family,” says Irvin, speaking for the first time about the gay older brother he idolized.

Walter Irvin’s message was simple: Michael was supposed to love his brother unconditionally, no matter what he looked like or who he was. But, still, the discovery was a shock that haunted Irvin as he grew into one of college football’s most feted stars. He worried that people would find out about Vaughn and bring shame upon the family. Most of all, he worried that he was gay. He kept his brother’s secret while winning a national championship with the University of Miami in 1987 (he scored a winning touchdown with a 73-yard catch during that season) and leading the Dallas Cowboys to three Super Bowl titles in the 1990s. Irvin was elected to the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2007, and in 2010, NFL .com named him one of the 100 greatest football players in history.

Meanwhile, he developed a reputation as a reckless, self-destructive celebrity who polarized public opinion like no other athlete of his generation. Irvin was a great player with a big mouth and a nasty streak, a man with a penchant for fast living. He made it a point to parade his female conquests past his teammates. Although he’s been married to his wife, Sandy, since 1990, Irvin made what he calls “mistakes” throughout his Cowboys career.

“Growing up, whoever had the most women and the nicest car, he was the man,” he says. “So when you get in the locker room, you remember that. I’m gonna get all the girls so that everybody says, ‘Michael’s the man.’ ”

In 1996, Irvin was arrested on charges of cocaine possession. He arrived in court wearing a full-length mink coat to plead no contest. The NFL suspended him five games. In 2000, he was arrested on possession charges in the company of a woman who was not his wife. The charges were later dropped. In 2005, he was cited for possession of drug paraphernalia. He claimed the items were those of a friend. ESPN, his employer at the time, suspended him.

Now, after working through some of his personal demons with his long-time bishop, T.D. Jakes of the Potter’s House church in Dallas, Texas, Irvin is ready to talk about Vaughn. More than that, he’s become a passionate supporter of gay athletes and equal rights for same-sex couples. Today, Irvin is a widely respected football commentator with weekly appearances on the NFL Network. He hosts The Michael Irvin Show on Miami’s WQAM with former World Football League player Kevin Kiley. For two years, the pair has delved into gay issues; in recent months, they have turned their attention to the subject of athletes, coaches, and team executives coming out of the closet. Now, Irvin is waiting for the day when America has its first openly gay active athlete in one of the top four professional sports leagues.

“If anyone comes out in those top four major sports, I will absolutely support him,” says Irvin. “That’s why I do my radio show every day. When these issues come out, I want to have a voice to speak about them. I think growth comes when we share. Until we do that, we’re going to be stuck in the Dark Ages about a lot of things. When a guy steps up and says, ‘This is who I am,’ I guarantee you I’ll give him 100% support.”

At 45 years old, Irvin isn’t satisfied. A deeply religious man, he’s begun grappling with images of himself standing at heaven’s door. Irvin doesn’t think touchdowns are going to score him a ticket to eternity.

“The last thing I want is to go to God and have him ask, ‘What did you do?’ And I talk about winning Super Bowls and national titles,” Irvin says. “I didn’t do anything to make it a better world before I left? That would be scary.”

Irvin studies the Bible and attends church every Sunday when he’s not on TV. During his Hall of Fame acceptance speech in 2007, he mentioned his wife, Sandy, twice; he mentioned his pro coaches, Tom Landry and Jimmy Johnson, once each; and he referenced God 14 times. The theme song for his radio show is Dusty Springfield’s “Son of a Preacher Man.”

As he approached the end of his football career, and as legal troubles piled up, Irvin searched deep within himself to understand the life choices he had made. Together with Jakes, whom Irvin considers his “spiritual father,” he searched for the root cause of his drug abuse and womanizing, and they revisited the car ride with his father more than 30 years earlier. That, Irvin now realizes, was a major turning point in his life.

Growing up, Irvin greatly admired his brother Vaughn, who was a successful bank manager while still living in “the ’hood,” says Irvin. That success made him “God” in his younger brother’s eyes. “He was the smartest, most charismatic man I’d ever seen in my life. We would all say, ‘Can you believe -- white people put Vaughn in charge of all that money?!’ ” The boys had similar personalities: Both were gregarious and got along with just about everyone. As the 15th child of 17, Irvin wore Vaughn’s hand-me-downs as a boy, and they grew up in close quarters. Even as Irvin kept the secret of Vaughn’s sexual orientation, he remained close to him until Vaughn died of stomach cancer at the age of 49 in 2006.

Did Vaughn’s 15 other siblings know of his secret? “Oh, they knew. We all knew,” says Irvin. “It just wasn’t discussed.”

Homosexuality wasn’t exactly an issue that could be discussed in the football locker room, either -- unless, of course, it was in the form of the homophobic bile rife among his colleagues and friends. As Irvin’s national profile grew, he subconsciously distanced himself further from his brother’s sexuality.

“We went back to that day,” Irvin says of the car ride in Fort Lauderdale, “and through it all, we realized maybe some of the issues I’ve had with so many women—just bringing women around so everybody can see—maybe that’s residual of the fear I had that, if my brother is wearing ladies’ clothes, am I going to be doing that? Is it genetic? I’m certainly not making excuses for my bad decisions. But I had to dive inside of me to find out why I was making these decisions, and that came up.”

Years with this secret have given Irvin a glimpse into the solitary confinement so many closeted athletes feel locked inside.

“I’m not gay, but I was afraid to even let anyone have the thought. I can only imagine the agony—being a prisoner in your own mind -- for someone who wants to come out. If I’m not gay and I am afraid to mention it, I can only imagine what an athlete must be going through if he is gay.”

And yet, Irvin says, 15 years ago his champion team would have accepted a gay teammate on one condition: that the player could play. Winning was all that mattered.

“I believe, if a teammate had said he was gay, we would have integrated him and kept moving because of the closeness.” As a leader in the locker room, it would have been Irvin’s job to keep the team together, first and foremost. And if that job called for him to support a gay teammate and share his connection, he thinks he could have. “We had a bunch of different characters on that team. Deoin [Sanders] and Emmitt [Smith]. I believe that team would have handled it well.”

The quarterback of Irvin’s all-conquering team was Troy Aikman, infamously “outed” by sportswriter Skip Bayless in his 1996 book, Hell-Bent. Bayless wrote, “I had heard the rumor since 1991. An off-duty Dallas police officer who traveled with the Cowboys and worked security at their hotels first told me that the ‘word on the street’ was that Aikman was gay. Over the next four years, I heard the rumor from two more police officers who worked around the team, and I know they mentioned it to team officials.”

Did Irvin and his teammates discuss Aikman’s sexuality? Irvin pauses for a while before answering, “No, we didn’t. I didn’t think Troy was gay, but even if he had been, I think we could have handled it. Would it have affected the team? No sir. I was going to make sure of that.”

Irvin is certain that, in light of today’s relatively more enlightened attitudes, a team would have no choice but to embrace their gay teammate. He also notes that his 2009 appearance on Dancing With the Stars would never have happened 10 years ago, when he was still embodying the macho stereotype. “No way, man. I could not have done that kind of thing before.” (He made it to seventh place on the contest, but says it was tough: “There’s a difference between being quick on your toes on the field and going heel-to-toe on the dance floor.”)

So now that society has loosened up, is it wrong for a gay player to hide his sexuality, or is he still entitled to his privacy? “I think it’s his own preference, who he wants to share that with. But I would like to see players come forward and be happy with who they are.

“Hopefully, as we move forward, we’ll get to a place where there’s no way it’s even considered; it just is what it is and everybody can do what they do. That’s the ultimate goal.”

Irvin wants to eradicate homophobia in every corner of American society. He points to churches that have skewed the word of God to persecute those who don’t share their dogma; he shakes his head at the black culture he says has gone adrift in a sea of homophobia; and he said it’s time to end the second class–citizen status of gays in the eyes of the law.

“I don’t see how any African-American with any inkling of history can say that you don’t have the right to live your life how you want to live your life. No one should be telling you who you should love, no one should be telling you who you should be spending the rest of your life with. When we start talking about equality and everybody being treated equally, I don’t want to know an African-American who will say everybody doesn’t deserve equality.”

Love him or hate him, Michael Irvin doesn’t care. He’s on a mission. He hopes opening closet doors for gay people will be a key chapter in his life story. “I have to make sure we do things to bring people together. The Super Bowls will be the footnotes on my resume.”

Black LGBT Community Diversity in Corporate America | Black Enterprise

2011-07-07T12:52:00.000-05:00

Black LGBT Community Diversity in Corporate America | Black Enterprise

My Birthday Wish List

2011-06-14T11:24:00.000-05:00

One of my friends told me I never know what to get you, you have mostly everything you want, so I'll be posting a online wish list of a few items that I DON'T have that have caught my eye.... #Leggo

I Love the photographer Audrey Woulard! I have not had time to take her workshop yet, but she has a book out that I must have!!!!

Audrey Woulard Book!

My Response To Tracy Morgan.....

2011-06-14T11:03:00.000-05:00

So it's been almost a week since the United States was shaken by Tracy Morgan's "I'd kill my son if he were gay comment during a stand up performance in California. I have never been a huge fan of Morgan myself, but I will say that didn't help him earn any brownie points with me either (no pun intended).

What exactly he meant by that we may never know, you cannot get too offended when comedians make fun of social relevant and sometimes not so relevant issues. My disappointment came primarily from someone in his position in the black community where you've been given a chance that many young men dream of, and you make a fool out of yourself, and this is not the first time for Morgan.

We live in a society where black men, particularly same gender loving, gay and bisexual black men have it the HARDEST. Our death rates higher than other race, many of us are in some kind of way tangled up in the criminal justice system, lacking education, role models, and the list goes on, so when you have a black father say something like that about disowning his own child it makes me look beyond the whole "gay" thing.

"I know how bad bullying can hurt," Morgan said. "I was bullied when I was a kid. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I never want to use my comedy to hurt anyone. My family knew what it was like to feel different. My brother was disabled and I lost my father to AIDS in 1987.... Parents should support and love their kids no matter what. Gay people deserve the same right to be happy in this country as everyone else. Our laws should support that." -Tracy Morgan (Huffpost.com)

Well I am glad his PR people helped him come up with that, but my question is, why did it take you have to try to clean up a terrible situation for all of this to come out. Why do so many black men hide so many things about what's going on in our lives, and how we truly feel? These are the exact reasons we are dying at the number we are. People are too careless when it come to other people lives.

I am really getting tired of this. It makes me revisit the whole Eddie Long case, why do black men in great postions keep making these mistakes that make all of us look bad, then trying to clean them up only make THEM look even more stupid. We MUST do better!

@uppiTEAomar on Twitter! Follow Me!

The time is now: Mavs are NBA champs

2011-06-13T11:20:00.000-05:00

MIAMI — For Dirk Nowitzki, the resume is complete. He's an NBA champion.

For LeBron James, the agonizing wait continues for at least one more year.

Avenging what happened five years ago in perfect turnabout style, the Dallas Mavericks won their first NBA title by winning Game 6 of these finals in Miami 105-95 on Sunday night — celebrating on the Heat's home floor, just as Dwyane Wade and his team did to them in the 2006 title series. The Mavericks won four of the series' last five games, a turnabout that could not have been sweeter.

"I really still can't believe it," said Nowitzki, who had 21 points and took home finals MVP honors.

"Tonight," Jason Terry said after leading Dallas with 27 points, "we got vindication."

James did not. Not even close, and a year unlike any other ended they way they all have so far — with him still waiting for an NBA title.

He scored 21 points for Miami, shook a few hands afterward, and departed before most of the Mavs tugged on their championship hats and T-shirts. Chris Bosh had 19, Mario Chalmers 18 and Dwyane Wade 17 for the Heat.

"We worked so hard and so long for it," Nowitzki said. "The team has had an unbelievable ride."

So did the Heat. Unlike Dallas, theirs wasn't a joyride.

"It goes without saying," Heat coach Erik Spoelstra said. "You're never really prepared for a moment like this. ... Neither team deserved this championship more than the other, but Dallas earned it."

Make no mistake: Miami lost the finals, but the blame will be directed at James. Even he knew that after the way he left Cleveland with "The Decision" and all the animus that generated not just in Ohio but around the entire league, the only way he could silence some critics was with a title.

Instead, he got more criticism — and a thinly veiled jab from his former owner with the Cavaliers, Dan Gilbert, who reveled in the moment on Twitter.

"Mavs NEVER stopped & now entire franchise gets rings," Gilbert wrote. "Old Lesson for all: There are NO SHORTCUTS. NONE."

Mavs coach Rick Carlisle joined a highly elite group, those with NBA titles as both a player and a head coach. Only 10 other men are on that list, including the presumably retired-for-good Phil Jackson, one of Carlisle's mentors in K.C. Jones, and Heat President Pat Riley — who led Miami past Dallas in 2006, and was the mastermind of what the Heat did last summer by getting James, Wade and Bosh on the same team with an eye on becoming a dynasty.

It might still happen, of course.

But even after 72 wins this season, including playoffs, the Heat lost the last game. And that means this year was a disappointment — except to just about everyone else in the NBA, or so it would seem.

"This is a true team," Carlisle said. "This is an old bunch. We don't run fast or jump high. These guys had each other's backs. We played the right way. We trusted the pass. This is a phenomenal thing for the city of Dallas."

Hating the Heat became the NBA's craze this season, and the team knew it had no shortage of critics, everyone from Cleveland (where "Cavs for Mavs" shirts were popular during these finals) to Chicago (the city James and Wade both flirted with last summer) and just about every place in between lining up to take shots at Miami.

Given their newfound popularity, meet the new America's Team.

Sorry, Cowboys — your long-held moniker might have to be ceded to your city's NBA club. When it was over, Mavs owner Mark Cuban ran onto the court to hug Carlisle, then punched the air and whooped.

"I'm so happy for him. I'm so happy for Dirk," Carlisle said.

Carlisle said Riley came down to congratulate the Mavericks after the game, showing "unbelievable class."

"Their time will come," Carlisle said. "But now, it's our time."

When the Mavericks took a 2-0 lead in Dallas during the '06 finals, plans for their victory parade were announced. The Mavs didn't win another game in that series.

Now, that parade will finally happen. And when it's over, then the league's uncertainty will truly begin. Labor strife likely awaits, and although more talks geared toward movement on a new deal are scheduled for this week, both owners and players are bracing for a lockout to begin once the current collective bargaining agreement expires June 30.

Late Sunday night, the CBA was the last thing on the mind of the new champions of the NBA, whom Carlisle called "the most special team I've ever been around."

Jason Kidd, at 38 years old, got his first championship. Nowitzki got his at 32, Terry at 33. They were featured on the video screen in their building in Dallas during this series on what seemed like a constant loop, each posing with the NBA trophy and looking longingly at it, standing mere inches from it, as if to say "so close, yet so far away."

No more.

It's theirs.

Nowitzki sealed it with 2:27 left, hitting a jumper near the Miami bench to put Dallas up 99-89, and some fans actually began leaving. Nowitzki walked to the Mavs' side slowly, right fist clenched and aloft.

He knew it. Everyone did. Spoelstra implored his team to foul in the final minute, and even then, they couldn't catch the Mavericks.

"All I remember is telling those guys that they deserved it," Bosh said. "Hands down, they were the better team in this series. ... All we can do is just admit it and move forward."

What happens with the next deal may affect the Heat more than anyone. Some owners will insist on a hard cap, rolled-back salaries and, potentially, trying to bust some current deals — which could break up the Big 3 before get another chance to win a title together.

A gloomy end to the season may bring an even gloomier offseason for Miami.

"Every situation has felt like it was an our-back-against-the-wall situation," James said Sunday morning, hours before Game 6 began. "We've been able to figure it out and find our way through and scratch our way through. This is the last test. This is the last pop quiz for us that we need to pass in order to make it all worth it."

They didn't pass. So therefore, it wasn't all worth it. Except, of course, from the Dallas perspective.

Miami had chances to take command and wasted them all. The Heat missed 13 of their 33 free throws, let the Mavericks score 27 points off turnovers and simply could not get a rebound in the final minutes.

Nowitzki finished 9 for 27, and the Mavs still won. He was 1 for 12 in the first half, and they were still ahead, 53-51, thanks largely to Terry's 19 points on 8-of-10 shooting.

"Was he unbelievable tonight or what?" marveled Nowitzki.

Down the stretch, Terry made another contribution. He grabbed Nowitzki during a time-out, telling him, "Remember '06." The final minutes belonged to Dirk and the Mavs, and a few German flags waved in Miami's arena during the postgame celebration.

"This feeling, to be on the best team in the world, it's just undescribable," Nowitzki said.

After James got off to such a fast start, he had two points in the final 19-plus minutes of the half.

James didn't score in the second half until a layup with 1:49 remained in the third — his first field-goal attempt since 1:05 remained in the half. Kidd made a 3-pointer late in the period, pushing the Dallas lead to 79-71, and it seemed like the only people standing in the arena were the players, referees, Cuban and a few guys around the Dallas bench.

Dallas took control in the second half after some wild back-and-forths in the opening two quarters. Miami took its last lead of the game — the season — just 64 seconds into the second half, lost it 16 seconds later and chased the Mavericks the rest of the way.

They never caught them.

"I can't believe the journey," said Kidd, who lost two previous finals trips with the New Jersey Nets. "The journey, the character of my teammates telling me they wanted to get me a championship. Tonight they came out and played well. I came here twice, this being my third time so third time was the lucky charm."

It was 81-72 entering the fourth, after Ian Mahinmi made a foul-line jumper as time expired in the third, just his third basket of the entire series.

None were bigger. The Mavs could taste a title.

"We had no champions on this team," Mavs center Tyson Chandler said. "And we walked away with a team full of champions."

Of the principal characters from the 2006 series, only Cuban, Nowitzki and Terry remain from the Mavericks' side, and for them, the beginning of this championship celebration seemed sweeter than even they could have imagined. Terry won't have to get his tattoo — the one of the NBA championship trophy — removed, which he vowed to have done if Miami won this series. Nowitzki will never be in the conversation of 'Best player without a title' again.

James is clearly the one with that most-unwanted label now.

NOTES: Carlisle improved to 11-3 as a coach with a chance to close out an opponent. ... James got a 21-minute rest in the second quarter in real time, thanks to a midcourt dustup and the referees taking several minutes to look at replays before doling out the technicals. ... Marc Anthony sang the national anthem, then took a courtside seat near the Heat bench.

Simply Mav-elous!

2011-06-13T11:13:00.000-05:00

Marsha Ambrosius [I Love Her & Her New Video]

2011-06-13T10:51:00.000-05:00

By: @UppiTEAomar

So I have been feeling Marsha Ambrosius since her Floetry days. When she released her solo project I was sooo excited, not just because I love new artist, but because her sound is sooo amazing. I've been jamming the title track off of her debut album "Late Nights and Early Mornings" for about two or three months now, and I always wanted her to make it her next single. I go word that it was indeed going to be her next single, and a video was going to come soon. I woke up watched it, but didn't pay much attention until I wanted to watch it again. In her last video for Far Away it was an instant hit, she addressed hate crimes in the LGBT community. This video was shared with me by so many people, and I heard nothing but great things, and now with her video for her latest single Late Nights and Early Mornings, she addresses PERSONAL responsibility for protecting yourself! The video is amazing, the men were HOT, and the message was crystal clear!!! I love me some Marsha! I have always said that it is everyone personal responsibility to protect themselves when sexually active and this video painted a very clear picture of this....and the use of the Magnums was wonderful! Big ups Marsha!!!!

Links:
Marsha on itunes
The Official Marsha Ambroshus Site
Marsha's Facebook Page [LIKE]
Twitter @MarshaAmbrosius

E. Lynn Harris: Tracey Edmonds to Produce Film Version of 'Invisible Life'

2011-06-10T08:19:00.002-05:00

E. Lynn Harris' novels are coming to the big screen. (Getty)

By: Nsenga Burton | Posted: June 9, 2011

Those of you missing the work of the late novelist E. Lynn Harris have another way to connect with him. Tracey Edmonds of Edmonds Entertainment, and Proteus Spann of Proteus E2 Productions, have structured a multipicture deal to develop the extensive library of novels by New York Times best-selling author E. Lynn Harris into feature films.

The first production in this overall creative development deal will be E. Lynn Harris' blockbuster first novel, Invisible Life, which will be jointly produced by Edmonds Entertainment and Proteus E2 with Shelia Ducksworth, Glendon Palmer and Javon Johnson as co-producers. Screenwriter Ted Witcher (Love Jones) has been brought on to adapt the novel for the big screen.

Harris passed away two years ago but had already brokered this deal before his untimely death. Shortly after closing the deal over dinner in Hollywood, Harris died from a heart attack in his hotel room. Harris authored 10 consecutive New York Times best-seller books, and Invisible Life sold more than 1 million copies and is still in print 15 years after publication. Harris' novels were wildly popular for bringing issues like "down-low" behavior to the forefront and engaging discussions about sexuality.

Edmonds says about Harris, "E. Lynn Harris entrusted Proteus and myself with his dream of seeing his books translated into film. After his tragic passing, we are even more determined to see his dream become a reality. With his first blockbuster novel, Invisible Life, we begin the journey that millions of his fans have traveled."

Spann adds, "My dear friend E. Lynn was a man with an unshakable spirit and an unbreakable passion to inspire and change lives. He entrusted with me his vision and the responsibility to produce this American coming-of-age love story accurately through the lens of sensitivity in which it was originally created. This project is a must for his millions of fans. Because if we were all honest, we would acknowledge that we all live a portion of our lives 'invisible.' "

AIDS: 30 Years is Enuf! (Check Out My Essay)

2011-06-06T09:19:00.000-05:00

This report by the Black AIDS Institute marks the 30th anniversary of the first official report on the emergence of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. Over three decades, AIDS has radically altered our world, reshaping entire regions of the world, changing people's relationship with their own sexuality, dramatically accelerating social and cultural change, and producing some of the most important scientific advances of the last century. (My essay is on page 55)

Full Report Link Here

Settlement reached in Eddie Long case | ajc.com

2011-05-26T17:23:00.000-05:00

Settlement reached in Eddie Long case | ajc.com

Black Gay HIV Positive Dating and Disclosure via www.blackgaymensblog.com

2011-05-25T15:34:00.000-05:00

The Black Gay Men’s Blog advice column, Ask Storm, kicks off with a letter from Wes, a 26 year old black gay male living in Oakland, who has been dating a guy for a month and is worried about disclosing his HIVpositive status. I have received quite a few letters seeking advice already, but chose to publish this one first, because it is something a lot of black gay men have to deal with, even if we don’t talk about it. Getting back into the dating game can be quite daunting for the HIV positive individual. It is common for some to totally withdraw from the dating scene and stop having sex, because they see themselves as damaged goods and fear rejection. When to disclose is a question asked by HIV positive people of all races, but as black gay men(in the United States) the fear is very real. The stigma of being HIV positive is still a major issue in the black community, which is ironic given the stats. The decision to disclose to potential love interests or sex partners is a very personal one and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Once you have uttered those words, I am HIV positive, you can’t take them back. The more understanding we are, as black gay men, about how difficult it is for some brothers to disclose, the easier it will become for us to have honest dialog. I would like to use this opportunity not just to address Wes’ concerns, but also to make us all think. What would you do if the guy you have been dating told you he was HIV positive? Is it a deal breaker? Would your decision be based on emotion and irrational fear or facts? Would you ditch the greatest man you ever met because of his HIV status?

Dear Storm,
I am a 26 year old black gay male in Oakland, CA and I need some advice on how to deal with the situation I’m in. I’ll try and make it brief. I have been HIV positive for 2 years, but really only started dealing with it a year ago. The first year was a mixture of shock and denial and I basically went to work, came home drank, smoked blunts and locked myself away. Hardly any socializing, no sex etc. About a year ago, I started slowly dealing with my HIV status, went to the doctor, got on meds etc. I started to accept that I was HIV positive and would have to deal with it for the rest of my life. One thing I definitely wasn’t looking forward to was dating and having the HIV talk.
Anyways, about a month ago I went to a spoken word event and met this sexy-azz brother. It was instant chemistry and we were both very comfortable with each other, like old friends or something. We went for drinks after the event and then he asked me back to his place. We were having such a great time, convo flowing, lil buzz going and I hadn’t felt so good in so long. The minute we kissed, it was over, I was like a thirsty mofo, hungry to be touched, like I had come alive again and the next thing I knew we were naked having hot sex. As much as I hadn’t been touched for ages, he wanted me just as much and there was no awkward first time sex, which sometimes happens – it all just flowed.
We have been seeing each other, getting to know each other and we’ve had sex five more times since. We are really feeling each other, get on great and have been pretty inseparable etc. I know I should have told him, but it all happened so fast and each day that passes it gets harder. I am so scared of losing him. We have never had the HIV conversation, which I find kinda weird, he is 32. We always use condoms apart from once when we were both very drunk and high on weed and he entered me raw. I freaked out and after about 2 minutes and he put a condom on. We flip-flop, but he has topped me more, coz I ‘m so paranoid about topping him even with a condom without him knowing my status. My viral load is undetectable by the way.
I am so terrified of losing him coz I feel he could be the one. How do I handle this without ruining everything and losing him. I have to tell him soon, coz I’ve already started acting weird and moody – the guilt is killing me, but I know how black gay men can be when it comes to HIV.
Please help!
Wes in Oakland.

I Slept With My Ex Last Nite (The Doo Doo Face) Xem VanAdams

2011-05-25T15:15:00.000-05:00

I Love me some Xem VanAdams!!!

Get informed! National HIV/AIDS Strategy

2011-05-25T14:41:00.000-05:00

Learn more about the National HIV/AIDS Strategy.

One of the President’s top HIV/AIDS policy priorities is the development and implementation of a National HIV/AIDS Strategy (NHAS). There are three primary goals for the NHAS:

Reducing HIV incidence
Increasing access to care and optimizing health outcomes
Reducing HIV-related health disparities

The Administration has maintained a commitment to developing the NHAS through a process that is inclusive of a broad range of perspectives and stakeholders, and the Office of National AIDS Policy (ONAP) has engaged public involvement via multiple channels.

Vision

Our vision for a national strategy is a concise plan for moving the country forward. Predicated on building on what we are currently doing, it will identify a small number of high payoff action steps that need to be taken to achieve each of the President’s goals. We envision the strategy being a document that provides a roadmap for policymakers and the general public. We anticipate that the strategy will clearly describe the areas that require the most immediate change, the specific action steps that must be taken by the Federal Government and a variety of stakeholders, and specific targets for measuring our progress toward achieving the President’s goals.

Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” Read more: Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” | Necole Bitchie.com

2011-05-19T17:36:00.002-05:00

Thu, May 19 2011 by Bitchie Staff | Filed Under: Celebrities

Professional basketball legend Charles Barkley is known for his off the wall remarks and hilarious half-time reporting, but it was his recent interview with sports reporter Mike Wise that got people’s attention, as he discussed gay players in the NBA.Recently Rick Welts, CEO of the Phoenix Suns, Charles’ former basketball team, came out as being gay, which once again put the spotlight on the topic of homosexuality in the NBA. When asked whether this new revelation would aid in making other NBA players more comfortable with making their sexual orientation public, Charles claimed that he’s played with many gay players in the past and doesn’t see what the big deal is about. He said that there were gay players on two out of the three teams he’s played with in his career:

“I really like ESPN. They do a great job. But like once every two or three months, they bring all these people on there, and they tell me how me and my team are going to respond to a gay guy.
“First of all, every player has played with gay guys. It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say: ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.”

He also spoke on if he had a fear of showering or being in the locker room with a gay teammate, saying:

“A guy is never going to put himself in that situation in a professional locker room. It never crossed my mind, and I never felt any different about the guy.”
“They’re not going to do anything in the locker room. Doesn’t work like that.”
“Any professional athlete who gets on TV or radio and says he never played with a gay guy is a stone-freakin’ idiot. I would even say the same thing in college. Every college player, every pro player in any sport has probably played with a gay person.”
“First of all, society discriminates against gay people. They always try to make it like jocks discriminate against gay people. I’ve been a big proponent of gay marriage for a long time, because as a black person, I can’t be in for any form of discrimination at all.”
“We gossiped behind each other’s back before; I’ll be the first to admit that. The first people who whine and complain is them Bible-thumpers, who are supposed to be non-judgmental, who rail against them.[...] I don’t worry about what other people do.”

Preach!
Source

Do Gay Men Fear Intimacy?

2011-05-19T16:48:00.000-05:00

Does ‘sexual minority stress’ cause gay men to fear emotional commitment and pursue open relationships?

I worked with a gay male therapy client—let’s call him Jim—who came in for individual therapy because his partner refused couples counseling. He was distressed because he felt “strong-armed” into an open relationship, leaving him with a sense of insecurity and anxiety. I soon realized that one thing this couple didn’t try was having an open, heart-felt communication about their struggles with intimacy and trust.
There have been a number of studies suggesting that many gay male couples who negotiate open relationships report satisfaction and fulfillment. But for some, does the decision to open the relationship reflect mistrust and a fear of intimacy and emotional commitment?
While gay men desire and create meaningful, loving relationships, their traumatic experiences growing up in a heteronormative culture—like homophobia and rejection—lead some to refuse conventions in heterosexual relationships (monogamy, marriage, children, etc.).
Like straight men, gay men are socialized away from intimacy. Expressing a need for intimacy and closeness is often viewed as weak. Sometimes, entering into a relationship with a man comes with worries about their promiscuity—will they cheat?
Gay men not only internalize negative cultural messages about being men—and about what it means to be gay. The fear about vulnerability might partly be due to shaming experiences during early development, such as bullying and harassment for not conforming to gendered expectations.

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Ilan H. Meyer, Ph.D. and other researchers use the term “sexual minority stress” to refer to manifestations of sexual orientation stigma. Gay life often includes a variety of stressful emotions and worries resulting from familial and societal rejection, discrimination, and stigmatization.

Like straight men, gay men are socialized away from intimacy.

Sexual minority stress begins during youth when boys are learning how to develop relationships. During this development, the template for creating adult relationships is formed.
Many older gay men report that when they came out, they accepted the idea that their future would be a string of sexual encounters without marriage, children, or family. While this is reported less frequently in younger gay men today, some gay men still refuse to consider that they might meet someone and want to have a long term, loving, and exclusive relationship with another man.
Today, families and society are more likely to support straight youth as they undertake sexual and social changes. They are given guidance on how to date, how to initiate and maintain love, and how to heal from rejection. Typically gay adults who struggle significantly with romantic relationships didn’t receive this support.
Gay men also share with women the harms of sexual objectification. Indeed, we can say this of all men given the inevitable media stereotyping of men. What messages are given to gay men in magazines, billboards, social websites like Gay.com, and other advertisements? Being attractive and free sexual beings is well regarded, overshadowing messages of long-term monogamous relationships, family, and interdependence.

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What does the internalization of these messages look like? My client, Jim, is one example. Common psychological symptoms from internalizing negative messages about men and homosexuality are low self-esteem, self-deprecation, depression, anxiety, fear of showing vulnerability, hypermasculinity, difficulty letting go of mistrust, and keeping an emotional distance.
Relationships work if a couple can walk the fine line of closeness and separateness, intimacy and autonomy. Relationships are strengthened by societal recognition and an identity as a couple.
Entering into couple’s therapy, incorporating family and friends into the newly formed system, advocating for marriage, and forming a partnership and family are all examples of ways that the relationship is legitimized. Allowing for the other to maintain a sense of autonomy and individuality requires trust. Affiliation and dependency require comfort with vulnerability, shared decision making, and working to keep the relationship exciting and resilient through disappointments.

♦◊♦

This article isn’t intended to pathologize gay men in open relationships, but to consider if open relationships are a way to minimize or even avoid the need for mutual commitment, vulnerability, intimacy, and emotional closeness. Clearly, many gay men desire meaningful and loving relationships. But monogamy is a deal-breaker for some.
Researchers for The Couples Study recruited 86 gay male couples in long-term open relationships. It included mostly white men aged 33-81 (average age was 51). The researchers, also in an open relationship, believe they have destroyed the myth that opening the relationship is the beginning of the end. Several participants reported that their open relationship honored autonomy, personal freedom, and alleviated the frustration of being with the same person. This was especially endorsed by couples who agreed on an open relationship from the start.
Some couples who opened the relationship at a later time reported struggling with disagreement and tension, knowing how much communication was necessary, understanding the differences in need for sexual freedom and exploration, and uncomfortable feelings. Often, a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was enacted to deal with insecurities and stress.

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Undoubtedly, some couples in open relationships are fulfilled. Whatever the relationship, good partners are open, honest, and willing to negotiate the terms of their relationship.
The gay male couple will serve their relationship best by healing their insecurities, confronting their fears of failure, challenging societal assumptions about gay couples, and understanding that boredom may be a manifestation of fear and doubt about one’s ability to love. A willingness to be vulnerable while looking at what is behind their view of love and intimacy will likely lead to successful, loving relationships, in whatever form they take.

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Joshua Matacotta, M.A. is a fourth-year doctoral student at the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University in San Francisco, California. His research interests are in the area of health psychology and the examination of factors contributing to the physical and mental health of LGBT individuals.

♦◊♦

More from Sex Week at the Good Men Project:

Amanda Marcotte: What Women Don’t Tell You

Ed Fell: 10 Secrets to Satisfying Sex

Charles Allen: Why I Hate My Giant Dong

Emily Heist Moss: Does Size Matter?

John DeVore: Multiple Inches of Love

Joshua Matacotta: Do Gay Men Fear Intimacy?

Hugo Schwyzer: Mythbusting Bisexual Men

—Photo waitscm/Flickr

Let's Go Dallas Mavericks!

2011-05-17T16:02:00.000-05:00

http://www.nba.com/video/channels/playoffs/2011/05/10/20110510_dal_lal_series_recap.nba

HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, 2011

2011-05-17T15:50:00.000-05:00

HIV Vaccine Awareness Day provides an opportunity to acknowledge the more than 35,000 individuals who have volunteered for preventive HIV vaccine trials over the past 25 years. Without their participation, the modest success that we have achieved thus far would not have been possible. Many thousands more volunteers will be needed if we are going to achieve our ultimate goal of developing a safe and effective vaccine that will help stop the spread of HIV worldwide.

Since the discovery of HIV in 1983, dozens of antiretroviral agents have been licensed and have resulted in dramatic improvements in the quality of life and life expectancy of millions of HIV-infected individuals. In addition, global access to these life-saving therapies has been progressively increasing, which not only benefits the HIV-infected individual, but makes them less likely to transmit the virus to their sexual partners. However, for every individual who gains access to these therapies globally, two to three individuals become newly infected. Treatment alone is not likely to rid the world of AIDS; the need for improved approaches to prevent new HIV infections is compelling.

Fortunately, through the combined support of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), other US Government agencies, nonprofit organizations, and others, progress in developing new technologies that prevent HIV infection has been notable. Adult male circumcision resulted in greater than 50% protection against HIV acquisition among heterosexual men in several African countries. A once a day pill was shown to reduce new infections in men who have sex with men by 44%, and protection appeared even higher in those men who adhered to the daily drug regimen. Promising results have also been achieved with a vaginally applied microbicide, which protected 39% of women in a trial in South Africa. Again, protection was higher in those who adhered to the drug use schedule. Another exciting finding is that a vaccine provided 31% protection in a heterosexual population in Thailand. Interestingly, efficacy appeared to be 60% in the earlier stages of the trial before the vaccine induced immune responses waned.

Our goal now is to improve upon these latter results. Why did this vaccine work and can we build on that knowledge to design more effective vaccines? Will a vaccine adjuvant or vaccine vector increase the level of protection? Can efficacy be achieved in higher incidence populations and in populations exposed to different subtypes of HIV? Will keeping vaccine induced immunity high for a longer period of time increase the duration of protection? Are there alternative approaches to ensuring that effective immunity is present when individuals are exposed to HIV? These are all questions that NIAID together with our partners plans to address through continued basic and clinical research.

Conducting additional clinical vaccine research presents technical, resource and logistical challenges that will require multi-sector, international partnerships to address. Engagement of the private sector and regulatory agencies will help map a path to vaccine licensure. Clinical trial specialists will apply their best strategic thinking to determine how multiple trials can be efficiently and effectively accomplished. Participation of government officials and researchers in the countries where trials will be conducted will ensure that trials are approved and carried out expeditiously and according to the highest ethical standards. Strong partnership with affected communities and trial volunteers will help make certain that they understand the risks and benefits of participation in HIV vaccine trials. Only through continued support and participation of communities and individual trial volunteers will we achieve the goal of identifying a safe and effective preventive vaccine, which would be an invaluable addition to the tool box of prevention approaches.

Anthony S. Fauci, M.D. is the Director, National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), National Institutes of Health
Margaret I. (Peggy) Johnston, Ph.D., is a Senior Scientific Consultant, NIAID

Song of the week....

2011-05-17T15:39:00.000-05:00

This was playing nonstop this past week at Houston Splash! I a loving the song, I give it five stars!

S Magizine May 2011: Going to College Issue

2011-05-17T15:29:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, I am so excited my fotography skills were showcased in the May\June issue of S Magazine here in Dallas. This is the back to school issue be sure to check it out by clicking the link below!

@theSmagazine

http://thesmagazine.com/ Offiicial Website

http://issuu.com/thesmagazine/docs/mayjune

When Magic Johnson famously announced he had HIV, it wasn't clear how long he'd live. Twenty years later, he tells Newsweek’s Allison Samuels of his struggles, fears, and triumphs.

2011-05-17T15:16:00.000-05:00

Earvin "Magic" Johnson isn't the reflective type. He tends not to dwell on the past or even second-guess the decision he made 10 minutes ago. So when asked if he often thinks about that chilly November morning in 1991 when he stood onstage at the Great Western Forum in Los Angeles and announced to the world that he'd contracted HIV, the former point guard flashes his signature smile and shakes his head: no. "I don't look back that much at all, and I don't spend a lot of time on regrets," says Johnson. "I do regret putting my family and my wife, Cookie, through that entire experience and having to deal with certain things. But that's really the only regret I have."

Read Full Story Here

First Lady Obama Addresses 2011 Spelman Class; Joins Debbie Allen, Phylicia Rashad as Honorees

2011-05-16T16:58:00.000-05:00

First Lady Obama Addresses 2011 Spelman Class; Joins Debbie Allen, Phylicia Rashad as Honorees

"AM I MY BROTHER'S KEEPER?"

2011-04-27T14:23:00.001-05:00

*My personal look into one of the major issues facing young black same gender loving and gay me in 2011.

gay/gā/

Adjective: (of a person, esp. a man) Homosexual.

Noun: A homosexual, esp. a man.

I don't know how to start this post, it has been coming for quite sometime, and I pray that everyone that reads this gets something or better yet somethings out of it.To be a young black man living in America in 2011 is still a tough task considering it seems we have many odds against us. In almost every major metropolitan area in this great United States of America we can be considered the most fashionable, the most creative, and some of the best friends in the world. I myself from a very young age knew I was different from what society deemed as normal. I had no desire to play basketball, football or run track. I loved to paint, play with tea sets, and go with my mother to the beauty shop. I was the youngest of three children, from one of the most loving mothers you will find in the world. My father was taken from me at age five in a terrible accident, and little did I know that would forever change my life in so many way where I am here 20 + year later dealing with the effects of loosing a parent. We grew up with grandparents, relatives and family friends telling us, to be tough, fight for what was right, and never to be a "punk" or "cissy". Many of my peers went into shells where they felt the only way they would belong would be to try their hardest to be normal, becasue as one of my own friends told me he felt there was no such thing as a black gay man. Young black men are not often encouraged to get counseling or physiological services to deal with just everyday life, especially in our youth. If we read or write or paint we are "soft" or as one of my uncles referred to me as "different". Many of us come from strong women, women who have lost faith after being hurt so many times by the men that are supposed to love them. We grow to be tuff, nothing less is acceptable. When we cry people rarely understand, and we are told to dry those tears and be strong, but no one has every defined what strong is or may be. Little do we know this is what is killing off our community one by one.

As I ride the trains and busses here in Dallas, TX daily, I often see many youth from ten to twenty something feeling the same and just looking different. From various different backgrounds we all share some of the same issues in our daily lives, and we deal with them very differently. In late 2010 I took a job working for the University of California San Francisco Center for AIDS Prevention Studies, I didn't know just how much that job would change my life, and force me to dig deep into the issues facing young black men. As one of my mentors told me just yesterday it not use in scaring people with statistics, because we are educated, and we barely understand them, so I won't bore you telling you just how many young black men are living with HIV-AIDS, and how many are at risk, and how many are not getting tested, I'll choose to speak on so topics that we don't really share.

As I was preparing to move to Dallas in 2010, I received a call from a lady. She was a friend of mine of facebook, we had never met, just talked on facebook about how to best deal with her young son's sexuality. I pride myself on being a expert on young black men, for I am one, I don't tell people what I heard, and what I think they want to hear, I tell them what I have lived, and what I am living. You can conduct all of the studies on us in the world, but it's much better to just sit down and talk to us, well those of us that are willing to talk. She told me to call her, it was urgent, I did. He son had tested positive for the HIV. Even with as much knowledge as I have about HIV it still takes me to a lace each and every time I get a call or have a conversation about this epidemic. She questioned whether or not there was anything she could have done better, and where to go from there. I had to explain to her first hand that HIV was no longer the death sentence it was even into the early 1990's. I explained to her the severity of it's existence still, but the hope that becasue it was caught early, the better off her baby would be. I keep in contact with her, and prepare her for everything, and I am happy to report he is doing well. As happy as I was to assist with that situation I knew she was most likely one in a hundred mothers that actually trusted someone else enough to help her with the process. I told her she is am amazing example of what and who a mother should be.

When you deal with HIV, it's so complex. I look at it as the whore in high school, if she screws the entire football team, she will never live that down, people will still be talking about it at the class reunion. In the 30 years old HIV much of Black America ignored it, and stigmatized it so much to the point now that even though people are living completely normal lives with it as with many other diseases and illnesses no one wants to deal with it.

If you are a young black man and gay, you cannot be normal. People feel guilty and ashamed of you. Many of my peers cannot and will not talk to their closest family members about what struggles they deal with daily, we often turn to each other. The only problem that I have with that is this, even as we are living this life, even though we experience similar issues, not many of us are willing to help our brothers out, nor are we equip to. We go to churches that further drum this whole masculinity complex into us, where many are forced into living lies. We don't have the support that young hetrosexuals have in the world, and that is why we do some of the things we do, and say the things we say. A lot of us don't know the true meaning of being a brother's keeper, therefore when you have a growing epidemic like HIV in America, we cannot talk about it. I found out that one of my peer mentors, someone who I admire so much recently tested positive for HIV, and I knew what I had to do, although I was hurting inside, I had to quickly get over that hurt, and step into a place to be there for him at anytime, as the first year is the most difficult for many young men. HIV scares us so much that we don't talk about it like we do fashion or even sex. When I had a discussion with my best friend about how I was feeling he said "Terrance, I feel like we are living in the 1980's and the sad thing is most of us were born in the years HIV was first discovered." White America is dealing with the epidemic so much better, they have a better understanding of the virus, treatment options, and they have developed numerous organizations to help combat the problem, but we as a black community lack those. It's more that telling people to get tested, and giving them condoms it's about building a community of brothers, that understand the importance of protecting each other, and are willing to fight this epidemic. About a month ago I found out one of my friends is gravely ill from complications caused by HIV, this person whom I have partied, traveled, and grown up with over the past 10 years, simply told me and other members of our group that he just wants to die, and to know that I have the knowledge and tools at my disposal and still have someone I consider a close friend to tell me that, nearly sent me into pieces. When a 24 year old man gives up on life, that's a terrible thing. I simply told him, and his mother I would be here for them no matter what, and the offer still stand if he wants help, I'll make sure he gets it. I get phone calls almost daily from people wondering where to go and what to do. I pride myself of being knowledgeable, trustworthy, and a support tool for those impacted by this terrible virus. I decided to take a stand, and with God guiding the way I want to be a leader in the education, treatment, and cure for the stigma, and ignorance of ten associated with something that is killing my brothers. In six months I have learned so much and I am here to share this knowledge with my community, and I am learning daily. I have been blessed to meet and work with people like Mr. Phill Wilson from the Black AIDS Insitiute, Susan Kegeles Ph. D, Mr. Robert Williams, and Greg Rebchook PhD, all from UCSF CAPS, and a vast array of other individuals that have deeply impacted my wanting to work in this field even more. To my buddies our here in the trenches with me I love you all, Guy Williams in NYC, Doran, Dallas, and Terrance A, here in Dallas, Cedric in Jackson, MS, Joe, and Broderick in Charlotte, NC, Jason Black, Jeffery Campbell, Kevin Anderson, and Tim'm West in Houston, Darrianne Martin, Harold Steward and all of my brothers and sisters doing your part in this field all of you make me keep wanting to go further an further until every young man of color is treated and properly knows how to protect and care for himself and his brothers. To my brother from another and absolute best friend in the world Brandon D. Mack thank you so much for all of the love and support you send my way, I only pray that other young same gender loving men of color can share the natural unique brother hood we share in their friendship. And to my adopted sister, auntie, Dallas-Mama figure Dr. Mel, Kirk the little lady the often forces me look at things from a black woman's point of view , I am only beginning in my journey of helping to shape and define the modern black gay man and kill the stigma involved with HIV in the world today.

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http://twitter.com/TxTROPHYhusband

Additional Resources:

Office Of The National AIDS Policy
Black AIDS Institute
Mpowerment
Housing Works
My Brother's Keeper, INC

E-mail me for a link to other organizations! uppity.brother@gmail.com

Follow Me On Twitter!

2011-04-20T10:42:00.001-05:00

Six Months Later......

2011-04-20T07:47:00.000-05:00

So about seven months ago I received a message that would change my life in so many ways. 2010 was a year what many would say was hellish for various reasons. I lost the love of my life, then found out someone else I really cared for didn't give me same love, respect or consideration I had given him. I prayed for change in my life, and more importantly understanding in all aspects of my life. In late September two associates coached me through the process of applying for a new job in a new city, and helped lay the foundation for a new life. It was exactly ten years ago I started to claim my own truth, back in the Spring of 2001 I was dealing with coming out of the closet into a society where the thought of two men together was not in any way acceptable. Unlike many black same gender loving men I was able to discuss my feelings, experiences and even fears with my family. Not having that hurdle would impact my life in so many more ways. In early October I was offered a job with the University of California San Francisco Center for AIDS Prevention Studies on a research project in Dallas, TX. On the cool autumn morning I arrived in Dallas, TX I didn't know what to expect. I was not fully clear of what it meant to work in a community in which I cared about, but in so many ways felt like I had no say so. I jumped in head first speaking from experiences of being a same gender loving Black man living in the South. I told my stories of survival, the stories of being hurt time and time again, the stories about how I felt alone, and often blocked other even those closest to me out! Six months later I find myself being a mentor, friend, and person people come to with their fears, worries, and experiences. I find myself getting calls from mothers with gay sons and daughters about how to be a supportive parent, and ways to encourage conversations with their children. I've become an advocate for many young brothers both scared of and living with HIV, as I go to the doctor with young men, I find myself familiar with the top doctors, nurses, and social service providers in Dallas, and across the country. Weather it's taking a brother in the hospital with complications from HIV Williams Chicken at Parkland, or having lunch with a mother to give her condoms for her teenage son, I took this bull by the horn. I arrived scared of this city, but I find myself loving it more and more each day as I explore different parts each week. I realized the love you have for yourself can be shown in many ways. I let mine show through my work, and expressing how tremendously blessed I am.

Honoring Dr. Mark Colomb’s Contribution to the Response to HIV

2011-03-28T12:55:00.000-06:00

By Christopher Bates, Executive Director, Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS (PACHA), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Dr. Mark Colomb

This week we lost another leader in the HIV community. Dr. Mark Colomb (1963-2011) was passionately committed to Mississippi and other southern communities; and he focused on responding to the needs of Black men who have sex with men. Dr. Colomb participated in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) consultation which resulted in the establishment of the Minority AIDS Initiative (MAI) in 1997. The MAI provides critical resources to enhance and increase the access of racial and ethnic minorities to HIV/AIDS prevention, care, and treatment services. Dr. Colomb’s work helped pave the way for the creation of National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NBHAAD) , an HIV/AIDS testing and treatment community mobilization initiative targeting the Black community; the founding of My Brother’s Keeper (MBK) , a national organization dedicated to reducing health disparities in African-Americans, where he served as President/CEO; and the Mississippi Urban Research Center (MURC) at Jackson State University (JSU) , which serves as a clearinghouse for dissemination of research data on pressing urban issues.

As we remember Dr. Colomb, I encourage you to watch the following video from the Black AIDS Institute where he speaks about his work in response to HIV in Mississippi:

YouTube - CoacHCouture presents Un_dPHIned_85 3/25/2011

2011-03-25T07:11:00.000-06:00

YouTube - CoacHCouture presents Un_dPHIned_85 3/25/2011

Rod 2.0:Beta #gay #news #lgbt #gaynews: NYC: Vicious Anti-Gay Stomping Death to be Treated as Hate Crime

2011-03-16T07:25:00.000-06:00

Rod 2.0:Beta #gay #news #lgbt #gaynews: NYC: Vicious Anti-Gay Stomping Death to be Treated as Hate Crime

Follow Me On Twitter!

2011-03-16T07:24:00.000-06:00

Un_Dphined_85

Brooklyn HIV/AIDS Conference Addresses Healthcare Disparities, LGBT Leadership | gbmnews.com

2011-01-26T11:39:00.000-06:00

Brooklyn HIV/AIDS Conference Addresses Healthcare Disparities, LGBT Leadership | gbmnews.com

Obama Names William Daley as White House Chief of Staff - BV Black Spin

2011-01-07T06:32:00.000-06:00

Obama Names William Daley as White House Chief of Staff - BV Black Spin

Club Promoter's Death Has Internet Abuzz

2011-01-05T22:33:00.000-06:00

Club Promoter's Death Has Internet Abuzz

When little boys want to dress like little girls....

2011-01-04T10:16:00.000-06:00

Back in 2010, I decided to do so soul searching, and decide where I wanted to be for the next chapter of my life. I decided to start with the man in the mirror (I pray the MJ estate does not sue me). In the type of work I do, I was am faced with many issues from young black men, although we are all different in character, many of our issues are very similar, and not many have wanted to dig a lot deeper. I moved to a new city, opened my mind to new things and exploring the mind.

For many years I avoided physiology in mostly all forms. Traditionally young black men don't seek help for the many problems we face, and with my job I saw, and and seeing this is a problem in our community. We don't talk about the things we are exposed to most of the time, or at least I didn't. In the world we live in often times parents are often far too busy with trying to maintain a household, and sense of "normal" to address a lot of issues that are very present, and can become rather toxic.

Being born black, at 25 I have share many of the issues that a lot of my brothers share, along with issues that a lot of young black men and boys are facing. Please bare with me, I know I jump around, I pray with proper training I will get better with this, but the reading will be great I promise.

I decided in 2011 I was going to lay the foundation to go back to school, I decided I wanted to study something completely different, something that almost untapped. I decided to start working on a degree in counseling\physiology where I study the minds, habits and behaviors of the African-American Man. I am still in the beginning stages of this work, but my outline has started and I feel the link to this story that was posted on a facebook friend's page would spark quite a debate for the good.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I'll admit, I was busy at work, but I had to repost and see what even my own friends and family members would have to say. I woke up this morning viewed the story in it's entirety, and had a few thoughts of my own that I will share.

I knew it would definitely take me back to my own boyhood, At 25 years old I am still dealing with very many issues from my own childhood, issues I blame no one for, but understand they are blessings from God so I can now help others and have understanding in my essence that others might not have for particular individuals, and or situations. As a young boy, I enjoyed more domestic qualities. I enjoyed homemaking, dating back to kindergarten I clearly remember my teacher point out to my mother during open house that my play station was the home station in which it had a little kitchen, table, dishes, and items many little boys would not play with. I enjoyed playing with the girls on the playground in traditional "girl" games, I loved the spring season becasue of the pastel colors. I never had a desire to play sports, but I loved non-traditional African-American sports that most black men were not exposed to such as swimming, polo, and racket ball. My older brother was six years older than I, so we didn't have traditional bonding, and or sports time together, we watched TV together, and by time I came playing age he was done with the playing phase in his life. Instead of going out side and playing sports my mother, god parents and even step father let me play inside with toys, and watch tv. I fell in love with the Cosby Show for all of the traditional values that you see are the "norm" for American families, on television at least. My god mother was a great homemaker, so I learned as much as I could from her, from quilting, to cooking some things I do better than others. My mother always bought me dishes, and if you knew me as a child you know yes I was a little boy with I can finally say it after 20 years a doll house.

I had the Little Tikes Place, which was my favorite toy to this day. I was able to move the furnishings, decorate, and most people understood or for fear of my mother if they had any objections they kept them to themselves. My father's side of the family had objections, but no control, and that is all I will say about that. I had the house, later the stable, I took pride in collecting all of the accessories and building it as I one day wanted to build my own family life like that.

When I was about seven years old, I took all the money I had saved and went to Perry Brother's in Downtown Bryan, and bought a Barbie Doll. Even with buying the Barbie, I knew it was crossing the line, so I hid it for so long until one day my mother found it. Because it was not the norm, or she might have been dealing with the stress of having a "soft" or "feminine" son, she was furious, but even in a loving way after she blew up she sat me down and asked me "Terrance, do you think or want to be a girl?" I simply replied no, but it was what was normal for myself. I threw away the doll, along with some other paper dolls I had, and I noticed after that I did things to try to make myself more " boyish". I enrolled in Basketball in which I was terrible, tried playing football with my cousins, but preferred to be on the sidelines with the little girls cheering. Even through my adolescence, I knew being a cheerleader would not be accepted so I became the mascot so I could get a uniform. I enjoyed dressing nice, fashion, things that most young black men were told to stay away from.

I always understood I was a boy, and now a man, but society had deemed that so many things were for boys and girls. A boy playing with dolls is no different from the a "tom-boy" girl who loves sports, or the outdoors. If a young lady does not feel like cooking, and cleaning for her dad and brothers, and prefers watching football, and working on a car heaven forbid, she is going to be a lesbian, and that's not the case. If a man has good taste or he speaks softly, takes pride in his appearance he is deemed as homosexual, when that is not always the case. This makes me ask where do we draw the line and start creating our own standards for INDIVIDUALS to be INDIVIDUALS not what society thinks is normal? This is far from a gay-straight thing, it's more of a social relevance issue if you ask me. And it's time we start asking and answering some of these questions!

In this particular article I am so in support of his parents. They are showing support, unconditional love, and most importantly they are letting their son be who he wants to be. I think it's too early to label this young man as "gay" or same gender loving. He is just a little boy who knows what he likes, and has been blessed with parents that fully support what he wants for HIS life. I don't appreciate people attacking them, and saying they need help, and they need God, from the looks of things, they seem to be doing very well, and according to society that's all that matters right?

I could go on and on, but in closing I will say this, I am glad to be living in a day where I see on national T.V. black parents and children having open minds. It's sories like this that are signs from God that the work I am planning on doing in the next chapter of my life is very much needed. I welcome all of you comments!!!!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-04T07:12:00.000-06:00

It's 2011! May this be a great year filled with blessings for you! We are looking forward to so many awesome things this year. I invite you to follow me so you get updates as I post more! Have a joyous New Year!

I came, I saw, I CONQUERED! 2010 in the books! Part I

2010-12-30T06:04:00.000-06:00

2010, whew....it's almost over. I must say 2010 has been everything to me! The year started off cold, and just to be honest BAD. I will say overall I have had the most personal growth in 2010 than any other year.
During the past twelve months, I was forced to grow up, deal with problems that had been hurting and haunting me if not all most of my life. I learned the TRUE meanings of both friendship, and family, I was forced to look in the mirror, and the most scary this was I didn't know who or what I was looking at. I spent the better first half of the year depressed on several different levels, I felt sorry for myself, wanted others to feel sorry for me, and I damn near gave up on thinking I would ever be happy in life.

My love life in 2010:

Well I think I learned the most about myself in dating, and I sure as hell know what I am NO longer willing to put up with. Many of you that follow me know, the year started off rocky for me on the dating from, for the most part I thought I had found the love of my life, and even had a backup. I was lied to, cheated on, and just for the lack of better words, royally screwed over. A few times I began to question myself, and considered changing some things to accommodate people in my life, but I had a change of heart! Mid way through the year I prayed for help in the journey of love in my life, and did he answer my prayers. In July I suffered by far the largest set back in my love life to this day, when I got terrible news about someone I was very involved with, and some things he had done, and been involved in. Those I felt that needed to know about that situation know what happened, and for the most part I am done talking about it and him. I will say I now have the PERMANENT separation from him, that was so hard for me to accomplish on my own. A greater power stepped in a told me to move on, and made it possible for me to do so! I feel to talk about it is a part of my daily healing process, but I will say this it showed me that people know me, and know my heart. It made me see who my true friends were, and that my mother has my back no matter what. It's a daily process, but with much prayer, and therapy I am getting over it!

Then there was ONE, someone else I loved almost more than life itself came in and out of my life. We were the best of lovers, but the worst of friends, and that's just not a good combination! I tried to tuff it out, I let him humiliate me time after time, and still tried to be there, but it was clear that we needed to go in different directions. I thought by dating someone that seemed to be older, more mature, and established, it would be great, and it has not. Turns out he lied, he' still very much confused about life, and just needs to so some heavy soul searching, oh well it's no longer my problem!

In late September, a associate gave me the heads up about a possible job opening\position. I was in no place mentally, physically, or financially to just start over, but I knew I needed some change in my life. I prayed long, hard and deep, and decided to really step out on faith. I started taking the steps I needed to be self sufficient, and with only a few hundred dollars (very few), my camera, computer, and a blackberry my sister gave me I decided to take life by the horns.

On Tuesday September 27th, I had the most difficult job interviews of my life. When I went into the room and closed the door, something told clicked in my head and told me "Terrance, this is that chance for change you need, don't blow this, go in and give it your very best." During that interview, my resume, my Alma Matter, attire, and everything we place such a heavy emphasis on didn't matter quite as much. They wanted to know who was Terrance, and honestly at that point, I didn't even know who I was. I don't recall the exact question, but I had to take a pause, and just ask God to step in, and did he. It seemed that over 25 years of bottled up pain and hurt just came out, as my eyes started to water, and my foot started to shake in my shoes uncontrollably. I closed in my interview by just saying "I know I'm great pick because I've lived, I've lost and I'm living." I got the job offer about two weeks later.

Often times we don't realize just how much one has impacted our life until they are no longer with us. I feel my eyes getting heavy as I type this, but it's a part of my process. It was not until early October I realized how blessed I was to have this particular person in my life for 25 years. This is coming from my heart, and I feel the tears falling....To say that my mother's older brother Maxie was a character would not give him the credit as the amazing individual he was. Often times we glorify people after death, and only remember what we want about them, most of the time to make them look good. When you live in a world where we have false perceptions of what perfect is, and what it's supposed to be it's hard to separate the fact from fiction. I am just going to give the facts....

My mother believes in this thing called unconditional love when it comes to family. In life we love the good time, but never talk about the bad times, we are quick to kick people when they are down, and not try to help them up for many different reasons. My uncle was ALWAYS there for my mother. With him always being there for my mother he was always there for me. He showed me examples of what a brother is supposed to do for his children, parents, siblings, and friends. When I was down and out, he could always find the right words to make whatever situation better. One of our most powerful conversations came back in March while we were in the parking lot of a grocery store in my hometown, when he told me "Nephew, your mother has always been there for me no matter, what, when you have so many other (expletive)'s that just use and abuse you, your mother is the same, has been the same no matter, what, and I could not want for another sister. "Whether it's working at Mc Donalds, or sitting behind that computer nephew you find a way to take care of yourself, and make a way to take care of her, and no matter what remember your family, you come from two of the best." He made sure he reinforced for me to take care of her, and show her unconditional love, he said she is very much like her mother, but things she's wanted to change she has, and that what makes her my sis, I trust her with my life." I knew that was important, but I didn't know what else was going to happen, and I didn't expect to be talking about him in the past tense now. In early October, I rode with my mother to pick him up from the hospital in Temple, Texas. I went up to get him while my mom waited, and I never realized the follow hours would be my last time ever talking to him, but in those few hours I learned so much, and he touched on so many different things. He had just gotten off the phone with his oldest son Julian who lives in California, and he said they had a long, great conversation, I told him I was moving to Dallas the following week, and he told me to do my very best, go to work, have fun, and enjoy life. Now that I think back we were close for many reasons, he was friends with my late father, in the later years of their life he had become a permanent fixture around my late God parents' home helping them with odd jobs, and over the past few years he had lived with my family in Bryan. Through the loss of his own mother, he still talked to me, I would take him food, when he was sick I would make him tea, and advise him to take the medication my mother would get, if not there would be hell to pay from her. He heard me cuss one time, and said "Nephew, I don't know who you sound like, you are even proper with your cussing, and I know that's not from my sister or your daddy". I was in New Orleans, LA training for my new job, when my mother called, and told me she had found him in pretty bad condition can he had been rushed to the hospital, for some reason, I knew things would never be the same. As God started doing his work to prepare a place for him in heaven, I just went into prayer and just praised God for having someone in my life so special. I didn't rush down the highways to stand by his bedside, I had been there when only my mother and grandfather were, I felt no need to make anything. The final conversation we had was a great one, and I left it there, When I received the call that he had passed I remember this blank feeling coming across me, but I felt that his battle was won. Designing his funeral program was a honor, this was a person that knew so much about me, and someone I loved dearly. I knew I was going to need to be strong for those that needed it more. It's only been a few weeks, but I know I have another Angel looking out for me. I have become extremely close with my older cousin Julian, it feels great having another artist in the family, and he is so much like his father, and other siblings. Someone said it seems like you two have grown up together, and I said "we are just our parents' sons!

My thought for the week! 12.12.2010-12.19.2010

2010-12-13T06:13:00.002-06:00

Life is a book, I am learning to mark pages, to revisit for reference purposes, but FINISH some chapters for good! 2010 has been a year to remember, and I thank God for all of the wisdom I have gotten over this past year, I am ready to move into the next chapters of my life according to HIS WILL! Have a great week Saints! - Terrance O. Gilbert

A conversation with Cadillac Kimberly

2010-12-09T11:59:00.000-06:00

Uppity Brotha's EXCLUSIVE with THE BOSS Cadillac Kimberly. CK tells why she's NOT homophobic, NOT like Wendy Williams and is embarrassed by The Real Housewives Of Atlanta.

By: Terrance O. Gilbert, http://uppityworld.blogspot.com
Dallas, Texas
Follow me on twitter: @un_dphined_85

http://terrance-omar.tumblr.com/

Cadillac Kimberly has blown up on the blogosphere and You Tube with her commentary on various issues from television reviews, to personal encounters, to advocacy issues, and she is just getting started. Uppity Brotha Terrance O. Gilbert recently was granted an exclusive interview with her on a stop in Dallas for Halloween weekend at The Brick in Dallas, Texas.

“You are special because I don’t do this shit for everyone.” Cadillac Kimberly told UB. “I did my first Vlog as a joke one night, went to bed, woke up the next morning, and my shit had over 8,000 hits on youtube. Sandra Rose really looked out, and I will always be grateful to her.” Originally from Boston, Kimberly calls Atlanta, GA, home. She’s laid back, real down to earth, a bit edgy, and blunt is an understatement.

Uppity Brotha: What’s your zodiac sign?
Cadillac Kimberly: Libra
UB: Are you married?
CK: Not yet, but my husband is on His way.
UB: So how do you plan on marketing yourself?
CK: First off I would like to say that I'm not JUST a comedian, I'm an entertainer. I don't know who started that shit. (she speaks VERY candidly)

I felt the need to ask her how she felt about being compared to Wendy Williams, and even being labeled the “new” Wendy Williams of the South?
CK: I don't, you all do. I bring a LOT more to the table than some "gossip." I bring comedy AND The Word as well. Everything I say is true to the best of my knowledge and how I genuinely feel.

Next UB decided to ask her opinion; was she homophobic? A few things
she said in Vlogs previous caught some people’s attention, and I wanted to give her the chance to clear it up. When I asked the question “So are you
homophobic?” Kimberly paused, looked at me and
said "I don’t know why people think that. I am VERY close friends with Dwight Eubanks (from The Real Housewives of Atlanta). I would kiss him dead in the mouth, but you know he wouldn't be interested. LOL Anybody that know what the fuck is going on knows they have to have a fly ass gay on their team; they provide that balance and fabulosity you need for shit to run correctly. I have 2 that are BEYOND LOYAL on my team. Who even came up with that stupid shit??”
UB: “Kimberly where do you see yourself going? Television, stand up? What?" She simply replied “I don’t tell all my business, just stay tuned.”

UB: How do you feel about the Real Housewives of Atlanta?
CK: I’m embarrassed. They don't represent the ladies of the "A" worth a damn!
UB: Do you think Phedra Parks is a bit much?
CK: To people that don’t know her, but I know her personally and she's fabulous as hell.
UB: Nene Leakes?
CK: Nene is a bully, a broke ass bully bitch at that. Nathan (Ne-Ne), if you are reading this, you need $5? She ain’t shit….
UB: Do you feel more empowered having a black president in
the white house?
CK: No. I approach President Obama the same way as with every situation/person;
with caution. The fact that he's black doesn't automatically make him trustworthy.
UB: What’s your favorite food & cocktail?
CK: Free is my favorite! LOL I like top shelf drinks though. (Kettle One Vodka for sure)
UB: What criticism have you received?
CK: I only receive constructive criticism from those I respect and love. As of late the only criticism has been for me to look up more when doing my Vlogs and I'm working on that.

I decided to take it to a very serious matter that has developed a stigma in the black community. I just had to find out what Cadillac Kimberly's thoughts were on the HIV-AIDS epidemic in the African- American community.

UB: What are your thoughts on the HIV-AIDS Epidemic?
CK: It’s all depends on the person, and their outlook. There was a cure before
there was AIDS….GOD, He’s a HEALER. Your faith can heal you as well, TRUST.

UB: How do you feel about “Downlow” or “DL” men?
CK: They are low down as hell. And they don't have to lie. They would be surprised how many women they would be able to pull just being honest. Lots of women like Bi men. I DON'T, but loads do.
UB: Who are some of the most attractive black men to you?
CK: Let’s see, who would I give some pu**y to? Idris Elba

UB: So what really went down with you and Flirtandflutterlashloft.com’s owner Shae Evans?
CK: Let’s just say everything in that Vlog I said about her was true. We were VERY good friends/business associates. On a scale of 1 to 10 she was an 8, but she spat and shitted on me once she felt she had gotten strong off my strength. Bootleg ass businesswoman. When I filmed the Vlog about the situation it was three days after our argument so you can see just how deep the shit was if I was still that pissed after three days. Bitch. One of her strongest employees now works for me though on the up side. (brushes shoulders off)

Cadillac Kimberly was a JOY to hang with for the time we spent. She says her mission is not to be known as a celebrity, but yet a Humanitarian. She stated that we ALL are celebrities, because the definition of one is a person who is to be celebrated.She was very supportive in my future endeavors and wanted to know more about me, my goals and my aspirations. The most touching part of the interview was when she had some words of encouragement to a female fan in Texas via the phone who felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Cadillac Kimberly might not like labels, but I will say she is on to something. Rarely do you meet down to earth individuals, willing to reach out to others, not let a little bit of popularity or fame change them, and from what I observed, to change is not Cadillac Kimberly’s style. She acted as if she knew me for years, and treated me like anyone would want to be treated.

“I see her becoming one of the most sought after Vloggers because of her style, and ability to speak from the soul" a MediaMogul said recently.“I see her taking off and within the next year doing some HUGE things."

Uppity Brotha was honored to get to spend some time with this individual that’s quickly becoming the talk of the community of young African-Americans, and we hope to be on her team.

We would like to send a special shout out to Cadillac Kimberly’s entire team (whom she affectionately refers to as #TEAMCADDY) who made this interview possible, and
special thanks to Roy Murray of Dallas for bringing this talented professional entertainer to Dallas!

www.cadillackimberly.com

Photo Credits: Trademark Fotography & Design Dallas, TX
Check us out!
http://uppityworld.blogspot.com
http://trademarkfotography.blogspot.com
Story: Terrance O. Gilbert
Dallas, Texas
Uppity.brotha@gmail.com

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2010-11-28T09:51:00.000-06:00

the [Cancerian]

2010-11-28T08:43:00.001-06:00

22nd June to 23rd July

Strengths Weaknesses
Adaptable Moody
Loyal Sensitive
Attached to family Emotional
Empathetic

Symbol: The Crab
Ruling Planet: Moon
Quality: Cardinal
Element: Water
Basic Trait: I Feel
Closest Metal: Silver
Lucky Day: Monday
Lucky Colors: Green, Silver-Grey, Cream and White
Lucky Gems: Opal, Pearl and Moonstone
Lucky Flowers: Daisies and Wallflowers

Cancer zodiac sign has the symbol of 'The Crab'. One of the basic characteristics of a is that he is very prone to mood swings, which are matched by changing emotions. At one point of time, you may have seen him in a typical party mood, enjoying himself and laughing at other people's jokes. He may come across as the most extroverted member in the entire group. However, another time, he may be completely introverted, sitting in a corner and lost in his own world. This single personality trait can help you in identifying a Cancer very easily.

A Cancerian will never run behind fame and publicity, but if he ever gets it, he definitely knows how to bask in the limelight. In a melancholic mood, he can become the coldest person on this earth and drown you in his bottomless depression. Cancerians are prone to pessimism and usually hide their fears behind a veil of humor. They love to dream and for them, sky's the limit. When he cries, it is because he is deeply hurt from inside. A harsh glance or a rough tone can easily break Cancer's vulnerable heart.

When he is hurt, he will either cry his heart out or retreat into a silent spell. However, it is rare that he takes revenge from the one who has hurt him. If a Cancer retreats to his shell, you can be sure he will become completely unreachable. He won't pick his phone, answer the doorbell or even check his mail. Another mood that can engulf a Cancer is a snappy one, or you can say a crabby one. He will hate the world and snap at anything and everything. However, you can be sure he is not angry with you and will soon be his normal self again.

While in a conversation, the facial features of a crab will change a number of times, displaying his numerous moods. He has a vivid imagination and at times will drown you in his moods too. Each and every experience affects him and gets engraved in his memory. Cancerians remember everything life has taught them and are true patriots. Past intrigues them and they love to collect antiques, old treasures and ancient relics. They are the perfect keepers of secrets and people automatically confide in them.

However, their own thoughts and secrets are strictly off limits for everyone. A typical cancer will never discuss his personal life with anyone. Compassion and intuition gel perfectly with the Cancer profile. He seldom judges people, just soaks up what comes his way and reflects the same. He will never ever give up an object he cherishes, be it a gift from a lover or the worn jeans he loves wearing. Cancerians have a soft heart; they care about people and are quite helpful. However, they wait to see if someone else is helping.

If the answer is yes, they will sit back and let the other person be the savior. In case no one comes forward; they will be there to rescue you. A Cancer person may come at the last minute, but he will save you just before you are about to drown. He is not selfish, it just that he never wants to be impulsive. But, he will save you nonetheless. Before he makes any move, a Cancerian must be sure of strong backing. Without it, he hates to venture on his own. He does not forget mistakes easily, especially his own.

He will brood over them and take a long time before moving ahead again. Cancerian loves, rather reveres, his home and his loved ones. Too much is not even enough for him. He needs more, more security, more love and more care. Insecurity may lead him to depression and weaken him physically. However, Cancerians have this amazing quality of self-healing. All they require is happiness, optimism and laughter in large doses. They are prone to negative thoughts and are always preparing for the unseen future.

The maxim 'Old is Gold' fits perfectly to a Cancer, whether it is the case of people or things. He is also very good at making as well as managing wealth. He has a large heart and will share willingly if his loved ones are in need. However, wastage, especially of food, is sure to tick him off. All the sensitivity of a crab is hidden beneath his hard shell and it will take much care and love to bring him out of his shell and close to you!

why DALLAS? [part I]

2010-11-28T07:13:00.006-06:00

I guess this will serve as my official press release and answer many questions about my move to Dallas, Texas!

In mid September a fellow social net-worker sent me a message about a job opening in Dallas. I had made it no secret that I was in love with Dallas, TX, and if ever awarded the proper opportunity for upward bound, I would relocate there.

2010 has been a extremely difficult year for me to say the least. I had health problems, the abrupt ending to a on & off eight year relationship, my private life being made very public. I dealt with image issues, identity issues, and severe depression. In the midst of all of those issues for the most part I hid behind my computer screen, if you didn't know me personally, you would think I was enjoying every bit of my life, when I had to be one of the most miserable people walking.

Thinking back most of my problems that made 2010 extremely difficult were direct results of things that had happened in only the last few months of 2009. I allowed many others into parts of my life that were typically reserved for myself only.

When I found out about the job opening, I immediately turned to God, I started praying for him to show me, and guide me. I prayed profusely every chance I got, and through it all in a very short time he turned around my entire way of thinking. If I had ever questioned my faith in him, he showed me in a quick time to NEVER doubt his abilities.

I arrived in Dallas, Texas during the late hours of September 27th, 2010 with a suitcase of clothes, a pillow, and my backpack. A associate from college told me I could crash at his place while I interviewed, and helped me through the process. I went to the interview on Tuesday September 28th, I was extremely nervous, I was interviewing for a community based job, where I made it know I had not lived in Dallas, I just had a lot of distant relatives, friends and associates there. Interviewing I dressed down, come kakhi pants, a brown cloth belt, some Steve Madden loafers, one of my signature vests, and a white dress shirt I found on sale at Old Navy about two years ago. When I entered the interview, the two individuals interviewing me were very relaxed, however you could tell they were carefully going to pay attention to my every word, move, and thought...

Once general questions were asked about the position, and my abilities were discussed, then the questions came about me and what would make me the idea candidate for this position. I was applying for a position in HIV-AIDS intervention in a city where the rates for young black men who have sex with men is high, so what would me, a boy from rural Texas do with people from the inner city? Honestly I didn't know. I had lived in Houston for seven years, at age 18 I moved to the suburbs so I never felt the need to interact with people in the city. I had no idea of the struggles of daily life people face. I just knew if awarded the opportunity to work for a program I had been following since it's inception, I would do my best to make a difference.

On Monday October 4th, I was sitting in the living room of my mother's home in Bryan, TX when the phone rang, it was the director from my program calling to officially offer me the position, I didn't know at 10:38am that phone call would change my life forever......

Kanye, Kanye, KANYE!

2010-10-29T11:21:00.003-05:00

I am not his biggest fan, but I am definitely now in the running to become it! I have felt Kanye for a long time, but his outburst and being so controversial for no reason sometimes got in the way. So many young black men are not taken seriously, and he was set up to be successful from birth in my own opinion! I listened to his first album and it told a story, literally at the end about how he moved to Jersey to pursue his dream after he dropped out of college, that has been and will be very inspirational always to me. But he lost me last year with the Taylor Swift incident at the VMA's, but I have always found him to be strangely attractive! The man has style, I thought him and my other baby John Legend were "more than friends" for a while, but I don't know what happened. Now photos of him have hit the infamous mediatakeout.com...All I can say is if this is him...hmmm he could get it for-real now!

MTO EXCLUSIVE: WE GOT NEKKID PICS . . . OF KANYE WEST!!! (PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED)

New logo!

2010-10-28T23:45:00.001-05:00

I designed a new logo..give me your thoughts!

I have a new home guys!

2010-10-24T15:35:00.002-05:00

I relocated to Dallas, Texas to start a new career, and launch my PR-Marketing-Fotography agency. I will be working in the HIV-AIDS field with young men in Dallas and surrounding areas! I feel like this is where I need to be, and the thought of making a change in my own community just delights me. God has blessed me tremendously, and I am going to take a few things to another level. I am looking forward to this new life in a new city!

Prairie View A&M criticized after hazing death | Bryan/College Station, Texas - The Eagle

2010-08-26T13:31:00.000-05:00

Prairie View A&M criticized after hazing death | Bryan/College Station, Texas - The Eagle

Honoring my sign...Cancer

2010-07-14T21:09:00.001-05:00

Cancer are born between June 22st and July 22nd

Cancer Characteristics, All About Cancer Personality, Celebrity Cancer, Daily Cancer Horoscope and More
Cancer Characteristics and Profile

Provided by Tarot.com

Crabs live in the inter-tidal zone of the oceans, where tides rise and fall twice every day. This is the most dynamic and changeful place on earth, but also the most nutrient rich. Because of the constant change, Cancer have developed a hard outer shell for protection. Cancer can use the hard outer shell of your home as your protection. But it's more than just that. Typically, your sensitive Cancer can hold your feelings quietly behind your own walls.

Crabs also have large pinching claws, and Cancer can hold onto things, especially from the past. Cancer are fiercely loyal and have a difficult time letting go. But Cancer are also quick to bring those you love inside the safety of your outer shell while you nurture them. Cancer love is protective, but unless tempered, can be smothering.

Cancer motto could be, "A good defense is the best offense." Like a Crab in its cave, your attack can consist of baiting your opponent into your territory. What appears to be a retreat to others can be your best aggressive tactic. As you feel your way through life, building your security by developing your home and family relationships, remember that unexpressed anger can turn into resentment and depression, so find someone you can trust and share your feelings.

Element: Water
Astrologically, the water element symbolizes emotion. Water runs deep; it seeks its own level and will flow until it has found it. The cycle of water is endless with the snows falling in the mountains and melting. The mountain streams join to make the great rivers that run to the sea. The tides and currents churn the oceans. Similarly, our feelings are flowing as they connect the present with past experiences. Sometimes the waters are so deep that we cannot put words to our feelings.

The water of Cancer is that of the changing tides. Regular rhythms that bring food and nurture the creatures who live there. But this is also about the water of a smoothly surfaced lake. No movement is apparent, yet beneath the surface there is movement, currents and much hidden activity.

Fourth House: Home and Family
The Fourth House is related to the mother. It is where we are nurtured, and takes in not only our real mother, but all those who nurture us -- especially early in life. This is the house of childhood surroundings. It is where we retreat from the noise of the outer world.

Key Planet: Moon
The Moon is always changing, not even the same two nights in a row. It races around the Earth once a "month," and as such we are familiar with her regularly repeating patterns. Women's menstrual cycles are naturally tied to the lunar rhythm, putting them in closer touch with the subconscious realms of the Moon. But to man and woman alike, the Moon is the key to our feelings and our emotional cycles. As the key planet of Cancer, the Moon symbolizes our basic needs -- how we need to be nurtured and how we nurture others.

Cancer Greatest Strength: Your ability to nurture others

Cancer Possible Weakness: Fear of the past repeating in the future

Cancer and Aries love compatibility
This combination is usually hard to match. The powerful sexual attraction is a usual thing for these two signs. A problem is that sexual attraction fades in the face of many temperamental differences. Aries leaps without looking; Cancer is cautious. Cancer loves hearth and home; Aries hates being tied down. Resentments build up and they argue over trifles. The discrepancy between their temperaments results in strengthening of incompatibility in bed. Astrological forecast for this couple is a stormy sea, and the marriage for certain will result in ship-wreck.