Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Black Gay HIV Positive Dating and Disclosure via www.blackgaymensblog.com
The Black Gay Men’s Blog advice column, Ask Storm, kicks off with a letter from Wes, a 26 year old black gay male living in Oakland, who has been dating a guy for a month and is worried about disclosing his HIVpositive status. I have received quite a few letters seeking advice already, but chose to publish this one first, because it is something a lot of black gay men have to deal with, even if we don’t talk about it. Getting back into the dating game can be quite daunting for the HIV positive individual. It is common for some to totally withdraw from the dating scene and stop having sex, because they see themselves as damaged goods and fear rejection. When to disclose is a question asked by HIV positive people of all races, but as black gay men(in the United States) the fear is very real. The stigma of being HIV positive is still a major issue in the black community, which is ironic given the stats. The decision to disclose to potential love interests or sex partners is a very personal one and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Once you have uttered those words, I am HIV positive, you can’t take them back. The more understanding we are, as black gay men, about how difficult it is for some brothers to disclose, the easier it will become for us to have honest dialog. I would like to use this opportunity not just to address Wes’ concerns, but also to make us all think. What would you do if the guy you have been dating told you he was HIV positive? Is it a deal breaker? Would your decision be based on emotion and irrational fear or facts? Would you ditch the greatest man you ever met because of his HIV status?
Get informed! National HIV/AIDS Strategy
Learn more about the National HIV/AIDS Strategy.
One of the President’s top HIV/AIDS policy priorities is the development and implementation of a National HIV/AIDS Strategy (NHAS). There are three primary goals for the NHAS:
- Reducing HIV incidence
- Increasing access to care and optimizing health outcomes
- Reducing HIV-related health disparities
The Administration has maintained a commitment to developing the NHAS through a process that is inclusive of a broad range of perspectives and stakeholders, and the Office of National AIDS Policy (ONAP) has engaged public involvement via multiple channels.
Vision
Our vision for a national strategy is a concise plan for moving the country forward. Predicated on building on what we are currently doing, it will identify a small number of high payoff action steps that need to be taken to achieve each of the President’s goals. We envision the strategy being a document that provides a roadmap for policymakers and the general public. We anticipate that the strategy will clearly describe the areas that require the most immediate change, the specific action steps that must be taken by the Federal Government and a variety of stakeholders, and specific targets for measuring our progress toward achieving the President’s goals.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” Read more: Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” | Necole Bitchie.com
Professional basketball legend Charles Barkley is known for his off the wall remarks and hilarious half-time reporting, but it was his recent interview with sports reporter Mike Wise that got people’s attention, as he discussed gay players in the NBA.Recently Rick Welts, CEO of the Phoenix Suns, Charles’ former basketball team, came out as being gay, which once again put the spotlight on the topic of homosexuality in the
“I really like ESPN. They do a great job. But like once every two or three months, they bring all these people on there, and they tell me how me and my team are going to respond to a gay guy.He also spoke on if he had a fear of showering or being in the locker room with a gay teammate, saying:
“First of all, every player has played with gay guys. It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say: ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.”
“A guy is never going to put himself in that situation in a professional locker room. It never crossed my mind, and I never felt any different about the guy.”Preach!
“They’re not going to do anything in the locker room. Doesn’t work like that.”
“Any professional athlete who gets on TV or radio and says he never played with a gay guy is a stone-freakin’ idiot. I would even say the same thing in college. Every college player, every pro player in any sport has probably played with a gay person.”
“First of all, society discriminates against gay people. They always try to make it like jocks discriminate against gay people. I’ve been a big proponent of gay marriage for a long time, because as a black person, I can’t be in for any form of discrimination at all.”
“We gossiped behind each other’s back before; I’ll be the first to admit that. The first people who whine and complain is them Bible-thumpers, who are supposed to be non-judgmental, who rail against them.[...] I don’t worry about what other people do.”
Source
Read more: Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” | Necole Bitchie.com
Do Gay Men Fear Intimacy?
Does ‘sexual minority stress’ cause gay men to fear emotional commitment and pursue open relationships?
I worked with a gay male therapy client—let’s call him Jim—who came in for individual therapy because his partner refused couples counseling. He was distressed because he felt “strong-armed” into an open relationship, leaving him with a sense of insecurity and anxiety. I soon realized that one thing this couple didn’t try was having an open, heart-felt communication about their struggles with intimacy and trust.
There have been a number of studies suggesting that many gay male couples who negotiate open relationships report satisfaction and fulfillment. But for some, does the decision to open the relationship reflect mistrust and a fear of intimacy and emotional commitment?
While gay men desire and create meaningful, loving relationships, their traumatic experiences growing up in a heteronormative culture—like homophobia and rejection—lead some to refuse conventions in heterosexual relationships (monogamy, marriage, children, etc.).
Like straight men, gay men are socialized away from intimacy. Expressing a need for intimacy and closeness is often viewed as weak. Sometimes, entering into a relationship with a man comes with worries about their promiscuity—will they cheat?
Gay men not only internalize negative cultural messages about being men—and about what it means to be gay. The fear about vulnerability might partly be due to shaming experiences during early development, such as bullying and harassment for not conforming to gendered expectations.
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Ilan H. Meyer, Ph.D. and other researchers use the term “sexual minority stress” to refer to manifestations of sexual orientation stigma. Gay life often includes a variety of stressful emotions and worries resulting from familial and societal rejection, discrimination, and stigmatization.| Like straight men, gay men are socialized away from intimacy. |
Many older gay men report that when they came out, they accepted the idea that their future would be a string of sexual encounters without marriage, children, or family. While this is reported less frequently in younger gay men today, some gay men still refuse to consider that they might meet someone and want to have a long term, loving, and exclusive relationship with another man.
Today, families and society are more likely to support straight youth as they undertake sexual and social changes. They are given guidance on how to date, how to initiate and maintain love, and how to heal from rejection. Typically gay adults who struggle significantly with romantic relationships didn’t receive this support.
Gay men also share with women the harms of sexual objectification. Indeed, we can say this of all men given the inevitable media stereotyping of men. What messages are given to gay men in magazines, billboards, social websites like Gay.com, and other advertisements? Being attractive and free sexual beings is well regarded, overshadowing messages of long-term monogamous relationships, family, and interdependence.
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What does the internalization of these messages look like? My client, Jim, is one example. Common psychological symptoms from internalizing negative messages about men and homosexuality are low self-esteem, self-deprecation, depression, anxiety, fear of showing vulnerability, hypermasculinity, difficulty letting go of mistrust, and keeping an emotional distance.Relationships work if a couple can walk the fine line of closeness and separateness, intimacy and autonomy. Relationships are strengthened by societal recognition and an identity as a couple.
Entering into couple’s therapy, incorporating family and friends into the newly formed system, advocating for marriage, and forming a partnership and family are all examples of ways that the relationship is legitimized. Allowing for the other to maintain a sense of autonomy and individuality requires trust. Affiliation and dependency require comfort with vulnerability, shared decision making, and working to keep the relationship exciting and resilient through disappointments.
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This article isn’t intended to pathologize gay men in open relationships, but to consider if open relationships are a way to minimize or even avoid the need for mutual commitment, vulnerability, intimacy, and emotional closeness. Clearly, many gay men desire meaningful and loving relationships. But monogamy is a deal-breaker for some.
Researchers for The Couples Study recruited 86 gay male couples in long-term open relationships. It included mostly white men aged 33-81 (average age was 51). The researchers, also in an open relationship, believe they have destroyed the myth that opening the relationship is the beginning of the end. Several participants reported that their open relationship honored autonomy, personal freedom, and alleviated the frustration of being with the same person. This was especially endorsed by couples who agreed on an open relationship from the start.
Some couples who opened the relationship at a later time reported struggling with disagreement and tension, knowing how much communication was necessary, understanding the differences in need for sexual freedom and exploration, and uncomfortable feelings. Often, a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was enacted to deal with insecurities and stress.
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Undoubtedly, some couples in open relationships are fulfilled. Whatever the relationship, good partners are open, honest, and willing to negotiate the terms of their relationship.The gay male couple will serve their relationship best by healing their insecurities, confronting their fears of failure, challenging societal assumptions about gay couples, and understanding that boredom may be a manifestation of fear and doubt about one’s ability to love. A willingness to be vulnerable while looking at what is behind their view of love and intimacy will likely lead to successful, loving relationships, in whatever form they take.
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Joshua Matacotta, M.A. is a fourth-year doctoral student at the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University in San Francisco, California. His research interests are in the area of health psychology and the examination of factors contributing to the physical and mental health of LGBT individuals.
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More from Sex Week at the Good Men Project:
Amanda Marcotte: What Women Don’t Tell You
Ed Fell: 10 Secrets to Satisfying Sex
Charles Allen: Why I Hate My Giant Dong
Emily Heist Moss: Does Size Matter?
John DeVore: Multiple Inches of Love
Joshua Matacotta: Do Gay Men Fear Intimacy?
Hugo Schwyzer: Mythbusting Bisexual Men
—Photo waitscm/Flickr
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Let's Go Dallas Mavericks!
http://www.nba.com/video/channels/playoffs/2011/05/10/20110510_dal_lal_series_recap.nba
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, 2011
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day provides an opportunity to acknowledge the more than 35,000 individuals who have volunteered for preventive HIV vaccine trials over the past 25 years. Without their participation, the modest success that we have achieved thus far would not have been possible. Many thousands more volunteers will be needed if we are going to achieve our ultimate goal of developing a safe and effective vaccine that will help stop the spread of HIV worldwide.
Since the discovery of HIV in 1983, dozens of antiretroviral agents have been licensed and have resulted in dramatic improvements in the quality of life and life expectancy of millions of HIV-infected individuals. In addition, global access to these life-saving therapies has been progressively increasing, which not only benefits the HIV-infected individual, but makes them less likely to transmit the virus to their sexual partners. However, for every individual who gains access to these therapies globally, two to three individuals become newly infected. Treatment alone is not likely to rid the world of AIDS; the need for improved approaches to prevent new HIV infections is compelling.
Fortunately, through the combined support of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), other US Government agencies, nonprofit organizations, and others, progress in developing new technologies that prevent HIV infection has been notable. Adult male circumcision resulted in greater than 50% protection against HIV acquisition among heterosexual men in several African countries. A once a day pill was shown to reduce new infections in men who have sex with men by 44%, and protection appeared even higher in those men who adhered to the daily drug regimen. Promising results have also been achieved with a vaginally applied microbicide, which protected 39% of women in a trial in South Africa. Again, protection was higher in those who adhered to the drug use schedule. Another exciting finding is that a vaccine provided 31% protection in a heterosexual population in Thailand. Interestingly, efficacy appeared to be 60% in the earlier stages of the trial before the vaccine induced immune responses waned.
Our goal now is to improve upon these latter results. Why did this vaccine work and can we build on that knowledge to design more effective vaccines? Will a vaccine adjuvant or vaccine vector increase the level of protection? Can efficacy be achieved in higher incidence populations and in populations exposed to different subtypes of HIV? Will keeping vaccine induced immunity high for a longer period of time increase the duration of protection? Are there alternative approaches to ensuring that effective immunity is present when individuals are exposed to HIV? These are all questions that NIAID together with our partners plans to address through continued basic and clinical research.
Conducting additional clinical vaccine research presents technical, resource and logistical challenges that will require multi-sector, international partnerships to address. Engagement of the private sector and regulatory agencies will help map a path to vaccine licensure. Clinical trial specialists will apply their best strategic thinking to determine how multiple trials can be efficiently and effectively accomplished. Participation of government officials and researchers in the countries where trials will be conducted will ensure that trials are approved and carried out expeditiously and according to the highest ethical standards. Strong partnership with affected communities and trial volunteers will help make certain that they understand the risks and benefits of participation in HIV vaccine trials. Only through continued support and participation of communities and individual trial volunteers will we achieve the goal of identifying a safe and effective preventive vaccine, which would be an invaluable addition to the tool box of prevention approaches.
Anthony S. Fauci, M.D. is the Director, National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), National Institutes of Health
Margaret I. (Peggy) Johnston, Ph.D., is a Senior Scientific Consultant, NIAID
Song of the week....
This was playing nonstop this past week at Houston Splash! I a loving the song, I give it five stars!
S Magizine May 2011: Going to College Issue
Hey guys, I am so excited my fotography skills were showcased in the May\June issue of S Magazine here in Dallas. This is the back to school issue be sure to check it out by clicking the link below!
When Magic Johnson famously announced he had HIV, it wasn't clear how long he'd live. Twenty years later, he tells Newsweek’s Allison Samuels of his struggles, fears, and triumphs.
Earvin "Magic" Johnson isn't the reflective type. He tends not to dwell on the past or even second-guess the decision he made 10 minutes ago. So when asked if he often thinks about that chilly November morning in 1991 when he stood onstage at the Great Western Forum in Los Angeles and announced to the world that he'd contracted HIV, the former point guard flashes his signature smile and shakes his head: no. "I don't look back that much at all, and I don't spend a lot of time on regrets," says Johnson. "I do regret putting my family and my wife, Cookie, through that entire experience and having to deal with certain things. But that's really the only regret I have."
Read Full Story Here
Monday, May 16, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
"AM I MY BROTHER'S KEEPER?"
*My personal look into one of the major issues facing young black same gender loving and gay me in 2011.
gay/gā/
Adjective: (of a person, esp. a man) Homosexual.
Noun: A homosexual, esp. a man.
I don't know how to start this post, it has been coming for quite sometime, and I pray that everyone that reads this gets something or better yet somethings out of it.To be a young black man living in America in 2011 is still a tough task considering it seems we have many odds against us. In almost every major metropolitan area in this great United States of America we can be considered the most fashionable, the most creative, and some of the best friends in the world. I myself from a very young age knew I was different from what society deemed as normal. I had no desire to play basketball, football or run track. I loved to paint, play with tea sets, and go with my mother to the beauty shop. I was the youngest of three children, from one of the most loving mothers you will find in the world. My father was taken from me at age five in a terrible accident, and little did I know that would forever change my life in so many way where I am here 20 + year later dealing with the effects of loosing a parent. We grew up with grandparents, relatives and family friends telling us, to be tough, fight for what was right, and never to be a "punk" or "cissy". Many of my peers went into shells where they felt the only way they would belong would be to try their hardest to be normal, becasue as one of my own friends told me he felt there was no such thing as a black gay man. Young black men are not often encouraged to get counseling or physiological services to deal with just everyday life, especially in our youth. If we read or write or paint we are "soft" or as one of my uncles referred to me as "different". Many of us come from strong women, women who have lost faith after being hurt so many times by the men that are supposed to love them. We grow to be tuff, nothing less is acceptable. When we cry people rarely understand, and we are told to dry those tears and be strong, but no one has every defined what strong is or may be. Little do we know this is what is killing off our community one by one.
As I ride the trains and busses here in Dallas, TX daily, I often see many youth from ten to twenty something feeling the same and just looking different. From various different backgrounds we all share some of the same issues in our daily lives, and we deal with them very differently. In late 2010 I took a job working for the University of California San Francisco Center for AIDS Prevention Studies, I didn't know just how much that job would change my life, and force me to dig deep into the issues facing young black men. As one of my mentors told me just yesterday it not use in scaring people with statistics, because we are educated, and we barely understand them, so I won't bore you telling you just how many young black men are living with HIV-AIDS, and how many are at risk, and how many are not getting tested, I'll choose to speak on so topics that we don't really share.
As I was preparing to move to Dallas in 2010, I received a call from a lady. She was a friend of mine of facebook, we had never met, just talked on facebook about how to best deal with her young son's sexuality. I pride myself on being a expert on young black men, for I am one, I don't tell people what I heard, and what I think they want to hear, I tell them what I have lived, and what I am living. You can conduct all of the studies on us in the world, but it's much better to just sit down and talk to us, well those of us that are willing to talk. She told me to call her, it was urgent, I did. He son had tested positive for the HIV. Even with as much knowledge as I have about HIV it still takes me to a lace each and every time I get a call or have a conversation about this epidemic. She questioned whether or not there was anything she could have done better, and where to go from there. I had to explain to her first hand that HIV was no longer the death sentence it was even into the early 1990's. I explained to her the severity of it's existence still, but the hope that becasue it was caught early, the better off her baby would be. I keep in contact with her, and prepare her for everything, and I am happy to report he is doing well. As happy as I was to assist with that situation I knew she was most likely one in a hundred mothers that actually trusted someone else enough to help her with the process. I told her she is am amazing example of what and who a mother should be.
When you deal with HIV, it's so complex. I look at it as the whore in high school, if she screws the entire football team, she will never live that down, people will still be talking about it at the class reunion. In the 30 years old HIV much of Black America ignored it, and stigmatized it so much to the point now that even though people are living completely normal lives with it as with many other diseases and illnesses no one wants to deal with it.
If you are a young black man and gay, you cannot be normal. People feel guilty and ashamed of you. Many of my peers cannot and will not talk to their closest family members about what struggles they deal with daily, we often turn to each other. The only problem that I have with that is this, even as we are living this life, even though we experience similar issues, not many of us are willing to help our brothers out, nor are we equip to. We go to churches that further drum this whole masculinity complex into us, where many are forced into living lies. We don't have the support that young hetrosexuals have in the world, and that is why we do some of the things we do, and say the things we say. A lot of us don't know the true meaning of being a brother's keeper, therefore when you have a growing epidemic like HIV in America, we cannot talk about it. I found out that one of my peer mentors, someone who I admire so much recently tested positive for HIV, and I knew what I had to do, although I was hurting inside, I had to quickly get over that hurt, and step into a place to be there for him at anytime, as the first year is the most difficult for many young men. HIV scares us so much that we don't talk about it like we do fashion or even sex. When I had a discussion with my best friend about how I was feeling he said "Terrance, I feel like we are living in the 1980's and the sad thing is most of us were born in the years HIV was first discovered." White America is dealing with the epidemic so much better, they have a better understanding of the virus, treatment options, and they have developed numerous organizations to help combat the problem, but we as a black community lack those. It's more that telling people to get tested, and giving them condoms it's about building a community of brothers, that understand the importance of protecting each other, and are willing to fight this epidemic. About a month ago I found out one of my friends is gravely ill from complications caused by HIV, this person whom I have partied, traveled, and grown up with over the past 10 years, simply told me and other members of our group that he just wants to die, and to know that I have the knowledge and tools at my disposal and still have someone I consider a close friend to tell me that, nearly sent me into pieces. When a 24 year old man gives up on life, that's a terrible thing. I simply told him, and his mother I would be here for them no matter what, and the offer still stand if he wants help, I'll make sure he gets it. I get phone calls almost daily from people wondering where to go and what to do. I pride myself of being knowledgeable, trustworthy, and a support tool for those impacted by this terrible virus. I decided to take a stand, and with God guiding the way I want to be a leader in the education, treatment, and cure for the stigma, and ignorance of ten associated with something that is killing my brothers. In six months I have learned so much and I am here to share this knowledge with my community, and I am learning daily. I have been blessed to meet and work with people like Mr. Phill Wilson from the Black AIDS Insitiute, Susan Kegeles Ph. D, Mr. Robert Williams, and Greg Rebchook PhD, all from UCSF CAPS, and a vast array of other individuals that have deeply impacted my wanting to work in this field even more. To my buddies our here in the trenches with me I love you all, Guy Williams in NYC, Doran, Dallas, and Terrance A, here in Dallas, Cedric in Jackson, MS, Joe, and Broderick in Charlotte, NC, Jason Black, Jeffery Campbell, Kevin Anderson, and Tim'm West in Houston, Darrianne Martin, Harold Steward and all of my brothers and sisters doing your part in this field all of you make me keep wanting to go further an further until every young man of color is treated and properly knows how to protect and care for himself and his brothers. To my brother from another and absolute best friend in the world Brandon D. Mack thank you so much for all of the love and support you send my way, I only pray that other young same gender loving men of color can share the natural unique brother hood we share in their friendship. And to my adopted sister, auntie, Dallas-Mama figure Dr. Mel, Kirk the little lady the often forces me look at things from a black woman's point of view , I am only beginning in my journey of helping to shape and define the modern black gay man and kill the stigma involved with HIV in the world today.
Follow me on twitter and follow this blog!
http://twitter.com/TxTROPHYhusband
Additional Resources:
Office Of The National AIDS Policy
Black AIDS Institute
Mpowerment
Housing Works
My Brother's Keeper, INC
E-mail me for a link to other organizations! uppity.brother@gmail.com
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Six Months Later......
So about seven months ago I received a message that would change my life in so many ways. 2010 was a year what many would say was hellish for various reasons. I lost the love of my life, then found out someone else I really cared for didn't give me same love, respect or consideration I had given him. I prayed for change in my life, and more importantly understanding in all aspects of my life. In late September two associates coached me through the process of applying for a new job in a new city, and helped lay the foundation for a new life. It was exactly ten years ago I started to claim my own truth, back in the Spring of 2001 I was dealing with coming out of the closet into a society where the thought of two men together was not in any way acceptable. Unlike many black same gender loving men I was able to discuss my feelings, experiences and even fears with my family. Not having that hurdle would impact my life in so many more ways. In early October I was offered a job with the University of California San Francisco Center for AIDS Prevention Studies on a research project in Dallas, TX. On the cool autumn morning I arrived in Dallas, TX I didn't know what to expect. I was not fully clear of what it meant to work in a community in which I cared about, but in so many ways felt like I had no say so. I jumped in head first speaking from experiences of being a same gender loving Black man living in the South. I told my stories of survival, the stories of being hurt time and time again, the stories about how I felt alone, and often blocked other even those closest to me out! Six months later I find myself being a mentor, friend, and person people come to with their fears, worries, and experiences. I find myself getting calls from mothers with gay sons and daughters about how to be a supportive parent, and ways to encourage conversations with their children. I've become an advocate for many young brothers both scared of and living with HIV, as I go to the doctor with young men, I find myself familiar with the top doctors, nurses, and social service providers in Dallas, and across the country. Weather it's taking a brother in the hospital with complications from HIV Williams Chicken at Parkland, or having lunch with a mother to give her condoms for her teenage son, I took this bull by the horn. I arrived scared of this city, but I find myself loving it more and more each day as I explore different parts each week. I realized the love you have for yourself can be shown in many ways. I let mine show through my work, and expressing how tremendously blessed I am.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Honoring Dr. Mark Colomb’s Contribution to the Response to HIV
By Christopher Bates, Executive Director, Presidential Advisory Council on HIV/AIDS (PACHA), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
This week we lost another leader in the HIV community. Dr. Mark Colomb (1963-2011) was passionately committed to Mississippi and other southern communities; and he focused on responding to the needs of Black men who have sex with men. Dr. Colomb participated in the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC) consultation which resulted in the establishment of the Minority AIDS Initiative (MAI) in 1997. The MAI provides critical resources to enhance and increase the access of racial and ethnic minorities to HIV/AIDS prevention, care, and treatment services. Dr. Colomb’s work helped pave the way for the creation of National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day (NBHAAD) 
, an HIV/AIDS testing and treatment community mobilization initiative targeting the Black community; the founding of My Brother’s Keeper (MBK) , a national organization dedicated to reducing health disparities in African-Americans, where he served as President/CEO; and the Mississippi Urban Research Center (MURC) at Jackson State University (JSU) , which serves as a clearinghouse for dissemination of research data on pressing urban issues.
As we remember Dr. Colomb, I encourage you to watch the following video from the Black AIDS Institute where he speaks about his work in response to HIV in Mississippi:
Dr. Mark Colomb
, an HIV/AIDS testing and treatment community mobilization initiative targeting the Black community; the founding of My Brother’s Keeper (MBK) , a national organization dedicated to reducing health disparities in African-Americans, where he served as President/CEO; and the Mississippi Urban Research Center (MURC) at Jackson State University (JSU) , which serves as a clearinghouse for dissemination of research data on pressing urban issues.As we remember Dr. Colomb, I encourage you to watch the following video from the Black AIDS Institute
where he speaks about his work in response to HIV in Mississippi: Friday, March 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Friday, January 07, 2011
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
When little boys want to dress like little girls....
Back in 2010, I decided to do so soul searching, and decide where I wanted to be for the next chapter of my life. I decided to start with the man in the mirror (I pray the MJ estate does not sue me). In the type of work I do, I was am faced with many issues from young black men, although we are all different in character, many of our issues are very similar, and not many have wanted to dig a lot deeper. I moved to a new city, opened my mind to new things and exploring the mind.
For many years I avoided physiology in mostly all forms. Traditionally young black men don't seek help for the many problems we face, and with my job I saw, and and seeing this is a problem in our community. We don't talk about the things we are exposed to most of the time, or at least I didn't. In the world we live in often times parents are often far too busy with trying to maintain a household, and sense of "normal" to address a lot of issues that are very present, and can become rather toxic.
Being born black, at 25 I have share many of the issues that a lot of my brothers share, along with issues that a lot of young black men and boys are facing. Please bare with me, I know I jump around, I pray with proper training I will get better with this, but the reading will be great I promise.
I decided in 2011 I was going to lay the foundation to go back to school, I decided I wanted to study something completely different, something that almost untapped. I decided to start working on a degree in counseling\physiology where I study the minds, habits and behaviors of the African-American Man. I am still in the beginning stages of this work, but my outline has started and I feel the link to this story that was posted on a facebook friend's page would spark quite a debate for the good.
I'll admit, I was busy at work, but I had to repost and see what even my own friends and family members would have to say. I woke up this morning viewed the story in it's entirety, and had a few thoughts of my own that I will share.
I knew it would definitely take me back to my own boyhood, At 25 years old I am still dealing with very many issues from my own childhood, issues I blame no one for, but understand they are blessings from God so I can now help others and have understanding in my essence that others might not have for particular individuals, and or situations. As a young boy, I enjoyed more domestic qualities. I enjoyed homemaking, dating back to kindergarten I clearly remember my teacher point out to my mother during open house that my play station was the home station in which it had a little kitchen, table, dishes, and items many little boys would not play with. I enjoyed playing with the girls on the playground in traditional "girl" games, I loved the spring season becasue of the pastel colors. I never had a desire to play sports, but I loved non-traditional African-American sports that most black men were not exposed to such as swimming, polo, and racket ball. My older brother was six years older than I, so we didn't have traditional bonding, and or sports time together, we watched TV together, and by time I came playing age he was done with the playing phase in his life. Instead of going out side and playing sports my mother, god parents and even step father let me play inside with toys, and watch tv. I fell in love with the Cosby Show for all of the traditional values that you see are the "norm" for American families, on television at least. My god mother was a great homemaker, so I learned as much as I could from her, from quilting, to cooking some things I do better than others. My mother always bought me dishes, and if you knew me as a child you know yes I was a little boy with I can finally say it after 20 years a doll house.
I had the Little Tikes Place, which was my favorite toy to this day. I was able to move the furnishings, decorate, and most people understood or for fear of my mother if they had any objections they kept them to themselves. My father's side of the family had objections, but no control, and that is all I will say about that. I had the house, later the stable, I took pride in collecting all of the accessories and building it as I one day wanted to build my own family life like that.
When I was about seven years old, I took all the money I had saved and went to Perry Brother's in Downtown Bryan, and bought a Barbie Doll. Even with buying the Barbie, I knew it was crossing the line, so I hid it for so long until one day my mother found it. Because it was not the norm, or she might have been dealing with the stress of having a "soft" or "feminine" son, she was furious, but even in a loving way after she blew up she sat me down and asked me "Terrance, do you think or want to be a girl?" I simply replied no, but it was what was normal for myself. I threw away the doll, along with some other paper dolls I had, and I noticed after that I did things to try to make myself more " boyish". I enrolled in Basketball in which I was terrible, tried playing football with my cousins, but preferred to be on the sidelines with the little girls cheering. Even through my adolescence, I knew being a cheerleader would not be accepted so I became the mascot so I could get a uniform. I enjoyed dressing nice, fashion, things that most young black men were told to stay away from.
I always understood I was a boy, and now a man, but society had deemed that so many things were for boys and girls. A boy playing with dolls is no different from the a "tom-boy" girl who loves sports, or the outdoors. If a young lady does not feel like cooking, and cleaning for her dad and brothers, and prefers watching football, and working on a car heaven forbid, she is going to be a lesbian, and that's not the case. If a man has good taste or he speaks softly, takes pride in his appearance he is deemed as homosexual, when that is not always the case. This makes me ask where do we draw the line and start creating our own standards for INDIVIDUALS to be INDIVIDUALS not what society thinks is normal? This is far from a gay-straight thing, it's more of a social relevance issue if you ask me. And it's time we start asking and answering some of these questions!
In this particular article I am so in support of his parents. They are showing support, unconditional love, and most importantly they are letting their son be who he wants to be. I think it's too early to label this young man as "gay" or same gender loving. He is just a little boy who knows what he likes, and has been blessed with parents that fully support what he wants for HIS life. I don't appreciate people attacking them, and saying they need help, and they need God, from the looks of things, they seem to be doing very well, and according to society that's all that matters right?
I could go on and on, but in closing I will say this, I am glad to be living in a day where I see on national T.V. black parents and children having open minds. It's sories like this that are signs from God that the work I am planning on doing in the next chapter of my life is very much needed. I welcome all of you comments!!!!
For many years I avoided physiology in mostly all forms. Traditionally young black men don't seek help for the many problems we face, and with my job I saw, and and seeing this is a problem in our community. We don't talk about the things we are exposed to most of the time, or at least I didn't. In the world we live in often times parents are often far too busy with trying to maintain a household, and sense of "normal" to address a lot of issues that are very present, and can become rather toxic.
Being born black, at 25 I have share many of the issues that a lot of my brothers share, along with issues that a lot of young black men and boys are facing. Please bare with me, I know I jump around, I pray with proper training I will get better with this, but the reading will be great I promise.
I decided in 2011 I was going to lay the foundation to go back to school, I decided I wanted to study something completely different, something that almost untapped. I decided to start working on a degree in counseling\physiology where I study the minds, habits and behaviors of the African-American Man. I am still in the beginning stages of this work, but my outline has started and I feel the link to this story that was posted on a facebook friend's page would spark quite a debate for the good.
I'll admit, I was busy at work, but I had to repost and see what even my own friends and family members would have to say. I woke up this morning viewed the story in it's entirety, and had a few thoughts of my own that I will share.
I knew it would definitely take me back to my own boyhood, At 25 years old I am still dealing with very many issues from my own childhood, issues I blame no one for, but understand they are blessings from God so I can now help others and have understanding in my essence that others might not have for particular individuals, and or situations. As a young boy, I enjoyed more domestic qualities. I enjoyed homemaking, dating back to kindergarten I clearly remember my teacher point out to my mother during open house that my play station was the home station in which it had a little kitchen, table, dishes, and items many little boys would not play with. I enjoyed playing with the girls on the playground in traditional "girl" games, I loved the spring season becasue of the pastel colors. I never had a desire to play sports, but I loved non-traditional African-American sports that most black men were not exposed to such as swimming, polo, and racket ball. My older brother was six years older than I, so we didn't have traditional bonding, and or sports time together, we watched TV together, and by time I came playing age he was done with the playing phase in his life. Instead of going out side and playing sports my mother, god parents and even step father let me play inside with toys, and watch tv. I fell in love with the Cosby Show for all of the traditional values that you see are the "norm" for American families, on television at least. My god mother was a great homemaker, so I learned as much as I could from her, from quilting, to cooking some things I do better than others. My mother always bought me dishes, and if you knew me as a child you know yes I was a little boy with I can finally say it after 20 years a doll house.
I had the Little Tikes Place, which was my favorite toy to this day. I was able to move the furnishings, decorate, and most people understood or for fear of my mother if they had any objections they kept them to themselves. My father's side of the family had objections, but no control, and that is all I will say about that. I had the house, later the stable, I took pride in collecting all of the accessories and building it as I one day wanted to build my own family life like that.
When I was about seven years old, I took all the money I had saved and went to Perry Brother's in Downtown Bryan, and bought a Barbie Doll. Even with buying the Barbie, I knew it was crossing the line, so I hid it for so long until one day my mother found it. Because it was not the norm, or she might have been dealing with the stress of having a "soft" or "feminine" son, she was furious, but even in a loving way after she blew up she sat me down and asked me "Terrance, do you think or want to be a girl?" I simply replied no, but it was what was normal for myself. I threw away the doll, along with some other paper dolls I had, and I noticed after that I did things to try to make myself more " boyish". I enrolled in Basketball in which I was terrible, tried playing football with my cousins, but preferred to be on the sidelines with the little girls cheering. Even through my adolescence, I knew being a cheerleader would not be accepted so I became the mascot so I could get a uniform. I enjoyed dressing nice, fashion, things that most young black men were told to stay away from.
I always understood I was a boy, and now a man, but society had deemed that so many things were for boys and girls. A boy playing with dolls is no different from the a "tom-boy" girl who loves sports, or the outdoors. If a young lady does not feel like cooking, and cleaning for her dad and brothers, and prefers watching football, and working on a car heaven forbid, she is going to be a lesbian, and that's not the case. If a man has good taste or he speaks softly, takes pride in his appearance he is deemed as homosexual, when that is not always the case. This makes me ask where do we draw the line and start creating our own standards for INDIVIDUALS to be INDIVIDUALS not what society thinks is normal? This is far from a gay-straight thing, it's more of a social relevance issue if you ask me. And it's time we start asking and answering some of these questions!
In this particular article I am so in support of his parents. They are showing support, unconditional love, and most importantly they are letting their son be who he wants to be. I think it's too early to label this young man as "gay" or same gender loving. He is just a little boy who knows what he likes, and has been blessed with parents that fully support what he wants for HIS life. I don't appreciate people attacking them, and saying they need help, and they need God, from the looks of things, they seem to be doing very well, and according to society that's all that matters right?
I could go on and on, but in closing I will say this, I am glad to be living in a day where I see on national T.V. black parents and children having open minds. It's sories like this that are signs from God that the work I am planning on doing in the next chapter of my life is very much needed. I welcome all of you comments!!!!
Happy New Year!
It's 2011! May this be a great year filled with blessings for you! We are looking forward to so many awesome things this year. I invite you to follow me so you get updates as I post more! Have a joyous New Year!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
I came, I saw, I CONQUERED! 2010 in the books! Part I
2010, whew....it's almost over. I must say 2010 has been everything to me! The year started off cold, and just to be honest BAD. I will say overall I have had the most personal growth in 2010 than any other year.
During the past twelve months, I was forced to grow up, deal with problems that had been hurting and haunting me if not all most of my life. I learned the TRUE meanings of both friendship, and family, I was forced to look in the mirror, and the most scary this was I didn't know who or what I was looking at. I spent the better first half of the year depressed on several different levels, I felt sorry for myself, wanted others to feel sorry for me, and I damn near gave up on thinking I would ever be happy in life.
My love life in 2010:
Well I think I learned the most about myself in dating, and I sure as hell know what I am NO longer willing to put up with. Many of you that follow me know, the year started off rocky for me on the dating from, for the most part I thought I had found the love of my life, and even had a backup. I was lied to, cheated on, and just for the lack of better words, royally screwed over. A few times I began to question myself, and considered changing some things to accommodate people in my life, but I had a change of heart! Mid way through the year I prayed for help in the journey of love in my life, and did he answer my prayers. In July I suffered by far the largest set back in my love life to this day, when I got terrible news about someone I was very involved with, and some things he had done, and been involved in. Those I felt that needed to know about that situation know what happened, and for the most part I am done talking about it and him. I will say I now have the PERMANENT separation from him, that was so hard for me to accomplish on my own. A greater power stepped in a told me to move on, and made it possible for me to do so! I feel to talk about it is a part of my daily healing process, but I will say this it showed me that people know me, and know my heart. It made me see who my true friends were, and that my mother has my back no matter what. It's a daily process, but with much prayer, and therapy I am getting over it!
Then there was ONE, someone else I loved almost more than life itself came in and out of my life. We were the best of lovers, but the worst of friends, and that's just not a good combination! I tried to tuff it out, I let him humiliate me time after time, and still tried to be there, but it was clear that we needed to go in different directions. I thought by dating someone that seemed to be older, more mature, and established, it would be great, and it has not. Turns out he lied, he' still very much confused about life, and just needs to so some heavy soul searching, oh well it's no longer my problem!
In late September, a associate gave me the heads up about a possible job opening\position. I was in no place mentally, physically, or financially to just start over, but I knew I needed some change in my life. I prayed long, hard and deep, and decided to really step out on faith. I started taking the steps I needed to be self sufficient, and with only a few hundred dollars (very few), my camera, computer, and a blackberry my sister gave me I decided to take life by the horns.
On Tuesday September 27th, I had the most difficult job interviews of my life. When I went into the room and closed the door, something told clicked in my head and told me "Terrance, this is that chance for change you need, don't blow this, go in and give it your very best." During that interview, my resume, my Alma Matter, attire, and everything we place such a heavy emphasis on didn't matter quite as much. They wanted to know who was Terrance, and honestly at that point, I didn't even know who I was. I don't recall the exact question, but I had to take a pause, and just ask God to step in, and did he. It seemed that over 25 years of bottled up pain and hurt just came out, as my eyes started to water, and my foot started to shake in my shoes uncontrollably. I closed in my interview by just saying "I know I'm great pick because I've lived, I've lost and I'm living." I got the job offer about two weeks later.
Often times we don't realize just how much one has impacted our life until they are no longer with us. I feel my eyes getting heavy as I type this, but it's a part of my process. It was not until early October I realized how blessed I was to have this particular person in my life for 25 years. This is coming from my heart, and I feel the tears falling....To say that my mother's older brother Maxie was a character would not give him the credit as the amazing individual he was. Often times we glorify people after death, and only remember what we want about them, most of the time to make them look good. When you live in a world where we have false perceptions of what perfect is, and what it's supposed to be it's hard to separate the fact from fiction. I am just going to give the facts....
My mother believes in this thing called unconditional love when it comes to family. In life we love the good time, but never talk about the bad times, we are quick to kick people when they are down, and not try to help them up for many different reasons. My uncle was ALWAYS there for my mother. With him always being there for my mother he was always there for me. He showed me examples of what a brother is supposed to do for his children, parents, siblings, and friends. When I was down and out, he could always find the right words to make whatever situation better. One of our most powerful conversations came back in March while we were in the parking lot of a grocery store in my hometown, when he told me "Nephew, your mother has always been there for me no matter, what, when you have so many other (expletive)'s that just use and abuse you, your mother is the same, has been the same no matter, what, and I could not want for another sister. "Whether it's working at Mc Donalds, or sitting behind that computer nephew you find a way to take care of yourself, and make a way to take care of her, and no matter what remember your family, you come from two of the best." He made sure he reinforced for me to take care of her, and show her unconditional love, he said she is very much like her mother, but things she's wanted to change she has, and that what makes her my sis, I trust her with my life." I knew that was important, but I didn't know what else was going to happen, and I didn't expect to be talking about him in the past tense now. In early October, I rode with my mother to pick him up from the hospital in Temple, Texas. I went up to get him while my mom waited, and I never realized the follow hours would be my last time ever talking to him, but in those few hours I learned so much, and he touched on so many different things. He had just gotten off the phone with his oldest son Julian who lives in California, and he said they had a long, great conversation, I told him I was moving to Dallas the following week, and he told me to do my very best, go to work, have fun, and enjoy life. Now that I think back we were close for many reasons, he was friends with my late father, in the later years of their life he had become a permanent fixture around my late God parents' home helping them with odd jobs, and over the past few years he had lived with my family in Bryan. Through the loss of his own mother, he still talked to me, I would take him food, when he was sick I would make him tea, and advise him to take the medication my mother would get, if not there would be hell to pay from her. He heard me cuss one time, and said "Nephew, I don't know who you sound like, you are even proper with your cussing, and I know that's not from my sister or your daddy". I was in New Orleans, LA training for my new job, when my mother called, and told me she had found him in pretty bad condition can he had been rushed to the hospital, for some reason, I knew things would never be the same. As God started doing his work to prepare a place for him in heaven, I just went into prayer and just praised God for having someone in my life so special. I didn't rush down the highways to stand by his bedside, I had been there when only my mother and grandfather were, I felt no need to make anything. The final conversation we had was a great one, and I left it there, When I received the call that he had passed I remember this blank feeling coming across me, but I felt that his battle was won. Designing his funeral program was a honor, this was a person that knew so much about me, and someone I loved dearly. I knew I was going to need to be strong for those that needed it more. It's only been a few weeks, but I know I have another Angel looking out for me. I have become extremely close with my older cousin Julian, it feels great having another artist in the family, and he is so much like his father, and other siblings. Someone said it seems like you two have grown up together, and I said "we are just our parents' sons!
During the past twelve months, I was forced to grow up, deal with problems that had been hurting and haunting me if not all most of my life. I learned the TRUE meanings of both friendship, and family, I was forced to look in the mirror, and the most scary this was I didn't know who or what I was looking at. I spent the better first half of the year depressed on several different levels, I felt sorry for myself, wanted others to feel sorry for me, and I damn near gave up on thinking I would ever be happy in life.
My love life in 2010:
Well I think I learned the most about myself in dating, and I sure as hell know what I am NO longer willing to put up with. Many of you that follow me know, the year started off rocky for me on the dating from, for the most part I thought I had found the love of my life, and even had a backup. I was lied to, cheated on, and just for the lack of better words, royally screwed over. A few times I began to question myself, and considered changing some things to accommodate people in my life, but I had a change of heart! Mid way through the year I prayed for help in the journey of love in my life, and did he answer my prayers. In July I suffered by far the largest set back in my love life to this day, when I got terrible news about someone I was very involved with, and some things he had done, and been involved in. Those I felt that needed to know about that situation know what happened, and for the most part I am done talking about it and him. I will say I now have the PERMANENT separation from him, that was so hard for me to accomplish on my own. A greater power stepped in a told me to move on, and made it possible for me to do so! I feel to talk about it is a part of my daily healing process, but I will say this it showed me that people know me, and know my heart. It made me see who my true friends were, and that my mother has my back no matter what. It's a daily process, but with much prayer, and therapy I am getting over it!
Then there was ONE, someone else I loved almost more than life itself came in and out of my life. We were the best of lovers, but the worst of friends, and that's just not a good combination! I tried to tuff it out, I let him humiliate me time after time, and still tried to be there, but it was clear that we needed to go in different directions. I thought by dating someone that seemed to be older, more mature, and established, it would be great, and it has not. Turns out he lied, he' still very much confused about life, and just needs to so some heavy soul searching, oh well it's no longer my problem!
In late September, a associate gave me the heads up about a possible job opening\position. I was in no place mentally, physically, or financially to just start over, but I knew I needed some change in my life. I prayed long, hard and deep, and decided to really step out on faith. I started taking the steps I needed to be self sufficient, and with only a few hundred dollars (very few), my camera, computer, and a blackberry my sister gave me I decided to take life by the horns.
On Tuesday September 27th, I had the most difficult job interviews of my life. When I went into the room and closed the door, something told clicked in my head and told me "Terrance, this is that chance for change you need, don't blow this, go in and give it your very best." During that interview, my resume, my Alma Matter, attire, and everything we place such a heavy emphasis on didn't matter quite as much. They wanted to know who was Terrance, and honestly at that point, I didn't even know who I was. I don't recall the exact question, but I had to take a pause, and just ask God to step in, and did he. It seemed that over 25 years of bottled up pain and hurt just came out, as my eyes started to water, and my foot started to shake in my shoes uncontrollably. I closed in my interview by just saying "I know I'm great pick because I've lived, I've lost and I'm living." I got the job offer about two weeks later.
Often times we don't realize just how much one has impacted our life until they are no longer with us. I feel my eyes getting heavy as I type this, but it's a part of my process. It was not until early October I realized how blessed I was to have this particular person in my life for 25 years. This is coming from my heart, and I feel the tears falling....To say that my mother's older brother Maxie was a character would not give him the credit as the amazing individual he was. Often times we glorify people after death, and only remember what we want about them, most of the time to make them look good. When you live in a world where we have false perceptions of what perfect is, and what it's supposed to be it's hard to separate the fact from fiction. I am just going to give the facts....
My mother believes in this thing called unconditional love when it comes to family. In life we love the good time, but never talk about the bad times, we are quick to kick people when they are down, and not try to help them up for many different reasons. My uncle was ALWAYS there for my mother. With him always being there for my mother he was always there for me. He showed me examples of what a brother is supposed to do for his children, parents, siblings, and friends. When I was down and out, he could always find the right words to make whatever situation better. One of our most powerful conversations came back in March while we were in the parking lot of a grocery store in my hometown, when he told me "Nephew, your mother has always been there for me no matter, what, when you have so many other (expletive)'s that just use and abuse you, your mother is the same, has been the same no matter, what, and I could not want for another sister. "Whether it's working at Mc Donalds, or sitting behind that computer nephew you find a way to take care of yourself, and make a way to take care of her, and no matter what remember your family, you come from two of the best." He made sure he reinforced for me to take care of her, and show her unconditional love, he said she is very much like her mother, but things she's wanted to change she has, and that what makes her my sis, I trust her with my life." I knew that was important, but I didn't know what else was going to happen, and I didn't expect to be talking about him in the past tense now. In early October, I rode with my mother to pick him up from the hospital in Temple, Texas. I went up to get him while my mom waited, and I never realized the follow hours would be my last time ever talking to him, but in those few hours I learned so much, and he touched on so many different things. He had just gotten off the phone with his oldest son Julian who lives in California, and he said they had a long, great conversation, I told him I was moving to Dallas the following week, and he told me to do my very best, go to work, have fun, and enjoy life. Now that I think back we were close for many reasons, he was friends with my late father, in the later years of their life he had become a permanent fixture around my late God parents' home helping them with odd jobs, and over the past few years he had lived with my family in Bryan. Through the loss of his own mother, he still talked to me, I would take him food, when he was sick I would make him tea, and advise him to take the medication my mother would get, if not there would be hell to pay from her. He heard me cuss one time, and said "Nephew, I don't know who you sound like, you are even proper with your cussing, and I know that's not from my sister or your daddy". I was in New Orleans, LA training for my new job, when my mother called, and told me she had found him in pretty bad condition can he had been rushed to the hospital, for some reason, I knew things would never be the same. As God started doing his work to prepare a place for him in heaven, I just went into prayer and just praised God for having someone in my life so special. I didn't rush down the highways to stand by his bedside, I had been there when only my mother and grandfather were, I felt no need to make anything. The final conversation we had was a great one, and I left it there, When I received the call that he had passed I remember this blank feeling coming across me, but I felt that his battle was won. Designing his funeral program was a honor, this was a person that knew so much about me, and someone I loved dearly. I knew I was going to need to be strong for those that needed it more. It's only been a few weeks, but I know I have another Angel looking out for me. I have become extremely close with my older cousin Julian, it feels great having another artist in the family, and he is so much like his father, and other siblings. Someone said it seems like you two have grown up together, and I said "we are just our parents' sons!
Monday, December 13, 2010
My thought for the week! 12.12.2010-12.19.2010
Life is a book, I am learning to mark pages, to revisit for reference purposes, but FINISH some chapters for good! 2010 has been a year to remember, and I thank God for all of the wisdom I have gotten over this past year, I am ready to move into the next chapters of my life according to HIS WILL! Have a great week Saints! - Terrance O. Gilbert
Thursday, December 09, 2010
A conversation with Cadillac Kimberly
Uppity Brotha's EXCLUSIVE with THE BOSS Cadillac Kimberly. CK tells why she's NOT homophobic, NOT like Wendy Williams and is embarrassed by The Real Housewives Of Atlanta.
By: Terrance O. Gilbert, http://uppityworld.blogspot.com
Dallas, Texas
Follow me on twitter: @un_dphined_85
http://terrance-omar.tumblr.com/
By: Terrance O. Gilbert, http://uppityworld.blogspot.com
Dallas, Texas
Follow me on twitter: @un_dphined_85
Cadillac Kimberly has blown up on the blogosphere and You Tube with her commentary on various issues from television reviews, to personal encounters, to advocacy issues, and she is just getting started. Uppity Brotha Terrance O. Gilbert recently was granted an exclusive interview with her on a stop in Dallas for Halloween weekend at The Brick in Dallas, Texas.
“You are special because I don’t do this shit for everyone.” Cadillac Kimberly told UB. “I did my first Vlog as a joke one night, went to bed, woke up the next morning, and my shit had over 8,000 hits on youtube. Sandra Rose really looked out, and I will always be grateful to her.” Originally from Boston, Kimberly calls Atlanta, GA, home. She’s laid back, real down to earth, a bit edgy, and blunt is an understatement.
Uppity Brotha: What’s your zodiac sign?
Cadillac Kimberly: Libra
UB: Are you married?
CK: Not yet, but my husband is on His way.
UB: So how do you plan on marketing yourself?
CK: First off I would like to say that I'm not JUST a comedian, I'm an entertainer. I don't know who started that shit. (she speaks VERY candidly)
I felt the need to ask her how she felt about being compared to Wendy Williams, and even being labeled the “new” Wendy Williams of the South?
CK: I don't, you all do. I bring a LOT more to the table than some "gossip." I bring comedy AND The Word as well. Everything I say is true to the best of my knowledge and how I genuinely feel.
Next UB decided to ask her opinion; was she homophobic? A few things
she said in Vlogs previous caught some people’s attention, and I wanted to give her the chance to clear it up. When I asked the question “So are you
homophobic?” Kimberly paused, looked at me and
said "I don’t know why people think that. I am VERY close friends with Dwight Eubanks (from The Real Housewives of Atlanta). I would kiss him dead in the mouth, but you know he wouldn't be interested. LOL Anybody that know what the fuck is going on knows they have to have a fly ass gay on their team; they provide that balance and fabulosity you need for shit to run correctly. I have 2 that are BEYOND LOYAL on my team. Who even came up with that stupid shit??”
UB: “Kimberly where do you see yourself going? Television, stand up? What?" She simply replied “I don’t tell all my business, just stay tuned.”
UB: How do you feel about the Real Housewives of Atlanta?
CK: I’m embarrassed. They don't represent the ladies of the "A" worth a damn!
UB: Do you think Phedra Parks is a bit much?
CK: To people that don’t know her, but I know her personally and she's fabulous as hell.
UB: Nene Leakes?
CK: Nene is a bully, a broke ass bully bitch at that. Nathan (Ne-Ne), if you are reading this, you need $5? She ain’t shit….
UB: Do you feel more empowered having a black president in
the white house?
CK: No. I approach President Obama the same way as with every situation/person;
with caution. The fact that he's black doesn't automatically make him trustworthy.
UB: What’s your favorite food & cocktail?
CK: Free is my favorite! LOL I like top shelf drinks though. (Kettle One Vodka for sure)
UB: What criticism have you received?
CK: I only receive constructive criticism from those I respect and love. As of late the only criticism has been for me to look up more when doing my Vlogs and I'm working on that.
I decided to take it to a very serious matter that has developed a stigma in the black community. I just had to find out what Cadillac Kimberly's thoughts were on the HIV-AIDS epidemic in the African- American community.
UB: What are your thoughts on the HIV-AIDS Epidemic?
CK: It’s all depends on the person, and their outlook. There was a cure before
there was AIDS….GOD, He’s a HEALER. Your faith can heal you as well, TRUST.
UB: How do you feel about “Downlow” or “DL” men?
CK: They are low down as hell. And they don't have to lie. They would be surprised how many women they would be able to pull just being honest. Lots of women like Bi men. I DON'T, but loads do.
UB: Who are some of the most attractive black men to you?
CK: Let’s see, who would I give some pu**y to? Idris Elba
UB: So what really went down with you and Flirtandflutterlashloft.com’s owner Shae Evans?
CK: Let’s just say everything in that Vlog I said about her was true. We were VERY good friends/business associates. On a scale of 1 to 10 she was an 8, but she spat and shitted on me once she felt she had gotten strong off my strength. Bootleg ass businesswoman. When I filmed the Vlog about the situation it was three days after our argument so you can see just how deep the shit was if I was still that pissed after three days. Bitch. One of her strongest employees now works for me though on the up side. (brushes shoulders off)
Cadillac Kimberly was a JOY to hang with for the time we spent. She says her mission is not to be known as a celebrity, but yet a Humanitarian. She stated that we ALL are celebrities, because the definition of one is a person who is to be celebrated.She was very supportive in my future endeavors and wanted to know more about me, my goals and my aspirations. The most touching part of the interview was when she had some words of encouragement to a female fan in Texas via the phone who felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Cadillac Kimberly might not like labels, but I will say she is on to something. Rarely do you meet down to earth individuals, willing to reach out to others, not let a little bit of popularity or fame change them, and from what I observed, to change is not Cadillac Kimberly’s style. She acted as if she knew me for years, and treated me like anyone would want to be treated.
“I see her becoming one of the most sought after Vloggers because of her style, and ability to speak from the soul" a MediaMogul said recently.“I see her taking off and within the next year doing some HUGE things."
Uppity Brotha was honored to get to spend some time with this individual that’s quickly becoming the talk of the community of young African-Americans, and we hope to be on her team.
We would like to send a special shout out to Cadillac Kimberly’s entire team (whom she affectionately refers to as #TEAMCADDY) who made this interview possible, and
special thanks to Roy Murray of Dallas for bringing this talented professional entertainer to Dallas!
www.cadillackimberly.com
Photo Credits: Trademark Fotography & Design Dallas, TX
Check us out!
http://uppityworld.blogspot.com
http://trademarkfotography.blogspot.com
Story: Terrance O. Gilbert
Dallas, Texas
Uppity.brotha@gmail.com
“You are special because I don’t do this shit for everyone.” Cadillac Kimberly told UB. “I did my first Vlog as a joke one night, went to bed, woke up the next morning, and my shit had over 8,000 hits on youtube. Sandra Rose really looked out, and I will always be grateful to her.” Originally from Boston, Kimberly calls Atlanta, GA, home. She’s laid back, real down to earth, a bit edgy, and blunt is an understatement.
Uppity Brotha: What’s your zodiac sign?
Cadillac Kimberly: Libra
UB: Are you married?
CK: Not yet, but my husband is on His way.
UB: So how do you plan on marketing yourself?
CK: First off I would like to say that I'm not JUST a comedian, I'm an entertainer. I don't know who started that shit. (she speaks VERY candidly)
I felt the need to ask her how she felt about being compared to Wendy Williams, and even being labeled the “new” Wendy Williams of the South?
CK: I don't, you all do. I bring a LOT more to the table than some "gossip." I bring comedy AND The Word as well. Everything I say is true to the best of my knowledge and how I genuinely feel.
Next UB decided to ask her opinion; was she homophobic? A few things
she said in Vlogs previous caught some people’s attention, and I wanted to give her the chance to clear it up. When I asked the question “So are you
homophobic?” Kimberly paused, looked at me and
said "I don’t know why people think that. I am VERY close friends with Dwight Eubanks (from The Real Housewives of Atlanta). I would kiss him dead in the mouth, but you know he wouldn't be interested. LOL Anybody that know what the fuck is going on knows they have to have a fly ass gay on their team; they provide that balance and fabulosity you need for shit to run correctly. I have 2 that are BEYOND LOYAL on my team. Who even came up with that stupid shit??”
UB: “Kimberly where do you see yourself going? Television, stand up? What?" She simply replied “I don’t tell all my business, just stay tuned.”
UB: How do you feel about the Real Housewives of Atlanta?
CK: I’m embarrassed. They don't represent the ladies of the "A" worth a damn!
UB: Do you think Phedra Parks is a bit much?
CK: To people that don’t know her, but I know her personally and she's fabulous as hell.
UB: Nene Leakes?
CK: Nene is a bully, a broke ass bully bitch at that. Nathan (Ne-Ne), if you are reading this, you need $5? She ain’t shit….
UB: Do you feel more empowered having a black president in
the white house?
CK: No. I approach President Obama the same way as with every situation/person;
with caution. The fact that he's black doesn't automatically make him trustworthy.
UB: What’s your favorite food & cocktail?
CK: Free is my favorite! LOL I like top shelf drinks though. (Kettle One Vodka for sure)
UB: What criticism have you received?
CK: I only receive constructive criticism from those I respect and love. As of late the only criticism has been for me to look up more when doing my Vlogs and I'm working on that.
I decided to take it to a very serious matter that has developed a stigma in the black community. I just had to find out what Cadillac Kimberly's thoughts were on the HIV-AIDS epidemic in the African- American community.
UB: What are your thoughts on the HIV-AIDS Epidemic?
CK: It’s all depends on the person, and their outlook. There was a cure before
there was AIDS….GOD, He’s a HEALER. Your faith can heal you as well, TRUST.
UB: How do you feel about “Downlow” or “DL” men?
CK: They are low down as hell. And they don't have to lie. They would be surprised how many women they would be able to pull just being honest. Lots of women like Bi men. I DON'T, but loads do.
UB: Who are some of the most attractive black men to you?
CK: Let’s see, who would I give some pu**y to? Idris Elba
UB: So what really went down with you and Flirtandflutterlashloft.com’s owner Shae Evans?
CK: Let’s just say everything in that Vlog I said about her was true. We were VERY good friends/business associates. On a scale of 1 to 10 she was an 8, but she spat and shitted on me once she felt she had gotten strong off my strength. Bootleg ass businesswoman. When I filmed the Vlog about the situation it was three days after our argument so you can see just how deep the shit was if I was still that pissed after three days. Bitch. One of her strongest employees now works for me though on the up side. (brushes shoulders off)
Cadillac Kimberly was a JOY to hang with for the time we spent. She says her mission is not to be known as a celebrity, but yet a Humanitarian. She stated that we ALL are celebrities, because the definition of one is a person who is to be celebrated.She was very supportive in my future endeavors and wanted to know more about me, my goals and my aspirations. The most touching part of the interview was when she had some words of encouragement to a female fan in Texas via the phone who felt like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders.
Cadillac Kimberly might not like labels, but I will say she is on to something. Rarely do you meet down to earth individuals, willing to reach out to others, not let a little bit of popularity or fame change them, and from what I observed, to change is not Cadillac Kimberly’s style. She acted as if she knew me for years, and treated me like anyone would want to be treated.
“I see her becoming one of the most sought after Vloggers because of her style, and ability to speak from the soul" a MediaMogul said recently.“I see her taking off and within the next year doing some HUGE things."
Uppity Brotha was honored to get to spend some time with this individual that’s quickly becoming the talk of the community of young African-Americans, and we hope to be on her team.
We would like to send a special shout out to Cadillac Kimberly’s entire team (whom she affectionately refers to as #TEAMCADDY) who made this interview possible, and
special thanks to Roy Murray of Dallas for bringing this talented professional entertainer to Dallas!
www.cadillackimberly.com
Photo Credits: Trademark Fotography & Design Dallas, TX
Check us out!
http://uppityworld.blogspot.com
http://trademarkfotography.blogspot.com
Story: Terrance O. Gilbert
Dallas, Texas
Uppity.brotha@gmail.com
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Meddlesome Moth - Now Open Moth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain KeithMoth, Dallas, Food, Beer, Beerknurd, Captain Keith
the [Cancerian]
22nd June to 23rd July
Strengths Weaknesses
Adaptable Moody
Loyal Sensitive
Attached to family Emotional
Empathetic
Symbol: The Crab
Ruling Planet: Moon
Quality: Cardinal
Element: Water
Basic Trait: I Feel
Closest Metal: Silver
Lucky Day: Monday
Lucky Colors: Green, Silver-Grey, Cream and White
Lucky Gems: Opal, Pearl and Moonstone
Lucky Flowers: Daisies and Wallflowers
Cancer zodiac sign has the symbol of 'The Crab'. One of the basic characteristics of a is that he is very prone to mood swings, which are matched by changing emotions. At one point of time, you may have seen him in a typical party mood, enjoying himself and laughing at other people's jokes. He may come across as the most extroverted member in the entire group. However, another time, he may be completely introverted, sitting in a corner and lost in his own world. This single personality trait can help you in identifying a Cancer very easily.
A Cancerian will never run behind fame and publicity, but if he ever gets it, he definitely knows how to bask in the limelight. In a melancholic mood, he can become the coldest person on this earth and drown you in his bottomless depression. Cancerians are prone to pessimism and usually hide their fears behind a veil of humor. They love to dream and for them, sky's the limit. When he cries, it is because he is deeply hurt from inside. A harsh glance or a rough tone can easily break Cancer's vulnerable heart.
When he is hurt, he will either cry his heart out or retreat into a silent spell. However, it is rare that he takes revenge from the one who has hurt him. If a Cancer retreats to his shell, you can be sure he will become completely unreachable. He won't pick his phone, answer the doorbell or even check his mail. Another mood that can engulf a Cancer is a snappy one, or you can say a crabby one. He will hate the world and snap at anything and everything. However, you can be sure he is not angry with you and will soon be his normal self again.
While in a conversation, the facial features of a crab will change a number of times, displaying his numerous moods. He has a vivid imagination and at times will drown you in his moods too. Each and every experience affects him and gets engraved in his memory. Cancerians remember everything life has taught them and are true patriots. Past intrigues them and they love to collect antiques, old treasures and ancient relics. They are the perfect keepers of secrets and people automatically confide in them.
However, their own thoughts and secrets are strictly off limits for everyone. A typical cancer will never discuss his personal life with anyone. Compassion and intuition gel perfectly with the Cancer profile. He seldom judges people, just soaks up what comes his way and reflects the same. He will never ever give up an object he cherishes, be it a gift from a lover or the worn jeans he loves wearing. Cancerians have a soft heart; they care about people and are quite helpful. However, they wait to see if someone else is helping.
If the answer is yes, they will sit back and let the other person be the savior. In case no one comes forward; they will be there to rescue you. A Cancer person may come at the last minute, but he will save you just before you are about to drown. He is not selfish, it just that he never wants to be impulsive. But, he will save you nonetheless. Before he makes any move, a Cancerian must be sure of strong backing. Without it, he hates to venture on his own. He does not forget mistakes easily, especially his own.
He will brood over them and take a long time before moving ahead again. Cancerian loves, rather reveres, his home and his loved ones. Too much is not even enough for him. He needs more, more security, more love and more care. Insecurity may lead him to depression and weaken him physically. However, Cancerians have this amazing quality of self-healing. All they require is happiness, optimism and laughter in large doses. They are prone to negative thoughts and are always preparing for the unseen future.
The maxim 'Old is Gold' fits perfectly to a Cancer, whether it is the case of people or things. He is also very good at making as well as managing wealth. He has a large heart and will share willingly if his loved ones are in need. However, wastage, especially of food, is sure to tick him off. All the sensitivity of a crab is hidden beneath his hard shell and it will take much care and love to bring him out of his shell and close to you!
Strengths Weaknesses
Adaptable Moody
Loyal Sensitive
Attached to family Emotional
Empathetic
Symbol: The Crab
Ruling Planet: Moon
Quality: Cardinal
Element: Water
Basic Trait: I Feel
Closest Metal: Silver
Lucky Day: Monday
Lucky Colors: Green, Silver-Grey, Cream and White
Lucky Gems: Opal, Pearl and Moonstone
Lucky Flowers: Daisies and Wallflowers
Cancer zodiac sign has the symbol of 'The Crab'. One of the basic characteristics of a is that he is very prone to mood swings, which are matched by changing emotions. At one point of time, you may have seen him in a typical party mood, enjoying himself and laughing at other people's jokes. He may come across as the most extroverted member in the entire group. However, another time, he may be completely introverted, sitting in a corner and lost in his own world. This single personality trait can help you in identifying a Cancer very easily.
A Cancerian will never run behind fame and publicity, but if he ever gets it, he definitely knows how to bask in the limelight. In a melancholic mood, he can become the coldest person on this earth and drown you in his bottomless depression. Cancerians are prone to pessimism and usually hide their fears behind a veil of humor. They love to dream and for them, sky's the limit. When he cries, it is because he is deeply hurt from inside. A harsh glance or a rough tone can easily break Cancer's vulnerable heart.
When he is hurt, he will either cry his heart out or retreat into a silent spell. However, it is rare that he takes revenge from the one who has hurt him. If a Cancer retreats to his shell, you can be sure he will become completely unreachable. He won't pick his phone, answer the doorbell or even check his mail. Another mood that can engulf a Cancer is a snappy one, or you can say a crabby one. He will hate the world and snap at anything and everything. However, you can be sure he is not angry with you and will soon be his normal self again.
While in a conversation, the facial features of a crab will change a number of times, displaying his numerous moods. He has a vivid imagination and at times will drown you in his moods too. Each and every experience affects him and gets engraved in his memory. Cancerians remember everything life has taught them and are true patriots. Past intrigues them and they love to collect antiques, old treasures and ancient relics. They are the perfect keepers of secrets and people automatically confide in them.
However, their own thoughts and secrets are strictly off limits for everyone. A typical cancer will never discuss his personal life with anyone. Compassion and intuition gel perfectly with the Cancer profile. He seldom judges people, just soaks up what comes his way and reflects the same. He will never ever give up an object he cherishes, be it a gift from a lover or the worn jeans he loves wearing. Cancerians have a soft heart; they care about people and are quite helpful. However, they wait to see if someone else is helping.
If the answer is yes, they will sit back and let the other person be the savior. In case no one comes forward; they will be there to rescue you. A Cancer person may come at the last minute, but he will save you just before you are about to drown. He is not selfish, it just that he never wants to be impulsive. But, he will save you nonetheless. Before he makes any move, a Cancerian must be sure of strong backing. Without it, he hates to venture on his own. He does not forget mistakes easily, especially his own.
He will brood over them and take a long time before moving ahead again. Cancerian loves, rather reveres, his home and his loved ones. Too much is not even enough for him. He needs more, more security, more love and more care. Insecurity may lead him to depression and weaken him physically. However, Cancerians have this amazing quality of self-healing. All they require is happiness, optimism and laughter in large doses. They are prone to negative thoughts and are always preparing for the unseen future.
The maxim 'Old is Gold' fits perfectly to a Cancer, whether it is the case of people or things. He is also very good at making as well as managing wealth. He has a large heart and will share willingly if his loved ones are in need. However, wastage, especially of food, is sure to tick him off. All the sensitivity of a crab is hidden beneath his hard shell and it will take much care and love to bring him out of his shell and close to you!
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