When little boys want to dress like little girls....

Back in 2010, I decided to do so soul searching, and decide where I wanted to be for the next chapter of my life. I decided to start with the man in the mirror (I pray the MJ estate does not sue me). In the type of work I do, I was am faced with many issues from young black men, although we are all different in character, many of our issues are very similar, and not many have wanted to dig a lot deeper. I moved to a new city, opened my mind to new things and exploring the mind.

For many years I avoided physiology in mostly all forms. Traditionally young black men don't seek help for the many problems we face, and with my job I saw, and and seeing this is a problem in our community. We don't talk about the things we are exposed to most of the time, or at least I didn't. In the world we live in often times parents are often far too busy with trying to maintain a household, and sense of "normal" to address a lot of issues that are very present, and can become rather toxic.

Being born black, at 25 I have share many of the issues that a lot of my brothers share, along with issues that a lot of young black men and boys are facing. Please bare with me, I know I jump around, I pray with proper training I will get better with this, but the reading will be great I promise.

I decided in 2011 I was going to lay the foundation to go back to school, I decided I wanted to study something completely different, something that almost untapped. I decided to start working on a degree in counseling\physiology where I study the minds, habits and behaviors of the African-American Man.  I am still in the beginning stages of this work, but my outline has started and I feel the link to this story that was posted on a facebook friend's page would spark quite a debate for the good.

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I'll admit, I was busy at work, but I had to repost and see what even my own friends and family members would have to say. I woke up this morning viewed the story in it's entirety, and had a few thoughts of my own that I will share.

I knew it would definitely take me back to my own boyhood, At 25 years old I am still dealing with very many issues from my own childhood, issues I blame no one for, but understand they are blessings from God so I can now help others and have understanding in my essence that others might not have for particular individuals, and  or situations. As a young boy, I enjoyed more domestic qualities. I enjoyed homemaking, dating back to kindergarten I clearly remember my teacher point out to my mother during open house that my play station was the home station in which it had a little kitchen, table, dishes, and items many little boys would not play with. I enjoyed playing with the girls on the playground in traditional "girl" games, I loved the spring season becasue of the pastel colors. I never had a desire to play sports, but I loved non-traditional African-American sports that most black men were not exposed to such as swimming, polo, and racket ball. My older brother was six years older than I, so we didn't have traditional bonding, and or sports time together, we watched TV together, and by time I came playing age he was done with the playing phase in his life. Instead of going out side and playing sports my mother, god parents and even step father let me play inside with toys, and watch tv. I fell in love with the Cosby Show for all of the traditional values that you see are the "norm" for American families, on television at least. My god mother was a great homemaker, so I learned as much as I could from her, from quilting, to cooking some things I do better than others. My mother always bought me dishes, and if you knew me as a child you know yes I was a little boy with I can finally say it after 20 years a doll house.

I had the Little Tikes Place, which was my favorite toy to this day. I was able to move the furnishings, decorate, and most people understood or for fear of my mother if they had any objections they kept them to themselves. My father's side of the family had objections, but no control, and that is all I will say about that. I had the house, later the stable, I took pride in collecting all of the accessories and building it as I one day wanted to build my own family life like that.

When I was about seven years old, I took all the money I had saved and went to Perry Brother's in Downtown Bryan, and bought a Barbie Doll. Even with buying the Barbie, I knew it was crossing the line, so I hid it for so long until one day my mother found it. Because it was not the norm, or she might have been dealing with the stress of having a "soft" or "feminine" son, she was furious, but even in a loving way after she blew up she sat me down and asked me "Terrance, do you think or want to be a girl?" I simply replied no, but it was what was normal for myself. I threw away the doll, along with some other paper dolls I had, and I noticed after that I did things to try to make myself more " boyish". I enrolled in Basketball in which I was terrible, tried playing football with my cousins, but preferred to be on the sidelines with the little girls cheering. Even through my adolescence, I knew being a cheerleader would not be accepted so I became the mascot so I could get a uniform. I enjoyed dressing nice, fashion, things that most young black men were told to stay away from.

I always understood I was a boy, and now a man, but society had deemed that so many things were for boys and girls. A boy playing with dolls is no different from the a "tom-boy" girl who loves sports, or the outdoors. If a young lady does not feel like cooking, and cleaning for her dad and brothers, and prefers watching football, and working on a car heaven forbid, she is going to be a lesbian, and that's not the case. If a man has good taste or he speaks softly, takes pride in his appearance he is deemed as homosexual, when that is not always the case. This makes me ask where do we draw the line and start creating our own standards for INDIVIDUALS to be INDIVIDUALS not what society thinks is normal? This is far from a gay-straight thing, it's more of a social relevance issue if you ask me. And it's time we start asking and answering some of these questions!

In this particular article I am so in support of his parents. They are showing support, unconditional love, and most importantly they are letting their son be who he wants to be. I think it's too early to label this young man as "gay" or same gender loving. He is just a little boy who knows what he likes, and has been blessed with parents that fully support what he wants for HIS life. I don't appreciate people attacking them, and saying they need help, and they need God, from the looks of things, they seem to be doing very well, and according to society that's all that matters right?

I could go on and on, but in closing I will say this, I am glad to be living in a day where I see on national T.V. black parents and children having open minds. It's sories like this that are signs from God that the work I am planning on doing in the next chapter of my life is very much needed. I welcome all of you comments!!!!