Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Black Gay HIV Positive Dating and Disclosure via www.blackgaymensblog.com
The Black Gay Men’s Blog advice column, Ask Storm, kicks off with a letter from Wes, a 26 year old black gay male living in Oakland, who has been dating a guy for a month and is worried about disclosing his HIVpositive status. I have received quite a few letters seeking advice already, but chose to publish this one first, because it is something a lot of black gay men have to deal with, even if we don’t talk about it. Getting back into the dating game can be quite daunting for the HIV positive individual. It is common for some to totally withdraw from the dating scene and stop having sex, because they see themselves as damaged goods and fear rejection. When to disclose is a question asked by HIV positive people of all races, but as black gay men(in the United States) the fear is very real. The stigma of being HIV positive is still a major issue in the black community, which is ironic given the stats. The decision to disclose to potential love interests or sex partners is a very personal one and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Once you have uttered those words, I am HIV positive, you can’t take them back. The more understanding we are, as black gay men, about how difficult it is for some brothers to disclose, the easier it will become for us to have honest dialog. I would like to use this opportunity not just to address Wes’ concerns, but also to make us all think. What would you do if the guy you have been dating told you he was HIV positive? Is it a deal breaker? Would your decision be based on emotion and irrational fear or facts? Would you ditch the greatest man you ever met because of his HIV status?
Get informed! National HIV/AIDS Strategy
Learn more about the National HIV/AIDS Strategy.
One of the President’s top HIV/AIDS policy priorities is the development and implementation of a National HIV/AIDS Strategy (NHAS). There are three primary goals for the NHAS:
- Reducing HIV incidence
- Increasing access to care and optimizing health outcomes
- Reducing HIV-related health disparities
The Administration has maintained a commitment to developing the NHAS through a process that is inclusive of a broad range of perspectives and stakeholders, and the Office of National AIDS Policy (ONAP) has engaged public involvement via multiple channels.
Vision
Our vision for a national strategy is a concise plan for moving the country forward. Predicated on building on what we are currently doing, it will identify a small number of high payoff action steps that need to be taken to achieve each of the President’s goals. We envision the strategy being a document that provides a roadmap for policymakers and the general public. We anticipate that the strategy will clearly describe the areas that require the most immediate change, the specific action steps that must be taken by the Federal Government and a variety of stakeholders, and specific targets for measuring our progress toward achieving the President’s goals.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” Read more: Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” | Necole Bitchie.com
Professional basketball legend Charles Barkley is known for his off the wall remarks and hilarious half-time reporting, but it was his recent interview with sports reporter Mike Wise that got people’s attention, as he discussed gay players in the NBA.Recently Rick Welts, CEO of the Phoenix Suns, Charles’ former basketball team, came out as being gay, which once again put the spotlight on the topic of homosexuality in the
“I really like ESPN. They do a great job. But like once every two or three months, they bring all these people on there, and they tell me how me and my team are going to respond to a gay guy.He also spoke on if he had a fear of showering or being in the locker room with a gay teammate, saying:
“First of all, every player has played with gay guys. It bothers me when I hear these reporters and jocks get on TV and say: ‘Oh, no guy can come out in a team sport. These guys would go crazy.’ First of all, quit telling me what I think. I’d rather have a gay guy who can play than a straight guy who can’t play.”
“A guy is never going to put himself in that situation in a professional locker room. It never crossed my mind, and I never felt any different about the guy.”Preach!
“They’re not going to do anything in the locker room. Doesn’t work like that.”
“Any professional athlete who gets on TV or radio and says he never played with a gay guy is a stone-freakin’ idiot. I would even say the same thing in college. Every college player, every pro player in any sport has probably played with a gay person.”
“First of all, society discriminates against gay people. They always try to make it like jocks discriminate against gay people. I’ve been a big proponent of gay marriage for a long time, because as a black person, I can’t be in for any form of discrimination at all.”
“We gossiped behind each other’s back before; I’ll be the first to admit that. The first people who whine and complain is them Bible-thumpers, who are supposed to be non-judgmental, who rail against them.[...] I don’t worry about what other people do.”
Source
Read more: Charles Barkley Speaks on Gay NBA Players: “Every Player Has Played With Gay Guys” | Necole Bitchie.com
Do Gay Men Fear Intimacy?
Does ‘sexual minority stress’ cause gay men to fear emotional commitment and pursue open relationships?
I worked with a gay male therapy client—let’s call him Jim—who came in for individual therapy because his partner refused couples counseling. He was distressed because he felt “strong-armed” into an open relationship, leaving him with a sense of insecurity and anxiety. I soon realized that one thing this couple didn’t try was having an open, heart-felt communication about their struggles with intimacy and trust.
There have been a number of studies suggesting that many gay male couples who negotiate open relationships report satisfaction and fulfillment. But for some, does the decision to open the relationship reflect mistrust and a fear of intimacy and emotional commitment?
While gay men desire and create meaningful, loving relationships, their traumatic experiences growing up in a heteronormative culture—like homophobia and rejection—lead some to refuse conventions in heterosexual relationships (monogamy, marriage, children, etc.).
Like straight men, gay men are socialized away from intimacy. Expressing a need for intimacy and closeness is often viewed as weak. Sometimes, entering into a relationship with a man comes with worries about their promiscuity—will they cheat?
Gay men not only internalize negative cultural messages about being men—and about what it means to be gay. The fear about vulnerability might partly be due to shaming experiences during early development, such as bullying and harassment for not conforming to gendered expectations.
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Ilan H. Meyer, Ph.D. and other researchers use the term “sexual minority stress” to refer to manifestations of sexual orientation stigma. Gay life often includes a variety of stressful emotions and worries resulting from familial and societal rejection, discrimination, and stigmatization.| Like straight men, gay men are socialized away from intimacy. |
Many older gay men report that when they came out, they accepted the idea that their future would be a string of sexual encounters without marriage, children, or family. While this is reported less frequently in younger gay men today, some gay men still refuse to consider that they might meet someone and want to have a long term, loving, and exclusive relationship with another man.
Today, families and society are more likely to support straight youth as they undertake sexual and social changes. They are given guidance on how to date, how to initiate and maintain love, and how to heal from rejection. Typically gay adults who struggle significantly with romantic relationships didn’t receive this support.
Gay men also share with women the harms of sexual objectification. Indeed, we can say this of all men given the inevitable media stereotyping of men. What messages are given to gay men in magazines, billboards, social websites like Gay.com, and other advertisements? Being attractive and free sexual beings is well regarded, overshadowing messages of long-term monogamous relationships, family, and interdependence.
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What does the internalization of these messages look like? My client, Jim, is one example. Common psychological symptoms from internalizing negative messages about men and homosexuality are low self-esteem, self-deprecation, depression, anxiety, fear of showing vulnerability, hypermasculinity, difficulty letting go of mistrust, and keeping an emotional distance.Relationships work if a couple can walk the fine line of closeness and separateness, intimacy and autonomy. Relationships are strengthened by societal recognition and an identity as a couple.
Entering into couple’s therapy, incorporating family and friends into the newly formed system, advocating for marriage, and forming a partnership and family are all examples of ways that the relationship is legitimized. Allowing for the other to maintain a sense of autonomy and individuality requires trust. Affiliation and dependency require comfort with vulnerability, shared decision making, and working to keep the relationship exciting and resilient through disappointments.
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This article isn’t intended to pathologize gay men in open relationships, but to consider if open relationships are a way to minimize or even avoid the need for mutual commitment, vulnerability, intimacy, and emotional closeness. Clearly, many gay men desire meaningful and loving relationships. But monogamy is a deal-breaker for some.
Researchers for The Couples Study recruited 86 gay male couples in long-term open relationships. It included mostly white men aged 33-81 (average age was 51). The researchers, also in an open relationship, believe they have destroyed the myth that opening the relationship is the beginning of the end. Several participants reported that their open relationship honored autonomy, personal freedom, and alleviated the frustration of being with the same person. This was especially endorsed by couples who agreed on an open relationship from the start.
Some couples who opened the relationship at a later time reported struggling with disagreement and tension, knowing how much communication was necessary, understanding the differences in need for sexual freedom and exploration, and uncomfortable feelings. Often, a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was enacted to deal with insecurities and stress.
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Undoubtedly, some couples in open relationships are fulfilled. Whatever the relationship, good partners are open, honest, and willing to negotiate the terms of their relationship.The gay male couple will serve their relationship best by healing their insecurities, confronting their fears of failure, challenging societal assumptions about gay couples, and understanding that boredom may be a manifestation of fear and doubt about one’s ability to love. A willingness to be vulnerable while looking at what is behind their view of love and intimacy will likely lead to successful, loving relationships, in whatever form they take.
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Joshua Matacotta, M.A. is a fourth-year doctoral student at the California School of Professional Psychology at Alliant International University in San Francisco, California. His research interests are in the area of health psychology and the examination of factors contributing to the physical and mental health of LGBT individuals.
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More from Sex Week at the Good Men Project:
Amanda Marcotte: What Women Don’t Tell You
Ed Fell: 10 Secrets to Satisfying Sex
Charles Allen: Why I Hate My Giant Dong
Emily Heist Moss: Does Size Matter?
John DeVore: Multiple Inches of Love
Joshua Matacotta: Do Gay Men Fear Intimacy?
Hugo Schwyzer: Mythbusting Bisexual Men
—Photo waitscm/Flickr
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Let's Go Dallas Mavericks!
http://www.nba.com/video/channels/playoffs/2011/05/10/20110510_dal_lal_series_recap.nba
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day, 2011
HIV Vaccine Awareness Day provides an opportunity to acknowledge the more than 35,000 individuals who have volunteered for preventive HIV vaccine trials over the past 25 years. Without their participation, the modest success that we have achieved thus far would not have been possible. Many thousands more volunteers will be needed if we are going to achieve our ultimate goal of developing a safe and effective vaccine that will help stop the spread of HIV worldwide.
Since the discovery of HIV in 1983, dozens of antiretroviral agents have been licensed and have resulted in dramatic improvements in the quality of life and life expectancy of millions of HIV-infected individuals. In addition, global access to these life-saving therapies has been progressively increasing, which not only benefits the HIV-infected individual, but makes them less likely to transmit the virus to their sexual partners. However, for every individual who gains access to these therapies globally, two to three individuals become newly infected. Treatment alone is not likely to rid the world of AIDS; the need for improved approaches to prevent new HIV infections is compelling.
Fortunately, through the combined support of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), other US Government agencies, nonprofit organizations, and others, progress in developing new technologies that prevent HIV infection has been notable. Adult male circumcision resulted in greater than 50% protection against HIV acquisition among heterosexual men in several African countries. A once a day pill was shown to reduce new infections in men who have sex with men by 44%, and protection appeared even higher in those men who adhered to the daily drug regimen. Promising results have also been achieved with a vaginally applied microbicide, which protected 39% of women in a trial in South Africa. Again, protection was higher in those who adhered to the drug use schedule. Another exciting finding is that a vaccine provided 31% protection in a heterosexual population in Thailand. Interestingly, efficacy appeared to be 60% in the earlier stages of the trial before the vaccine induced immune responses waned.
Our goal now is to improve upon these latter results. Why did this vaccine work and can we build on that knowledge to design more effective vaccines? Will a vaccine adjuvant or vaccine vector increase the level of protection? Can efficacy be achieved in higher incidence populations and in populations exposed to different subtypes of HIV? Will keeping vaccine induced immunity high for a longer period of time increase the duration of protection? Are there alternative approaches to ensuring that effective immunity is present when individuals are exposed to HIV? These are all questions that NIAID together with our partners plans to address through continued basic and clinical research.
Conducting additional clinical vaccine research presents technical, resource and logistical challenges that will require multi-sector, international partnerships to address. Engagement of the private sector and regulatory agencies will help map a path to vaccine licensure. Clinical trial specialists will apply their best strategic thinking to determine how multiple trials can be efficiently and effectively accomplished. Participation of government officials and researchers in the countries where trials will be conducted will ensure that trials are approved and carried out expeditiously and according to the highest ethical standards. Strong partnership with affected communities and trial volunteers will help make certain that they understand the risks and benefits of participation in HIV vaccine trials. Only through continued support and participation of communities and individual trial volunteers will we achieve the goal of identifying a safe and effective preventive vaccine, which would be an invaluable addition to the tool box of prevention approaches.
Anthony S. Fauci, M.D. is the Director, National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), National Institutes of Health
Margaret I. (Peggy) Johnston, Ph.D., is a Senior Scientific Consultant, NIAID
Song of the week....
This was playing nonstop this past week at Houston Splash! I a loving the song, I give it five stars!
S Magizine May 2011: Going to College Issue
Hey guys, I am so excited my fotography skills were showcased in the May\June issue of S Magazine here in Dallas. This is the back to school issue be sure to check it out by clicking the link below!
When Magic Johnson famously announced he had HIV, it wasn't clear how long he'd live. Twenty years later, he tells Newsweek’s Allison Samuels of his struggles, fears, and triumphs.
Earvin "Magic" Johnson isn't the reflective type. He tends not to dwell on the past or even second-guess the decision he made 10 minutes ago. So when asked if he often thinks about that chilly November morning in 1991 when he stood onstage at the Great Western Forum in Los Angeles and announced to the world that he'd contracted HIV, the former point guard flashes his signature smile and shakes his head: no. "I don't look back that much at all, and I don't spend a lot of time on regrets," says Johnson. "I do regret putting my family and my wife, Cookie, through that entire experience and having to deal with certain things. But that's really the only regret I have."
Read Full Story Here
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