Learning to let it go....

One thing I have learned over the past couple of years, it is to let shit go. I have been here with my family for the past two weeks, and now I truly understand why I left home three years ago. In my family we all have different yet somewhat alike personallities. As I get ready to leave the state for a new state, and life in a new city, I sometimes feel bad for wanting to leave. I have had to often ask Terrance are you ashamed of where you have come from? No I am not, but not many people understand the mentallity of my family and people from my hometown. I am from Bryan, where it is a mid-sized city, with small town ways. Everybody knows everybody, and everyone's business. Growing up was hard for me I was alone most of the time, and I had a lot of issues that I have ended up dealing with on my own. When I became an adult I moved to Houston, TX, I developed a completely new lifestyle not just with me being gay, but with developing a "good life" for myself. I worked hard, attened college, made friends and associates as became a model young gay black man. Now that I am at home I see so many things that anger me, yet sometimes make me proud to be the person I am. My family accepts my lifestyle, but they have never really had to deal with it that much, because I have chosen to keep it to myself, and not force it upon them. I became more cosmo, started dressing better, and eating better foods. I developed a passion for mice things, and great style, something that my hometown lacks. As I look around I see so many people that went to school with doing nothing with thier lives. My family is content with their lives, and I am not. I don't want to be one of these black gay men that leave home, and never return or become so caught up in other things within the "lifestyle" that they get out of touch with reality. I want to be a man of subatance, style and someone who can respect where he came from, and use it the postive and negitive to fuel my rocket to succeed in EVERYTHING. Will I every have a great realtionship with my family, no, will I do all I can to work on it yes. But I have learned, and I do know sometimes you just have to let shit go....