A little better day...

Today was a lot better, I got to get some rest, and I went out ot eat with my older brother, and my mother. Being at home has truly been bitter sweet. I know this is where I come from ,and it is hard for me so say things like I never want to live here again, but I am keeping it real and being honest with myself. I honestly feel that there is not much good in my hometown for a edcuated man of color, and there is really not a place for a openly gay, educated man of color. I realized a while back that it was time for me to start living for me, and me only. When I look at those who are goind well here I look at the fact they have strong support systems, and foundations, unlike myself. I have become a custom to only being able to depend on myself for even the most simple things. Does moving to a completely new city where the cost of living is 3x what it is where I currently live, and over a thousand miles from my family and few friends scare me?? HELL YES, but it is a chance and a walk out on faith that I know I have to take, becasue if I don't I will always have that what if feeling. I know I will make it one way or another, I just cannot help the butterflies.....