the deltas are coming to atl....

my fraternity delta phi upsilon fraternity inc. will be having our interest meeting in atlanta, ga next month. i have attached the flyer for the event, and to all my atl peeps, and readers i hope to see you there!

valentines day will not be the same for one northern va man...

Tragedy in Woodbridge
Young gay man killed in Virginia robbery
by Yusef Najafi
Published on January 31, 2008

Darius Cooke no longer sleeps in the bed he once shared with Keith Jamar Truesdale, his partner of nearly two years. Until he moves out of their Woodbridge, Va., apartment, Cooke says he'll be sleeping on the living room couch.

It's not a situation Cooke, 21, could have predicted just a week and a half ago when he and Truesdale, 23, were finalizing plans to move into a new ''rent-to-own'' townhouse. Just nine months ago, they exchanged commitment rings marking their one-year anniversary.

A single bullet was all it took to obliterate this young couple's happy dreams for the future.
Darius Cooke with photo of Keith Jamar Truesdale
Darius Cooke with photo of Keith Jamar Truesdale
(Photo by Yusef Najafi)

It was Jan. 22 and Truesdale was managing the Popeye's Chicken & Biscuits restaurant in Woodbridge. It was not the Dale City, Va., outlet where he usually worked. He was just helping out, filling in.

Cooke saw Truesdale for the last time that day as he stopped by the restaurant to collect some of the paperwork needed for their upcoming move. After running some errands in the neighborhood, fate allowed Cooke to be in an adjacent bank parking lot as Truesdale took a break. He walked over and surprised Cooke.

''Damn, you're still here?'' Truesdale teased. ''You got everything you need?''

That was followed by a casual goodbye and Cooke's reply: ''I'll see you at home then.'' It would be the last words they would exchange, the last time they would see each other.

Truesdale was due home around 11 p.m., but he didn't show. Cooke remembers making phone calls to Truesdale's cell phone. He lost count of how many. As the hours passed, panic set in. By 3 a.m., with still no word, Cooke says he couldn't sit still.

''Just as I was putting on my sweatpants to leave, I heard the phone ring,'' he says. ''It went to voice mail and it was just this strange noise -- hollering and laughing on my answering machine.''

As he walked to the answering machine, Cooke realized he hadn't heard laughter, but hysteria. The distressed voice breaking the silence in the living room that the couple often cuddled in while watching Truesdale's beloved Law & Order was Truesdale's mother, screaming and crying for her son. She had heard the news that at that moment was unimaginable to Cooke.

''He's dead, he's dead,'' Cooke recalls her repeating on that call from New York. ''The police called me and told me my baby's dead!''

''What are you talking about?'' Cooke replied in disbelief on the phone. ''No he's not! I'm going to go get him and I'll call you back.''

Cooke sped from the house, frightened and confused. As his car approached the Popeye's parking lot, a little less than five miles away from the couple's apartment, disbelief gave way to cruel reality. Blue and red flashing lights blinded Cooke until he was close enough to see the only car in the parking lot aside from his and the police was Truesdale's.

Cooke says that's when everything started moving in slow motion, when everything changed.


Cooke learned that Truesdale was caught in the middle of a robbery involving two men, one brandishing a knife, the other a gun, demanding he open the store's safe. Not the regular manager, it's likely he didn't have that combination memorized. Truesdale was fatally shot and died at Potomac Hospital around 11 p.m.

Nearly one week after the incident, Cooke says he has yet to hear from police or the management at Popeye's.

''We haven't heard anything,'' he says. ''[Popeye's] said they were going to have a little memorial for him. It never happened.''

A statement issued last week by the corporate office of Popeye's, the Atlanta-based AFC Enterprises Inc., reads in part, ''The Popeye's family is devastated by this situation: our deepest sympathies go out to the family of Mr. Truesdale.''

Truesdale's body was transported to New York City, where a funeral service was scheduled for Tuesday, Jan. 29. While Cooke said he wasn't included in making the arrangements, he planned on attending the ceremony.

''I thought we were going to be together for a long time,'' he says. ''I felt like we built so much together. Most couples our age don't have close to what we had.''

The gunman, who was dressed in black, was described as a light-complexioned black male, 18-22 years old, 5'9'' and 140 pounds. The second man, also wearing black, has been described as a light-complexioned black male, 18-22 years old, 5''7'' and 135 pounds. The Prince William County Police Department is asking anyone with information about the case to call Crime Solvers at 866-411-TIPS.

Taken from:

sometime being the baby is not so bad...

i have been opening up more to people that i feel i can trust over the past year or so. well over the past couple of months i have been getting closer to my sister. we have never had a horrible relationship or event a rocky relationship, we just have kinda always did our own things. when she was in high school i remember always being around her, going to basketball practice with her, her and her friends taking me trick or treating. i remember chilling with her & her ex boyfriend when he was a football player at texas a&m in cain hall. i remember crying when i found out she was leaving texas to go to virginia and dc to attend howard university. it was her that showed me the sites the first time i went to dc, it was her that sent me the best birthday and valentines day cards, candy, and got me the great christmas gift. i even spent my 13th birthday with her, as i spent the entire summer with her, i never knew how much she would impact my life nd be able to help me when i was in need. on the flip side of that when i was here in texas messing up in school, and rebelling it was her that stepped in an threatened me with military school, and not being able to go shopping....(they knew how to get to me)..well when i fell in love with dc i found out that she and her then boyfriend now husband larry were moving back to texas, so i kinda forgot about wanting to move up that way. naturally when i decided to hit up dc i wanted to run it by her since she lived there for about 10 years. i was surprised at her reaction when i told her i was going to pursue am internship, and try living in the district. she told me that she worked hard while she was there, but overall it's a great place to live, and i am at an age where i need to explore live and learn. i was so expecting her to tell me to stay my ass in texas and find a job doing nothing, but making money....sometimes being the baby just ain't too bad...

about to shake washington up again....

well i have been trying to get to dc for sometime now. i decided recently that i will be interning in dc over the summer, and hopefully that will open up some doors for me to get a real gig up there by the end of the summer, if not i will have another plan. i took my first trip to washington dc in 1994 to visit my sister while she was in undergrad @ howard university. i was into being a tourist, wanted to see the capitol, white house, and all the monuments. i took a few more trips afterwards, but none like the trip to dc i have taken in the recent years. i have a artistic side, i have never been much into politics and that kind of thing, until i realized that i was a gay man of color, and so many of us just settle for whatever. i had the wonderful opportunity of being introduced to the human rights campaign in 2006. for the first time in my life i was intrigued by politics, the political process, and standing for equality and change. i started looking more and more into public policies, and what i wanted and needed to do to be at my generations forefront of change. you see i have lived, i am pretty advanced for a 22 year old, and i love life. i am one that believes the only way one can truly analyze something is to live it. i don't believe in a lot of physiological studies, and reading books to figure out a type of person. some studies i understand on other i don't nor do i care to attempt to. when i crossed my fraternity i received a call from one of my most political friends, and he had the following words for me that have stuck with me every day since then he said the following

"Terrance, you are the type of person that most of us aspire to be. you are accepted, but you don't care if others don't accept you. you accept yourself. you are proof to society that all gay men of color are not one particular way. with the work you have done with the hrc, on our campus, and in the community in houston, you are truly a leader, and you will go far, i see what you are doing, and you will be one of the people we read about when it comes ot historical figures in the black sgl community."

those words touched me in so many ways that it's crazy. well last fall i took another trip to DC for a hrc hbcu conference, and once again it was a life changing experience. however his trip was different. i was able to actually sit down and talk to people, then more than one person asked me "Terrance have you ever considered coming to DC?" i was like yeah i come all the time, they said no i mean to lobby, work for human rights, and other important issues facing young people..and no i had never really considered. when i was on capitol hill i ran into a friend from undergrad @ pvamu who now works on the hill, and she said "Terrance you look happy" that made me feel great, but more than that it made me consider a move to DC even more. i came home to texas, and six months later here i am. i have had to realize that my life is just that my life, and i have to do things that will please me, and most of all please my lord and savior jesus christ. i will forever be greatful for this gift that i have and now i am ready to use these god given talents to work for my community...

washington is not texas

okay so the weather is cold, i will not take my car, and i will not have whataburger. i will be in a city where it seem that the african-american community is more progressed, and educated. i will be able to chill with other lobbyist, students, and very opinionated people. i will be able to make life long contacts, ride my bike on the mall, and go to museums on the regular. with the help of some of my texan friends hopefully i will fit right in. so after houston splash festivities wrap up seems i will packing up and hitting it.....!

setting a new standard...

my standards in life are high....well it depends on what is high to you. as i look back on my 22 years of existence i can truly say that i have lead an good life. i can truly attribute a lot of my positive qualities to the people i have surrounded myself with. as a young boy i developed my own mind, and my parents made me realize that i was living for me, image is everything , and things i do are not only a reflection of myself, but of them also, and i respected that a lot. at age 22 i am happy with myself, i have a personality that's like potato chips, people cannot just get one. i have tried to make my life be a well balanced as possible. i cannot and will not overdue my education, because while education is extremely important it's not everything. some of the people i admire the most have little or no education. i can sit in almost any environment and be comfortable, i have a decent relationship with my family, and even though i may not see eye to eye with them, i know that they are there at the end of the day. i say what is on my mind, and i have the reputation for being blunt, i try to express myself in ways that will not hurt people, bu sometimes they get hurt anyway, but the truth hurts...as i explore more of tog and get to know different sides of him, i am finding out so much. i am finding that i am open to things that i might not have been open to a while back, like moving away from texas, even dating outside my race....yea i said it...lol..i fell when people look and talk to me they can feel my ethnicity, yet they can also tell i am educated and intelligent. i have the looks that don't seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, at least if i have anything to do with it. i am setting a new standard for the people i chose to let into my life. when you have specific goals and you are trying to get somewhere, you don't have time for foolishness or foolish people. i am extremely proud of the young man i have come to be...i might not have had a lot of the thing people feel you need growing up to be successful, but i have proven them wrong. i came from the working class, and a real mother that gave it to me like it was. i realized early in life that the world is a huge and often unfriendly. i have set a new standard.....and i am excited..

I'M BACK....

well i have taken a little hiatus on my blogging for a little while..over the past six months i have been dealing with a lot. i have had a lot of time to think and i must say i a m so prepared to make some much needed changes in my life.

i have lived so long without taking chances in life every time, i try to make a major move in my life, i seem to get sidetracked, and settle for something simple. i have been making my own decisions for a while now, but i managed to stay within a comfort zone. i chose to attend colleges close to home, i became involved in relationships with people that had local ties. i saw myself living in texas for the rest of my life. i decided that i wanted more from life, and i wanted to take a change from the "norm".

i have had time to sit back and think about where i want my life to go, and what i want to do. i can say i am about to make some major changes, so i want you to stay tuned...